Has anyone went through this before?
By cream97
@cream97 (29086)
United States
February 19, 2010 4:14pm CST
I have an account with facebook. Today, I deactivated my account because I was not shown the recognition and love from my family members. So many of my family members are on facebook. Most of them live in this same town as I do. I have asked to be their friends and they have added me. But, my problem is that when I am on the chat with one of them they will talk to me then all of a suddenly they will jump offline. I am like what happened to them? I This happened with all three of my cousins that were guys. I said hello to one of them and he just all of a suddenly jumped offline. Then today, I was on the chat with my other cousin and we chatted for about five minutes. And he said that he had to see who I was. And I asked him if he could tell by my picture. And he said that he thought that my picture was a picture of Aaliyah.... And then he just got offline.. He did not say bye, I will talk to you later cuz.. Just poofed and then he was gone.
This all makes me very sad, because I love all of them. They are my second cousins. We all have gotten along when we were around each other. I put a picture of Aaliyah on my profile because, I admire her and her photo looks identical to me. I was not trying to fool anyone, I just did not have a picture of my own to put on there. But that is besides the point.. My family should treat me better than that. I am nice to them, so they should be nice to me too. My husband is on facebook too, and he has not seen his family in years, and they all talk to him like it is nothing... I wonder why my family can't show me the same kind of love.??
It is like they think that they are better than me or something..
This all makes me very sad, because I love all of them. They are my second cousins. We all have gotten along when we were around each other. I put a picture of Aaliyah on my profile because, I admire her and her photo looks identical to me. I was not trying to fool anyone, I just did not have a picture of my own to put on there. But that is besides the point.. My family should treat me better than that. I am nice to them, so they should be nice to me too. My husband is on facebook too, and he has not seen his family in years, and they all talk to him like it is nothing... I wonder why my family can't show me the same kind of love.?? It is like they think that they are better than me or something..7 people like this
20 responses
@dreamnishu (1247)
• China
19 Feb 10
Same things happens to me. Whenever i talk with my friend then all online gone offline,after few minutes they all come back again. I think it's a problem in face book.
Don't worry they all love you so much and your family also show you the same kind of love.
Batter you talk with your cousins. Why they do like that?
Have a good day!
@nilzerous1 (2434)
• India
2 Mar 10
It is a cause of frustration - rather disappointment, I think. I don't understand the reason behind such acts. I just want to say that in my case because of my time schedule I say 'bye' before stopping conversation. I hope everybody else does so. You are, sadly enough, surrounded by host of family members who just tend to show their gross negligence. If it would happen for one time or other it could have been due to technical faults. But in your case, it is like their inherent habit.
I beg to say that it is better to keep safe distance from them - whether online or offline. Yes, I mean it. Just stay away from them to keep your peace.
There are lots of other people who really take care of you - eager to listen to you! So, I guess you should not have any problem in socializing.
1 person likes this
@nilzerous1 (2434)
• India
6 Mar 10
Thanks for reading my reply. Yes. It is difficult to understand what goes on in their mind when they see you.
Happy mylotting!
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29086)
• United States
4 Mar 10
Hi, nilzerous1. Thanks for responding! I am so happy to see you! It is hard to figure them out because this is happening..... It would be right if they only say, they have to go.. I don't know why some of my family members act as if they are so much better than certain people in the family. I love everyone regardless. I will treat them all the same and no differently.. I was thinking that they would have a better attitude about hearing from me since we hardly ever see each other. I haven't seen one of my male cousins since about three years ago. And the other one was 8 years ago.. And the last one was 6 years ago.. So, by then they should be more than happy to see me... I know that I was happy to see them.
@scarlet_woman (23463)
• United States
24 Feb 10
is it a live scrolling chat?
sometimes those things burp and kick people without warning.
i know a lot of people that just drop off like that.i'm so used to them doing it tho.
it's rude,but common on the net anymore.they could at least say "bye"
1 person likes this
@scarlet_woman (23463)
• United States
25 Feb 10
can't blame you.that's frustrating when people do that.
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29086)
• United States
24 Feb 10
Hi, scarlet_woman. It is pretty much live. One of my cousins did pop up on my screen all of a suddenly. And he started chatting with me. Another cousin was just chatting with me and the he just left too. It said that his status was offline. But I feel that if they no longer want to chat they should say, bye, I will see you later or whatever... And they could have just left me a message stating that they were sorry that we got cut off during the chat. When they did not do this that is when I started to think that this was no accident. They are intentionally disappearing. So, I have just decided to leave this site alone. I really have no use for it as much as I do with myLot. I am more established at myLot then I am at facebook anyway.
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29086)
• United States
26 Feb 10
Hi, scarlet_woman. It is all confusing. If they can give me a good explanation of why all three of my cousins have just popped off all of a suddenly, then maybe, just maybe will I believe them. Otherwise, I am thinking that they are just playing silly games with me. All of these guys are grown men. And they know better than to behave like little kids.
@Daniel2009 (103)
• China
21 Feb 10
Dno't be sad,my friend.You say your family members on facebook usually jump offline when you talk to them,I think it is normal,they are all very familiar with you,and they would communicate with you in life.They would like to make strangers friend on line.but,you are not the one,they love you,but can not express by web only.I think.
1 person likes this
@Gany15k (1673)
• India
19 Feb 10
I can understand your situation.It will be really heard.I know the pain if there is know love in life.I have experienced it.But when I chat with my cousins they do reply and my friends also will reply.So, its differs from person.Don't worry if they did't respond you be cool there must be waiting something bigger for you.So be happy.Enjoy the life.Life is very short.Don't think the person who is not responding you.Leave them as such.All will happen good.
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
21 Feb 10
I am so sorry Cream that your Family is so rude and awful to you I know it would make me sad to really sad I just do not know what to suggest apart from let them talk to you first in future as it just seems strange that they are being so horrible
@kykidd (6812)
• United States
22 Feb 10
I know what you are talking about cream. I seem to start several conversations, or should I say posts, and no one ever responds. But, I just have to move on.
When I first signed up for Facebook and Twitter, I told myself it was just for networking. I get my links out there to my articles and that is what matters to me.
I myself, have found myself guilty of ending a slow discussion without saying "See Ya" or " Good Bye". But that is because the other person hadn't responded in a while, and I had work to do on other web sites. Then, later, I realized that I may have been rude. Hopefully, you won't take it personally, and you will continue to use the advantages that these web sites have to offer.
Good luck to you in the future, and by the way, thank you for all of your responses in my discussions. Have a good night!
1 person likes this
@warmweatherwoman (2233)
• Atlantic City, New Jersey
19 Feb 10
I would start off with telling you not to take it personally. I can admit to being one that jumps off and online during a conversation with family and friends on facebook. Everytime may be a different reason that I went offline...but none of the reasons are because I didn't want to talk to that person anymore.
We must remember that chat is not like having a face to face conversation. It isn't even like having a phone conversation. There are no hello's, and goodbye's are not expected. So I wouldn't jump to any hasty conclusions that it is because they just don't want to talk to you :)
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29086)
• United States
19 Feb 10
Hi, warmweatherwoman. Don't you find it very strange that all of my cousins are just jumping offline all of a suddenly when they are chatting with me? I am trying not to take it personally, but it strikes me as very weird and it makes me wonder why all of them are doing the same thing to me..
1 person likes this
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
20 Feb 10
I think if sometime in the future you would like to re-active back your account, I think Facebook allows that. I read about that somewhere. Anyway, the decision definitely lies with you. Anyway, that's weird why your cousins suddenly went offline like that. I know how you feel, so don't worry too much about it. Sometimes things between families/relatives are like that, and there's no explanation. Generally speaking, I know what you mean..some people have all the love in the world and some of them appreciate that fact while others don't.
1 person likes this
@Niah1976 (739)
• Paranaque, Philippines
20 Feb 10
Don't be too negative my dear because you are only hurting yourself.
I am fond of playing bejeweled blitz in facebook so most of the time I don't want to chat but it doesn't mean I don't love my friends and relatives that i avoid chatting with. Maybe we just have the same reason. So cheer up!
@PocketRocketsAA (628)
• Philippines
20 Feb 10
Hello Cream. People suddenly going offline happens to me a lot too. I think you shouldn't think too negatively about it. Facebook's chat feature isn't as good as Yahoo Messenger's or AOLs, so from time to time it lags, gets disconnected and crashes. That happens to me all the time before I can even say good bye. I didn't intent to get disconnected but there's nothing I can do about it. I do hope they don't think negatively about it though. Hope things get better for you on Facebook. Cheer up!
1 person likes this
@pandaeyes (2065)
•
20 Feb 10
I only chat with my daughter on there.
We have links to other people but I don't go to the chat box because I cant usually think what to say. I just type a comment sometimes on their page and sometimes they type one on mine.
You know you could tell them that you feel hurt when they break off the chat like that. It might be they are working and have to stop to get back to work or it could be the link is not good.
My daughter would send a comment to me and I would send one to her and find that it cut off and then we have to wait for it to resume the link. Now we use skype instead and it is better anyway because we can see each other with the web cam but also it keeps the link much more continuously.
@Earthman155 (3)
• Slovenia
20 Feb 10
I think this is a problem on Facebook, not with your friends. Maybe you should try using other services to talk with your friends like Skype, MSN...
1 person likes this
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
20 Feb 10
Hmmmm... You know what, half the time people who are online there are either doing something else or are really busy and just left it be, so I wouldn't be surprised if facebook suddenly jumped it's connection which made the person go offline,that has happened to me every time.
Now, I have a little concern about our post. It seems that you are lacking affection or attention and you are begging for it from your second cousins and when they do not give you attention you'd end up sulking.
Wake up girl, you shouldn't ask for attention, you must earn it. Be successful and you'll see that those cousins would come back crawling - that is what relatives are for.
If I were you, gather up some 'real' friends and get out of your depression. Live your life, let those people be.
1 person likes this
@3SnuggleBunnies (16374)
• United States
20 Feb 10
That' happens here an there too. Sometimes reality comes before those we are talking to online. I would just not talk to them online. If they ask you why just say you prefer phone calls or in person visits or just plain not respond & do as they do.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
19 Feb 10
hi cream97 I know you are a very loving and sensitive person but I am not much in on the chatline stuff like facebook, could this thing of them jumping offline be someglitch in the system rather than them deliberately cutting you off?I mean they started to talk to you so what happened? I guess I am just too kind in thoughts but could it be that they did not cut you off on purpose? ;If you all live in the same town Cream, do talk to them, let them know you did not like being suddenly dropped like that, and maybe they really had a good reason and not because they wanted to hurt you. atleast I hope thats true.Also maybe they are not really up to how to do this stuff on facebook yet. I sure would ask some questions and let them know thats not really nice to just cut you off like that.tell them it hur
ts, they need to know if they get along with you in person.
ts, they need to know if they get along with you in person.1 person likes this
@leateagee (3667)
• China
20 Feb 10
Hello!
I felt sad after reading your story. I do have a facebook account but I only had it for a few weeks then I couldn't open it anymore. Facebook is blocked in the place where I am now. I don't know why but we can't open it here. I would love to chatting with cousins and other family members to but what happened to you is just so sad. Maybe you could write them a letter to put you at peace. I am sure there is a good reason why there is a coincidence of their disappearance or going offline at the same time.
Take care =)
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
20 Feb 10
That sux cream and I'm sorry that your family is treating you like that. Personally, I don't like chat and keep mine turned off. When I'm online I alternate between mylot and facebook...and other things too...so I can't commit to being available for chats. I used to run into this problem on AOL though. I would be IMing with someone and they would simply stop responding or would go offline without a word. Maybe some folks just don't understand that manners still count online.
@kiran8 (15348)
• Mangalore, India
20 Feb 10
Hi cream, what has happened is sad.But you should not have deleted your account for someone elses sake.You have your own individuality and personality and you have to develop it independantly without depending on anyone else.I am sure once your cousins realise that you are capable of having other friends they will automatically view you differently.What pic you want to have on your profile is left to you.No one can dictate terms regarding that.
I also have some well meant advise for you, but plz dont be offened by it.Do try to analyse all your dealings with your cousins and try to find out why they behave like that.Is there somethig that makes all of them behave in that manner.It is always good to go in for an honest self analyss, it helps us develop better relationships with people.I used to do counselling at schools for high school children and this was one of the things I told them to do on a daily basis, at the end of the dy go through all your actions and see which one makes you uncomfortable , then try to make amends...all the best and hope things work out and dont worry, we are all there for you on mylot 
