In-Laws Interfering Yet Again! It Has To Stop!!
By Janey1966
@Janey1966 (24170)
Carlisle, England
February 18, 2010 6:16pm CST
I've had a really good day, picking Mum up, bringing her back here, having a laugh. My mood, however has been shattered by something the in-laws have done when my hubby took their car round.
12 CANS OF COKE!
What's wrong with that? You may be asking.
Well, about 18 months ago he decided that he wasn't drinking 4 litres of Diet Coke EVERY DAY as it was no good health-wise or for his wallet either. His parents know this.
I was at home when John took the car back. If I had been at the in-laws' house there is no way a 12 pack of Coke would be allowed into his possession as I would've put my foot down.
I have since told John that he "can't say no" and it was "irresponsible" of his parents for giving him the drink as they know his situation.
Why have they done it? Is it to wind me up to see how far they can stretch my patience? Is John at fault for not saying "no" as I have already mentioned to him? Should I confront the in-laws over this or keep quiet knowing that they have severely dented my appreciation for them as "caring" parents?
I'm absolutely fuming about this, I really am!
My brother was an alcoholic and there's no way my Mum would go round with beer for him. He's been off the booze for over 5 years! Coke is just as bad so why be like this? Do they want him hooked on the stuff again or what?
My brother was an alcoholic and there's no way my Mum would go round with beer for him. He's been off the booze for over 5 years! Coke is just as bad so why be like this? Do they want him hooked on the stuff again or what?3 people like this
11 responses
@sarcos (201)
• New Zealand
19 Feb 10
I have a brother who wont drink anything but coke. Have tried getting him to drink water to help the kidneys to flush out. Maybe they are putting something in it that gets a person hooked. i myself like a coke every now and then but can't drink more than one can as it goes sour in my stomach after that.
Maybe they think that afew cans wont hurt john.
Just try and get him to pace the coke out now that he has the cans so he isn't drinking them all at once.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
19 Feb 10
janey he is an adult, c annot you let him have the final say over his own body for heavens sakes. I would totally rebel if my husband had been like that with me. You are as much as saying Johns too stupid to take care of himself. wow, thats a bit much.
@jewels49 (1776)
• United States
19 Feb 10
Maybe they didn't mean anything by it. Are they aware he gave up coke? Maybe they forgot or thought he didn't stick to it. Not to play devils advocate isn't the respnsibility totally his. He's a grown up, just because they gave it to him doesn't mean he will or has to drink it.
1 person likes this
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
19 Feb 10
Yes, they are aware he has given up the Coke. He even told them how much better he was feeling and the amount of money he was saving each year. I've rang the mother-in-law up anyway (rightly or wrongly) and all she would say was, "can I not buy him anything now?" All I said to that was, "it's not the fact you bought it him, it's the fact he has given it up and you went and bought him some, that's different." To which she hung up.
@BarBaraPrz (47667)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
19 Feb 10
Diet pop is even worse for a person than regular pop, on accaount of the high sodium content.
I don't know what they were thinking.
1 person likes this
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
19 Feb 10
It's the principle of it that I find so infuriating. They know that if I had been there no Coke would've got out of that house...no way! So the fact they have gone behind my back...and John has accepted it..annoys me even more. I don't have a say even though I am married to the guy. When will it end? Is a question I have asked myself many times.
1 person likes this
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
19 Feb 10
It's so annoying isn't it? Aren't you tempted to get hold of the cake and slap it into your mother-in-law's face? That's exactly what I want to do with this 12 pack of Coke...go round to her house and push it into her face and say, "you drink it, John doesn't want it, OK?" Apparently, it was a buy one, get one free...so why get the free one? This seems pre-meditated to me and I'm NOT happy!!
2 people like this
@tamarafireheart (15384)
•
19 Feb 10
Hi Janey
To be hones here, John, is not a child and he should have refused, also his parents are at fault too, I used to have a MIL who always bought cokes for my brother and sister in-law but they are very skinny, but hubby don't drink that much, now he only have a glass now and again when the moods takes him, you should talk to your hubby and tell him to take the cokes back.
Tamara
1 person likes this
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
19 Feb 10
Yes, I am wondering about this dilemma myself...although I really am tempted to ring my MIL up tomorrow as she needs to know that her behaviour is well out of order. The thing is, even if I speak to her nicely (which is what I want to do in a calm manner) would she take any notice or would she get on the phone to her husband AND John...again, behind my back? If I speak to her in confidence I know she will do this as she cannot keep stuff to herself. So frustrating!
1 person likes this
@jesssp (2712)
• Canada
19 Feb 10
I've gotta admit, this made me chuckle. In laws can certainly be maddening, can't they? Even when it's something that seems so trivial and simple it still has veins of vindictiveness or malevolence. Honestly, I would just let it ride. If I had to guess they probably did this just to give their little boy a treat - possibly because they think his big meanie of a wife won't let him have it, and possibly because parents (especially mommies) like to spoil their kids sometimes. If it, or the same type of thing, happens again I would maybe call her up and thank her very much for the thoughtful gesture, but remind her that hubby can't have Coke anymore. So thanks, but no thanks. Ask if she would like it back and if not tell her you'll pass it on to someone who can have it.
Of course I don't know you're MIL and you do, so that probably sounds like very trite advice!
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
20 Feb 10
To be honest, I did exactly what you said and told her that John doesn't drink Coke anymore and that I was concerned that she gave him some to which she replied, "so I can't buy him anything then can I?" I can't win! I've probably made the situation worse by ringing her but I couldn't let it go. She has wound me up so many times that it had to be done, I'm afraid. Fallen on deaf ears though as John is her son and she will do as she likes and that's that lol.
@ElicBxn (63643)
• United States
19 Feb 10
I was doing a 6 pack of Diet Dr Pepper every day, or at least I'd drink several if not 6...
I have now had the last of 24 pack that I picked up a month ago - so if he can make that 12 pack last 2 or longer weeks, he'll have done a job kicking the habit and have it just as a treat
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
19 Feb 10
Well, let's hope so. I've let the mother-in-law know over the phone what I thought of that decision to give him the Coke. Obviously, she's not impressed but that's just tough. I've had to put up with a lot from her over the last few months so I suppose I had to vent my spleen at some point. No doubt it will backfire on me. So be it. I'm really past caring.
@derek_a (10873)
•
19 Feb 10
It is true that in-laws can be very interferring as I found out when I was first married. Back in those days we lived with them for a while whilst we saved for a home of our own - That was a big mistake, as they could not help but interfere with every thing we did.. One night there was a heated discussion and I just stood up and told everyone that I was leaving. My wife sat there for a moment and then got up also. I told her she should stay for a while until I found somewhere to live, but she left with me. We stayed in a hotel that first night, but found an apartment the next day. I will not allow interference but if my wife was to be persuaded by her parents to do something that would risk her being ill, then that's up to her. She is a grown woman and make up her own mind. If she can't then I won't interfere or I will be accused of interferring then.. 
_Derek
_Derek @Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
19 Feb 10
hi janey I thought for awhile the coke was the stuff with the sugar in it. odd that so many people now believe all the garbage about aspartame when I snopes the reports and snopes always says not true, or false. Of course if the diet coke is a no no then the inlaws should keep the stuff to themselves not foist it onto your husband who like me may have a hard time saying no to p eople and free gifts. But I would soft pedal the diet coke stuff as it not nearly as bad as the real crap full of sugar and god only knows what else. I would give the in laws the benefit of the doubt that maybe they had forgot he is trying to kick the diet coke habit. But this whole thing sounds a bit stupid in that John is an adult, not a little kid. Should not John have the final say so over his own body? I know if I was treated as John has been I just might rebel.
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
19 Feb 10
It's not the fact he doesn't have the final say (he does as the Coke is still in the house, it's not down the sink) it's the fact that he can't say "no" to his parents and knows that the sugary stuff especially is bad for him. Remember, he used to drink 4 litres of Diet Coke A DAY. He did this for years and it was HIS decision to pack it in, not mine. If I had been there with him there is no way they would've offered him the drink in the first place.
@thedailyclick (3017)
•
19 Feb 10
Well the blame certainly goes two ways on this and first your in-laws shouldn't have offered up the 12 pack in the first place. But John should also have resisted and said No to it as well. Why they did this, maybe the inlaws are just getting forgetful or don't really see what the issue is as to them cans of coke are not a bad thing. I would like to think that it's not some sort of personal thing to wind you up, but then know it could quite easily be.
What I would say is that whilst the temptation to berate the in-laws for the thoughtless behaviour is one way of doing it. Your best option is to build John up so he can learn to say No. Not only will it help him in the long run but it will also annoy the in-laws even more if they are trying to push your buttons in this way as it will stop their game playing in their tracks.
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
20 Feb 10
I have had a go at the MIL and it's backfired on me. John came in moody from work (as though she rang him up straight after I spoke to her) but he's since come round and is fine. I shall not mention it anymore. In the meantime, he has drank 2 cans. I can't see the 12 lasting very long.
@kymomof3 (155)
• United States
19 Feb 10
Janey at the beginning of your post you emphasized EVERYDAY and it was no good for his wallet either,maybe if you explained it to his parents in this manner they thought he was cutting back, not quitting. Maybe they just thought the reason was he couldnt afford it. Thats how I originally took your post.I think you should just let it go. I wouldnt be confrontational to them. If you want to just throw away the coke,or give it away. Thats what I would do if my husband couldnt say no as to not hurt their feelings for the gift.
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
19 Feb 10
Like I said in a previous comment, they have known about John's Coke habit (lol) for years and realised that 4 litres a day was a bit excessive. John also has health considerations aside from the damage this demon drink causes to his insides. You would think that - if they were caring parents like they portray themselves to be they would realise that giving him a load more Coke isn't the brightest idea they have come up with in recent weeks.
