Hold on or let go?

You are in a tough situation and need to decide how long you want to wait for him to decide what he really wants. It sounds to me like he's not over his ex. She might be in a new relationship but she's still keeping in touch with him is not fair to her new boyfriend or to you. You don't want to start a relationship with him and then have him suddently change his mind and decide he really wants to be with her or someone else. You deserve better than the way he's treating you. Rebound relationships usually are fleeting and that's not any fun. His old girlfriend sounds mean, that she would say vulgar things to you and to tell you that you are not worthy. Your guy friend is lucky to be rid of such a mean person. You didn't say how long the two of you have been seeing each other but he's not ready to make it exclusive so why should you? He likely told his family that you are friend and left it at that. I would really think about why you are allowing this to continue? He likes you but doesn't want you to be his official girlfriend. That should be telling you enough. You need to start considering going out with other guys that might ask you. That's not wrong since you are no one's girlfriend right now. And you sound so sweet and kind that you deserve to have a guy that would want to tell everyone that he is lucky enough to have you as his girlfriend. The other thing to think about it that at the beginning of a relationship it when he'll treat you the best...and he's not doing a very good job of it. You have already been very hurt several times by this guy, so I think you know that it's time to break off your half way relationship. Why are you giving his so much power over things? Why is it up to him alone whether the two of you are in a relationship? You want to be, he has made it clear that he doesn't and he's being cruel to you in leading you on to belived he might change his mind. I'd try distancing youself abit from him, meet some new people. Maybe take up a new hobby so that you are not just sitting waiting on him but LIVING your life. Take care and I know how hard it is when your heart wants one thing and your head says something else!! Be Well!!

If i was in your shoe I would talk to the guy and ask him if what are really his plans on our relationship. And if he can't stop on communicating with his ex then I guess it is time for you to let go. And since he believes what his ex is telling him and it is one of the reasons why the two of you fight. Better for you to move on than continue with the guy who doesn't even care for your feelings if you get hurt or not.

Your a sweet and loving girl if you were able to go through that and still stick with him, but you are in a very unhealthy relationship. The guy you're in love with is pretty inconsiderate if he has told you "What's the difference if we'll be in a formal relationship?" is a very bad sign. He cannot even understand what it is to be in a formal relationship with someone. If a person is truly in love, he with really make you feel secure and make sure that you belong to him and he belongs to you alone. YOU DESERVE SOMEONE BETTER , if he is not giving you that things you need and not making you feel happy than love does not exist between the both of you. I'm just worried that you would lose your self confidence and esteem of you keep up with this, especially with the verbal abuses of his foolish ex. My advice would be FINE SOMEONE BETTER. never ever think that there is no one better than him because that is the biggest lie that you would be telling yourself. Someone out there deserves your love than him and you deserve someone better. Someone that would give you the security and love that you wanted. Listen carefully to your heart girl. You would know what you should do.

he has not been able to move on in his life n thats wat is bothering you so its his loss coz his exgirl now has moved on but he is still entangled with hoppes of her coming back into his life so waiting for such a person is waste....Let him know you were his support n wat do you mean into his life let him feel space when you r gone so be straight n ignore him for few months....goodluck

no body deserves such treatment...your bf is so lucky to have you...ive experience that w/ my husbnd before we got married...what i did...was leave Him w/o any words...i just disapeared...turned off my cp...always go to work..let him realize my worht...i told myself..if he looks for me..for sure he will find me..if not i will let go...i know its really hard to fall inlove w/ someone who doesnt realize your worth...after few weeks he went to our house and talked to my parents bout the wedding...then we talked about everything...now we are happy...we will be having our first baby...so girl dont just love him...let him realize your worth...let him decide w/o forcing him to choose you...don't mind his ex...ok...i can see that you're pretty..so don't be afraid.ask God's will...

I really think you should let go. He definitely is making "sure" he's gonna have one of you left if the other one goes. Girl, you'll end up getting hurt if you continue, and if he really loves you, like you said he does, he won't hurt you like that and will understand you. He will avoid things that make both of you fight. And communicating with his ex and calling each other "hon"? That's ridiculously sick. If he really loves you, he'll come after you and comes back to you even if you let him go. Good luck.

i would say goodbye to this fellow. you have to do all the chasing after him. he dosen't appear to want a relationship with you at all. as for his ex-girlfriend he can have her. you deserve better than this. find another guy who really cares about you and wants to have a relationship with you. the best to you.

I'm a lot older than you so I'm pretty sure my advice will fall on deaf ears. My thoughts when reading this are,"you can do so much better for yourself". Your boyfriend talks to and calls his ex "hon" regardless of how that makes you feel which tells me that he really doesn't care about your feelings. You have a lack of trust and there is no commitment at all here. These things won't change even if you get a commitment from him. He is who he is. If he changes at all, it will be in his own time and not because you want him to. You have to decide whether or not this is the relationship is what you want for yourself. You can't base your decision on what you wish it would be or hope it'll turn into. you have to stay or leave based on what you have in front of you today. Again, I think you can do better. I hope you do too.

you dont have to be confused. this kinds of guys are the one who wants to be sure that he will not be empty handed in the end. sounds like you are at the reserve area. i know guys like this for my brother is like this when we are still younger (though i know he is still like this even he is married already). there are women who are like this also. they always have someone that they reserve if the other relationship wont work. i guess the guy that you like is still hoping a reconcilliation with his ex. just my opinion. if i were you find someone else who will respect and treat you better. he is not worth it. get of it now while you are not yet into deep.

Just leave him gracee. Even if he acknowledges you being together already, can you be so sure that he would stop his communication with his ex ( whom he still calls hon?! that is just not right!) I think the only reason he doesn't want to enter into a formal relationship is because he just doesn't want to be committed, and he doesn't want to say that he is cheating with you because he is still in contact with his Ex. That's just really not right. I mean, if he is not ready yet, then why is he even acting like you are already in a relationship? There are a lot of men out there, that i'm sure would be willing to be committed to you. So just leave him with his ex and trust that Karma will get him.

i guess he have reason why, in the first place looks like his still in love with her ex an looks like his just using you so he will not feel so down and bad without his ex coz your there that he can count on whenever he feel bad nor sad. if he tell you he loves you but still have communication with his ex then better let him go first. he said he doest want to enter into relationship yet is only his excuse for the fact that he still love his ex so that once he can have a chance to get back to his ex he have no obligation to you since your not his formal girlfriend, im sorry to tell this but his just using you, sad but true. try to tell him straight, that you love him but looks like his not sure with you yet since his into his ex up to now. and that he must finished everything with his ex first before telling he loves you coz you dont want to expect a lot but none at the end. better be friend and stop telling i love you if his not ready to enter into relationship. better enjoy life with him as friend til he finally realize that he needs you more than his ex. dont expect more from him nor avoid loving him just think of him as friend and warned him by saying i love you if theres still unfinished business with his ex. or else you will become just be a rebound only.

I'm sorry... I know how you feel. How long did you say you've been seeing each other? I don't know why men have difficulty in committing to a girl they show interest in. But, the way I see it, maybe it's better if you just let go. I don't think you deserve this kind of guy. Who is very insensitive and unaffected of your feelings. You think you can do it? I understand the feeling for your love for him. But how far can you go on hurting? I'm sure you're familiar with the saying "if you love someone set him free, and if he comes back he is meant to be"? Try to do it. And try to get busy so that you won't think of him so much. That way, you'll be moving on, and little by little relieving the hurt inside. I wish for your happiness. Good luck!

If I were in this situation I am definitely gonna let go and show they guy that I can totally live without him. How can you love someone who is insensitive to your feelings? You'll just have to go and get yourself a good man. There are plenty of fishes in the ocean. You can always collect and select. The love that you call love isnt the real love at all. There will always be something better for you. I just dont think you deserve something like this.

i'm sorry to be brutal but i think u just need to know right away before u accrue an even more nasty damage to yourself.... "he's just not that into you" u know, like the flick with drew barrymore in it. if a guy really, really, wants a girl -- there's no waiting. go dive right in. especially if the girl is showing a hint that she feels the same way. in your case, you were not only showing signs, you ARE it already. that guy is definitely on a see-saw. if i'm in your position -- i would go. yes, easier said than done. time will come you'll get numb till you wake up and discover you don't want him anymore because of the pain he has put u through. good luck deary...

Honestly you shouldn't have to wait. If he truly loved you he would commit and do what it takes to keep you in his life. You shouldn't have to put up with everything that you put up with. I know what it is like to love someone so much that you would do almost anything to be with them, but there is a limit. You should move on, and find someone that makes you feel secure and loved. I used to like someone that I knew a relationship wouldn't work with, and he made me feel very confused about where we stood, and I moved on and found someone I love and would do about anything for and I know he would do anything for me, real love doesn't revolve around waiting for someone to grow up, and realize you exist, real love is when you are the world to someone and not just someone to stomp on. When someone really loves you they go out of their way to show you if it means keeping you in their life, as much as me and my significant other have been through we know how much we love each other and we always make it through because we have that love for one another that keeps us together, and if this guy loved you that much he wouldn't hesitate to show you, and no matter how much you've been through you would know what you're going through is worth it. If you feel that everything you have been through or even questioning if it is worth it, then it isn't worth everything you are sacrificing into a relationship that doesn't seem to matter to him. You should move on and find someone to whom you are the world to, and vice versa. I hope my advice helps, but only you can choose what you want to do, I hope you make the right decision for you.

something's wrong with him? Wtf? who calls their ex hun still? tats pretty messed up. I htink u should just let go. Obviously it seems like he doesnt care enough to keep in a relationship, n y shud he call her hun if he wants to be with her? his lack of wanting to be in a relationship makes me think tat he just wants to keep u there. either for hooking up or just w/e. I wouldn't want to be with a guy who doesnt like me back. but i have never been in this situation, and I'm sure it's a lot harder for you to make a choice cuz u have feelings for him. idk maybe stay a little longer, but not sooo long so u end up getting taken advantage of.

I was once in that situation, a couple of years ago, at the end I loose the patience and I decide that I was not going to pursue that guy anymore, the way I see it, he is not ready for any relationship, or he doesn't really love you, it looks like he still have something going on with his ex, and this is very unfair and dangerous game. I would be furious if my boyfriend and his ex would be calling "hon" still, you deserve something way better than this, you deserve someone that loves you and want to be with you. I have to congratulate you for maintain your poise when that girl call you names. But I also have to tell you no guy deserve that you fight with another female because of him. If I would be right now in your position i would cut ties with him, he is playing with you, and it is very unfair and egoistic from him. You don't have to share my position, the decision is yours, but this is my opinion.

You have a tough situation there If I were you, you have to leave this guy. This guy is only trouble and a problem to you. You need to let go and find someone else who could really fill that gaping hole inside of your hear, you need to find a guy who is loyal to you and not keeping secrets from you, who really loves you by the way he treats you and not through his words because words has no meaning to it with out actions. Don't hold on to this guy, he only makes your life more miserable and worst. I know you love him so much but its not worth it anymore with out him loving you back and treating you like his own hear. Trust me, leave him and try to find someone else you'll get through the pain just ask help from your friends ask them to make you happy when your down, and try to distract your mind from him when you leave him, try doing things you like doing to keep you happy like go out with your friends all the time sooner or later your mind will be free of him and you will able to know and see his true face and character. ^ ^ Good luck my friend I know you'll get through it, and don't forger to Pray to GOD. ^ ^

You need to dump him and cut off ALL contact for good. Move on and meet someone else. He's treating you like dirt and you are letting him do it. Do you have a low opinion of yourself that you let someone treat you this way? He wants no formal relationship and still is in contact with his old girlfriend. The red flag warnings are ALL there - get out now. I have seen this happen to friends and read books, talked to therapists, etc. He's NEVER going to change. When you think someone will change simply because you want them to or because you love them - you are living on false hopes. No one will change unless they want to. This guy does NOT want to change anything - he likes what he is doing. He's a jerk playing you for a fool and hanging onto the ex at the same time. The ex is obviously still attached to him too - so get out of this. Cut of ALL contact immediately. Go sit in your room and cry if you want to, but get over it and get strong. You deserve someone who really wants YOU.