Do you have Friends that you can't mention around other Friends?

I think everyone has a bit of that to some degree, My mates used to be a bit sceptical of one of my best mates but now they get on with them well, Not truly friends but when we go out for a few drinks they can usually get on very well.

Do family members count? I am sure they do. I have an older sister who tells everything she knows, and then embroiders it, and adds stuff that is not even true. I have to be careful about what I say around her. She lives with her daughter, who does not always remember this. I had to shush her in a restaurant the other day. My niece, her daughter had taken us all out. My sister, in a none too quiet voice started to repeat a story related to private HIPAA type info. My niece should have not mentioned this info at home, and I did not want it mentioned in public. Add to this I have an estranged Daughter in Law who thinks people talk about her all the time. I dare not mention her in front of my sister at all or there will be stuff being said to strangers and in public, etc. that is not even true. So,let's boil it down. My sister is a blabber mouth. No one says anything to her if they want the story straight and private. My daughter in law is paranoid. Not a good mix. Nothing I can do about it. I can redirect my sister. I can put up with being cursed by my DIL. I cannot change either of them, I can only avoid them, keep any info I have private, and go on with life.

it can be a little complicated. especially in my case. whew!!! how do i begin to explain without baring all the facts. cutting the story short... my bestfriend's ex is also now my ex. -lol- so for a time we couldn't even mention names of common friends without being reminded of our predicament. it was very uncomfortable. but we all took it in a stride. i mean what else can we do? hehe imagine that all 3 of us had dinner together one time. i'm sure we all had stomach upsets. hahaha it wasn't easy during that time coz i didn't want to give up on friendships and neither do i like giving up on the boyfriend. we're still friendly though even if it didn't work out after almost 4 years. my bestfriend had him for a few short months, we hooked up a year after they broke up. and now 4 years after, he's also my ex. hahaha i have an assortment of friends, some are poles apart that they couldn't have been friends if not for me. i think i'm the common ground where nobody is judged by another person. i have friends who have model-like figures while the others are on the heavy side, some are muslims while others are christians, some are incurable romantics while others are activists, some are straight some are gays, some are snob some are friendly... i guess i just happen to get along with most people, real people. nobody has ever told me to give up on my other friends. and as far as i know nobody amongst them has made an enemy of any of my other friends. some people don't get along because of the difference in lifestyles or principles. but dig deep enough, they could get along if they want to. they just need some common ground where they could meet halfway. well, most of the people i know love food... that's common enough. hahaha

Well, I am friends to everyone and my friends are friends to my other friends too. So there is no friends that can't be friends with my other set of friends.

yea,i do.i have groups that pretty much have to be kept apart from each other because one would never get along with the other due to lifestyle or beliefs. it's not so much a "can't mention" aspect,it's an i know there'd be trouble,and i'm not putting up with it from either party.

From time to time there have been upsetting situations with break ups and such and for a period of time there would be a no mention sign up. I just had a bad run in with an old 'friend' and so there is bad feelings and I would chose to say that I would not care to hear her name mentioned.

My one male friend hates this one girl who is my friend. I'm not close to her I just correspond with her on facebook. He used to hang out with her and her friends a lot but he cant stand her now and doesnt talk to her at all. When I talk about her he tells me he doesnt want to hear about her.

i dont have many friends, so i dont experience things like this. my wife has different groups of friends so i guess she doesnt have some problems like this too. maybe if this happen it is better for you to be at the middle and to do something so they can be friends again. if they are both your friends and they are in a misunderstanding, do something so they can clear things, whatever that may be. be a solution to it.

I’ve been in a situation where one of my friends for some reason did not like another and it made life very awkward for me! Years ago my friend was getting married and I was one of the bridesmaids. The bride invited another friend of mine to the wedding but decided later that she wasn’t keen on her and, because it was too late to ‘uninvite’ her she decided that this friend of mine should at least stay away from the hen’s night. So here I was as a bridesmaid trying to organise a hen’s night for the bride where all the females who were invited to the wedding would be going to except for this one girl whom the bride did not care for! Because the bride was adamant I didn’t know how to handle the situation! Fortunately the Gods must have been looking out for me because the girl in question announced she could not come to the hen’s party because she was flying to her mother’s town so she could nurse her as she had fallen ill. I was sorry that her mother was sick but boy was I relieved!

I am so glad that I don't have to be in such a situation. There was a time when there was a big rift between my girlfriends and we sort of had to take sides. But it wasn't like if the other person was mentioned to me it would affect my mood, I'm not that way. But we are so over that. :)

pretty interesting question, well it is not like that with me now, but yeah i can think of something like that, there might be something one doesn't want others to know or something you don't want to tell about yourself that the other group knows, it could be interesting if both the parties are at the same place and you are in one of the groups and some of your other friends see you when you don't want to be spotted, well i have had never been in such a situation.

The closest that I have to this situation is one of my friends is a Tupperware Consultant as I am and she's had a bingo game at her house a couple of times. The first time that she had it, my mother and I got reacquainted with an old friend of ours who later dated a party with me instead of Tara. Well, from that point I don't typically mention Ann around Tara and I don't mention Tara around Ann. I don't think that they couldn't get along, but I know that Tara is bitter that she ended up booking a party through me.

Yaa i have many friend's and friend's group.. but always i tries to connect all groups to each other.. but here is some problem.. and i can't connect them to each other.. because in my friend circle.. i have every type of friends some of mine very elder than me.. and some of mine as me and younger than me.. and they have different thinking.. so it is not possible to connect them to each other.. have a nice day and keep mylotting always..

No, I don't have any "secret friends."

Yes, I do. Frequently, this is because they are a former significant others who ended badly through the faults of one or both parties. If you want to stay friends with both, you learn not to get in the middle. Let them work out the mess themselves. You're a friend not a referee.

hey good ? bearballew! yes i do some thought i was crazee to communicate with a former co worker from work but i don t judge people as thye do and the ones mouthing off were ignorant them selves and some cruel- as we grow older we look at life differently sometimes/ many thought since i spoke to her i was just as nutty but didnt care what they thought- each to his own- sometimes its not easy but if given a hard time thne they aint worth having as friends till they grow up- despite the fact many were right things they said i still didnt listen to the "stuff" she ended up treating me badly under pressure and stress and i still hope she will be decent one day and realize i aint the enemy - will see?!i always stuck up for her and made excuses- i still would-my own hubby said she was a nut case but what do men know? women thing i think! we relate better-she flipped out before so will will see what happens this time some friends come and go in our life time for a reason- others stay-

I had a friend at work who had a problem with some of the other co-workers and he would get mad if I even so much as mentioned their names. We are no longer friends.

Hey Bear! What a great topic! I actually sort of have this very problem! I have two girlfriends who are also neighbors of mine who really don't care for each other and who seem to be jealous of the fact that they are both my friends! It used to alot worse! One would get upset if I was with the other one and vice versa! Now one of them lives next door and the other one lives across the street! Now we live in a Garden Apartment Complex which is a big bunch of connected apartments two stories high, four apartments to a front door in front, but all connected in the back and separated by streets! It's hard to explain! So, in other words we all can see each other coming and going! They are jealous of the time each one spends with me and neither really wants to spend time as all of us together! Sounds kind of ridiculous, it is! They are completely different as is our friendships! I am closer to my girlfriend across the street! We go out to dinner and movies and shopping and stuff like that. My other girlfriend has some mental disabilities and we mostly just hang out in my apartment or go to the grocery store. But, it still gets uncomfortable for me who is in the middle!

I have a couple of friends that don't really care for one another but I don't mind to mention the other in front of. I am the kind of person that has a variety of friends and I don't choose them based on someone elses opinion.

not exactly friends, probably business contacts or some other kind of persons one should constantly be in contact with. when it comes to friends, one should be more often, unless there is enough or sufficient reason not to. like irreconcilable differences between the two, but you still want to keep both of them. so the best solution is to keep from the other the other and vice versa. that way, you gotta keep the two friends without them knowing that they are both your friends. extra caution should be taken in this kind of situation, otherwise you end up losing both of them.