Have you ever felt like leaving this world behind and taking your pet with you?
By bonnie
@bunnybon7 (50973)
Holiday, Florida
February 20, 2010 4:20pm CST
well dont worry friends. im ok now. this morning i had a pretty bad depression going. one of those times where you feel like you are no good and not good for anybody or anything.
you know maybe. since sons new gf left,she has been calling him and pointing out reasons why she dont want to live here with me. it put him into a slight depression yesterday and we had long talks about the problem. last night he had to work again because his job has picked up for a while. anyway, he knew when he got home we'd need to go do some shopping. he called me early. 8 am is early for me when im having trouble sleeping over worrying about my sitution. but i was up and ready when he got here,EXCEPT, she was on the cell phone with him. so, i knew this would take a while and im like..EEE! whats the point?
so, i said"oh you are on the phone, so it will be a while!" she heard me and went on to fill his ear with irritations about me. When he got off the phone he was like "mom, she feels like you hate her. she said when she was here, you acted like you really didnt want to hug her" EXCUSE ME?? every time she moved in for a hug, i hugged her, big time. i tried making her feel welcome. now, its like the other one. its either her way or no way. she keeps finding more and more fault. how amI really to like someone like this? I was to the point of blameing myself. thinking maybe no one can live with me. So then i thought for my son to be happy, maybe i should move out. but i got no credit any more, theres no way to look for a place unless he takes me,(and he really dont want me to leave)as i pay my own way and its helping him make it here.I have other kids that would be glad to get a place with me but cant stand their spouses and/or kids either. i just got so depressed, i needed to talk to someone and couldnt think of who, so then i started thinking im of no use to anyone any more and just burden to my kids, etc. so i thought whats to happen to coco.? she loves my son here so much as he does her but when they was here she noticed he didnt pay as much attention and snapped at them if she was by him and one came to hug or sit by him. (no, shes never bit anyone and i dont think she would).so, you can see where my thinking was going. YES,I KNOW ITS CRAZY!! anyway, i couldnt quit crying, so i finally figured i might be able to talk to my cousin, but he was out shopping...then i tried my daughter in florida thats been staying with friends. She got pretty mad about it and pointed out all the reasons why someone should conform to how WE live if they move in with me. NOT that i have to change to her way. so on and so forth. in any case she cheered me up and got my MAD going instead of my SAD if you know what i mean..LOL! so now i feel much better and son is coming up with some better ideas also. all this went on while he was sleeping, btw. after he had told me all shes been saying. and guess what? from here on i hope i can keep this "ask me do I care" attitude!!LOL!! have you ever felt like that? and what brought you out of it? btw, thats an update to sons gf situation...4 people like this
14 responses
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
20 Feb 10
Why is it that he has to move everyone in?? what is it that she's willing to make a move from her home to there?? they barely know each other having met online which i think is ridiculous to start wjth. If shye wants to mpve there let her find her own place. I don't mean to make u mad, BON but i think it's all a mess. I WOULD NOT let her upset me so bad. If she is already acting like this u can imagine what it will be if she does move in. The last one one was bad enough but u may decide she was an angel if he gets tied up w/this one. it's a shame u just can't get your own place & be happy w/your life. We don't need hassles at our age if we can help it. If he wants her there that bad let him help u get set up in your own place & not have to worry w/all his girlfriends.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
21 Feb 10
i AGREE RUTH. i DON'T THINK HE NEEDS TO DRAG THEM IN & UPSET HIS MOM.The girl sonds like a trouble maker to me. Why has she got to go that ear to find a boyfriend to start with or vice versa,
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
21 Feb 10
good idea. he has said they've decided to have her move in her own place out here. but im thinking shes going to require a lot of his help that we cant afford. im really feeling like my son is letting me down. i asked him whats the hurry for him to have a woman and he says i wouldnt understand his need
RIGHT!! anyway, he says he didnt care for ones hes found here in az. frankly, i dont usually judge by looks but i think she feels my sons her last chance now shes got her claws in him. he says shes really nice if id give her a chance
EXCUSE ME?!! ive given her a chance. anyway, since shes been so mean, ive noticed she isnt even pretty. in fact he said himself when he went there to see her, shes not as pretty as she looked online. hes even asked me do i think shes as ugly as his step mom (a really ugly gal, but very nice)LOL! at the time, i didnt know she was discing me behind my back and i said" oh no, son,you shouldnt go by looks. shes cute" well, God got me back for that big lie..LOL!!2 people like this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
21 Feb 10
Use to girls tried to impress their boyfriend's mothers but i reckon that is a thing of the past. U would think if she had any sense u would have been on her best behavior. I'm not knocking your son but i think she is crazy to even be thinking about making such a big move when they hardly know each other. What a mess, huh? I sure hope it works out for the best.
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
23 Feb 10
The hide of her!. She's known him for 5 minutes and she's running down his Mom? Good grief! What gives her that right? You are due a lot of respect and deference not the shabby treatment shown to you. Your son needs to wake up and realise he's walking down the same path he did with Agra. Where you live is YOUR HOME! and these women need to understand that. Chin up now....you are in the right here - she is in the wrong.
. She's known him for 5 minutes and she's running down his Mom? Good grief! What gives her that right? You are due a lot of respect and deference not the shabby treatment shown to you. Your son needs to wake up and realise he's walking down the same path he did with Agra. Where you live is YOUR HOME! and these women need to understand that. Chin up now....you are in the right here - she is in the wrong.@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
25 Feb 10
thanks ms tickle. you always stick up for me and know what to say. 
yes ive tried telling him that but the "dummy" as fred sanford used to say
he cant see it. he says shes more like me then agra was if id just give her a chance...DUH! its her not giving me a chance. anyway he has decided to let her get her own place if she moves her....(i put a bug in his ear as to where id go if she moved in) LOL! he doesnt like that idea.2 people like this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
25 Feb 10
well i hope hers works out as well as mine has. thanks pose, your a good friend
1 person likes this
@tamarafireheart (15384)
•
20 Feb 10
Hi bunnybon7,
I am so sorry you were feeling like that, your daughter is right you know, the trouble with your son's girl friends, who ever is at the time are just looking for a home and your son is an easy target,I don't even think they care much for your son,just his house and you are standing in their way, please don't give in to any of them, your son can't see this as love is blind for him at the moment, they have no right to treat you the way they do and this woman is bad mouthing you to your son, if your son see sense he should get rid of this lady, remember no two women gets on in the same kitchen, this house is your home, not theirs hers.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
21 Feb 10
actually i dont mind a woman doing the kitchen work. i dont cook so great any more since its been years and i was having to get used to it again. thats certainly not the problem. she made some good things while she was here and my son even hurt her feelings by not even eating some he didnt like. i on the other hand like most everything and ate it and compimented her. now i wish id said it was terrible
@catdla1 (6005)
• United States
20 Feb 10
Wow! Sounds like this woman is rushing stuff, doesn't it? You don't have an unkind bone in your body, so she has nothing to complain about. Hate to say this, but when your son meets some one, is he telling them to bring a leash or what? Because it sounds like all of them have so far. Instead of meeting women with chutzpah, he has to have some himself.
What your son should mention to her, is that if she moves down, that between his income and hers, that they should be able to get you an efficiency apartment. That's offering to let her put her money where her mouth is, but my guess is that she would suddenly have a change of heart. She sounds like a gold-digger. If she comes again, invite Agra over....
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
21 Feb 10
its ok to say that catdla. I often tell him he gets P.W. really fast! when i called my daughter in florida, she said its the women he picks its not me. she also said that in spite of all her problems shes saved back a little emergency money from her refund check and she'd come get me if i wanted
out of every one of my kids and everyone i know shes always been the one most like me. your such a nice person to say those things about me. but i guess you can see that i probably could invite her over, agra, that is since in spite of warnings ive kept a slight freindship with her over the phone. only thing is, my son would be really mad if i asked her over after all this especially if "devil woman" was here see ive already got a nice pet name for her.1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
22 Feb 10
well i guess coco is a much nicer "person?" then me. of course i love kids to and i dont hold anything against them as their parents are to blame for how they act when they are small. coco LOVES little kids as long as they are nice with her. she loved him more then the gal. but probably she loves Lucy her dog friend more? its hard to say. shes such a hound for love and attention. everyone falls in love with her to before they do me1 person likes this
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
23 Feb 10
Wow, that is such a very interesting situation. That said, I have thought about leaving this world before, but I never thought about taking my pet with me. When I was younger I actually had it all planned out, but then I realized that just because things weren't going well for me at the time, there were a lot of things that I would miss if I was gone. I am so glad to hear that you are better now because I was really worried about you when I read the title of your discussion.
1 person likes this
@Aussies2007 (5336)
• Australia
21 Feb 10
You have to sit down with her and come to an understanding.
First rule, no fighting and no shouting.
Just a nice quite conversation over a cup of coffee.
The ground rules are simple.
1) You don't judge her, she don't judge you.
2) You don't tell her what to do, she don't tell you what to do.
3) You accept each other for what you both are.
Once you have agreed on those rules, you both try to compromise on everyday little things in order to function together and be able to do things together.
You are the older one and the mature one. It is your role to break the ice and show the way.
If you want to use your seniority to put your foot down and have it all your way, you are going to lose. Because young people don't like to be told what to do, and are in a hurry to live their life, even if it means making mistakes. Most of all, young people are selfish, and if you try to make it hard for her, she will not waste her time with this, and will move on. Then your son will blame you for losing his girlfriend.
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
23 Feb 10
i dont think you are seeing the real picture here but i can understand what you are saying. i tried having a conversation with her once after the child went to bed because if you read the whole thing you would see its impossible to talk in front of him,plus, she will drop any conversation you are having to pay attention to him if he does or says anything, she jumps. anyway, i talked to her a few minutes one night telling her i wanted this to work and what could i do? she just said lets forget it, i know you are trying, im very tired and need to go to bed
so, i gave up thinking its worked out, only to be talked bad about again to my son the very next day i just wish he would stop picking women that wants to run his life and see me as an object in the way.
@Hatley (163773)
• Garden Grove, California
27 Feb 10
hi bunnybon seems like all the other mylotters have given you all
the best advice so I can only say keep up that ask me do I care
attitude. you would think the girlfriend who has only seen him a little while would want to make a good impression on you but no she seems to me
to be a user and not a good bet for your son at all.I do hope I am wrong for your sake. And your daughter in Florida is so right. anyone who moves in to your home should be thinking to conform to your wishes not having you change a damned thing. the girlfriend to me sounds like an opportunist and thats not so good. Maybe your son should take some valuable time to think this all through before committing himself to anything. good luck bunny and God Bless,.
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
27 Feb 10
you are so right Hatley. ive told him the same thing many times over now. i dont know why he falls in "love" right away. i think he likes having a family anyway, hes been listening more this time.
@dawnald (85139)
• Shingle Springs, California
22 Feb 10
I'm glad you're feeling better. She does sound like a piece of work. I'm thinking, "she doesn't want to live here? Great, time for HER to go look for a place." Sheesh...
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
24 Feb 10
thats the thing. she DOES want to live here in AZ. im thinking shes useing my son to get away from the NY area. i didnt think that at first. thought she was on the up and up and really cared for him. now im wondering
in AZ. im thinking shes useing my son to get away from the NY area. i didnt think that at first. thought she was on the up and up and really cared for him. now im wondering
@jdyrj777 (6528)
• United States
21 Feb 10
Sounds to me like his gf is the one with the problem there. She just needs to get over herself. She must be selfish and wants your son to herself. Especially if the three of you are doing things together. She may feel as if she needs more alone time with your son. Your son may not see it because of coarse he wants to include you.
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
24 Feb 10
yes thats how they all feel. i dont know when hes going to realise this. anyway, he excepts her son. she of course considers that a package deal. like i told him, he needs to let his gf know its a package deal with us also.@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
25 Feb 10
very well. i told him he could call me grandma bon, but it was some of our problem. things she didnt want said in front of him. shes over protective. she told my son he talks about grandma bon all the time
could she be jealous of him also? 
@celticeagle (172508)
• Boise, Idaho
21 Feb 10
We all have our better days. I have sever depression. I get VERY low sometimes. If there was a way to leave and take my animals with me I would have found it and done it long ago. Life doesn't give you any promises. Things aren't always going to go right. The questiong is: What is best for you? Attitude is fine. That means you are alive and functioning. Moods are funny things. They come and they go. That is one thing that is really neat about life. As low as you can possibly be. LOW, lower, lowest! You will be up in a day or two and everything will be clear. Crying helps. And that 'ask me do I care' attitude is actually 'Ya, I really do care' in decise.
@celticeagle (172508)
• Boise, Idaho
23 Feb 10
Yes, a good cry does help. I am always here to listen.
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
22 Feb 10
when i mentioned ask me do i care, i was speaking of what i'll say to her if she asks me to refrain from anything i do or say any more. i was nice and really tried while she was here only to be told by son later that she didnt think i liked her.well, one way to get someone NOT to like you is by chastising them over everything i know you care sweetie and you are right. it comes and goes if you have a good cry it helps. also, talking with careing people like you1 person likes this
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
21 Feb 10
Hey bunny! I am so sorry that your son keeps doing this to you!
It is so not fair that he keeps finding these very "needy" women
and doesn't see it for what it is! He must be really blind to
these women! I feel so bad for you that he keeps sticking you
in the middle of all this sh1t! I think that your son is very
weak (no offense) and doesn't know what the hell he wants! He
seems like he once again is going from the frying pan into
the fire! I wish you were able to get him to open his eyes
before he makes another really major mistake! I think this woman
is no good for him, just like the last one! She has too many
issues and too much baggage! Why is he so damn needy? Why can't
he just find a woman to date that has her own life that doesn't
need someone to attach to? You have got to get it through to him
that this is another hugh mistake! Damn bunny, I wish I could
talk to him! I would set him straight in a NY minutes! I am
so sorry that you have to deal with this! If you need to talk
I am at opal2626@yahoo.com email there and we can talk in private!
I want to shake your son at this point! Love you honey, Leslie
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
22 Feb 10
well that post didnt go through..darn. as i tried to say in the other post, i think these women see this nurturing side to my son and like to "play" it as my wise daughter once said. Im doing much better now with the help of my great friends here. i will email you soonthanks Leslie
@glords (2614)
• United States
21 Feb 10
I'm sorry to hear about your bad situation. I'm happy that you have a daughter who can help you stay positive. She is right, there is no reason to feel depressed... whatever you do don't let those thoughts linger in your mind they are not healthy for anyone. It's too bad that your sons gf doesn't appreciate your relationship with your son, but don't let her actions cause a problem for you two. By removing herself from your sons life, she is only throwing away the opportunity to spend time with your son. She obviously doesn't value his time or his feelings very much if she isn't willing to embrace his other relationships with others. Perhaps she is hoping he will choose her over you... but in actuality she is the one making the choice and I'm sure your son will realize that she is only being selfish to require he leave no place in his life for his mother. She is crazy!
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
23 Feb 10
yes she is. and my son has already said he doesnt understand why a woman should think he shouldnt love his mother he says he tells them. he loves his mother and always will. im important to him
@Rhazelle (356)
• Canada
21 Feb 10
Well this woman just sounds CRAZY in all ways possible. Ugh. At least is sounds like it's been solved and going okay for now, so that's good.
Yeah if my son ever got a girlfriend like that I would just smack him over the head and disown him until he smartens up, but that's just me. ."" I also intend on a raising a child with 25% "fear of parents beating you up" in them so that I can always use that to get them to listen.
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
21 Feb 10
funny thing. i asked my son how he would feel if i brought a man into the house like that. he said when men have a problem they usually throw down on each other if it cant be solved by discussion. So, im like wtf you dont think i could whip her when i cant even vacuum without running out of breath??!! he said he knew that and didnt expect it. sometimes i wonder about his nutty thinking and wonder if he might be getting back at me for the "25% of fear' i used when he grew up??