Social Anxiety Disorder--More Than Just Shyness

Hi diamana :) I think we both have this disorder (Panic disorder/ anxiety disorder) though I am not diagnosed with it. Haha! But I have this unknown anxiety especially in public places. Yeah just like what you said, I agree that we should all face the things that scare us the most so and eventually those fears will die. In mjcookie's case, she's afraid of socializing probably of her own personal reasons.. but life's just like that..we have to face reality and work on ourselves to the standard that the society wants of us. Right now, I'm still struggling with this fear of riding public vehicles, but instead of riding on a private car with my mom I personally choose to ride public transports so that I'll become used to it ;) Thanks for this info diamana :) God bless!

Wow, and you're male.. Well I haven't seen any doctor yet, because like what I just said, we cannot afford it. I am thinking of free online therapy (I don't even know if there are many out there) though I know it's always better to be treated personally. What happens to me in awkward situations is my mind focuses on the stares and imaginary stares. I find it hard to deviate my attention to other things, and I don't know why. It's always at the back of my head! I usually go out alone and with no company so there's no one to keep my focus off myself. Thank you for your advice. I will try them.

@cecille Hey Cecille. Exposing yourself to that what you're afraid makes you confident that the situation you are in isn't as scary as it really is. The more positive experiences you have with that situation the easier it gets. Good of you that you're approaching your anxiety through practicing! If you keep up the good work you'll see that things get so much easier and life too! @mjcookie: Yeah I am male! In the exposure group I was in I was never with more than 1 other male. The others were females and I had to live with them 24/7! I did not fully understand your second paragraph. Do you start staring at one point the moment you get out? I have that too but only when I am overwhelmed by fear. My mind is then locked to one point and if I don't have my best female friend with me I can stare for over 30 minutes. She has that too but different from me she doesn't hear anything anymore during that period while I do hear everything.

Oh. I've read that this disorder is more common among boys than girls. His was extreme! And to think that both of you have it.. Yeah, stage fright and fear of social situations where you'd feel most likely humiliated or embarrassed. The disorder is genetic but traumatic/bad experiences can also cause it. How old was he when he got it? And how about you? I have always been shy even when I was young because I was really fat as a kid and people would call me names, but I think my S.A.D. developed during early adolescence. Traumatic childhood experiences really result in personality disorders and/or depression when you grow up. It really gets in the way. Your husband hiding behind his bandmate is odd. He would go great lengths to avoid people. Pretty much like Avoidance Personality Disorder. But it's a good thing that he still carried on playing for the band rather than not trying at all. I am sure you understand him when he doesn't take you out..

I'd say for my husband it was around the time that he started 1st grade, but he says that it more around Jr. high. I think that being in a school setting would call up more notice of who he was and being in a more concentrated group of people he was definitely noticed more. He said that as he got older he would skip school. He was a very intelligent child and when he was told that he would fail if he didn't come back to school, he would show up for a few weeks, catch up on what he'd missed, take the tests and then disappear again during the next quarter. He would pass all his tests every time. I did and I still understand why he doesn't like going to dinner. For me it was around 1st grade, but I remember before I started school my mother wouldn't let me out of my yard to play with the children up the street for whatever reasons that she had. I lived on a block that didn't have any other children to play with. We lived with my grandparents and my grandparents neighbors on both sides were retired people with no children and the occasional grandchild that came to visit. I guess I would have to say that my shyness was cultivated due to my circumstances. Oh and he wasn't hiding behind a bandmate. He hid behind his amp, the speaker that he used for his guitar and bass for. I on the other hand would have loved to hide behind anything on stage. I loved to song and I loved to sing in groups. That I could do, but if I had a solo to do, I remember starting to shake, sweat and looking for an escape route. I would just blank out. I'd get through the song like a pro but had no memory of it. When I had kids I had to get it under control because I didn't want my children to fear being in public. I encouraged my children to do things in school. My son had a speech impediment and was shy because of it, but there was this poetry reciting assembly that his class was doing. He wanted to do, "Backwards Bill" by Shel Silverstein. He did it and was so proud of himself. Ironically, the poem fit him to a T...lol My daughter has S.A.D. It didn't show up until her late teens, early twenties. She was waitressing and got an attack of anxiety out of the blue. She called me from work and was in tears. She didn't go back to waitressing at all after that. She's had trouble in college because of it and now says that she can't go back to school because she's a fraid that she will have another attack of anxiety. The one thing that I have noticed and I guess for my family and my husband and I when we were growing up, is that we all have realized that in order to become some sort of a functional person in society we had to adapt, to find a way to cope if we had to work and survive. We all find a place that we feel comfortable in or at. For ex., we all go back to the same places to play, work, go to the same church. I guess it's the surroundings and the people that we get use to. Doing something new or fearing the unknown is a big part of S.A.D., but it's how strong that survival in us is. I think my mother may have had it, but my husband really can't pinpoint anyone in his family that he can remember, that may have had it.

Oh sorry. I kinda overlooked the word "amp". Good thing you still carried on singing onstage. I remember totally crying and backing out from one impromptu speaking contest. I knew I could do it, but I was very afraid to be mentally blocked because of all the people. Just seeing the whole school watching scared the hell out of me. It was a bad feeling, feeling like you were a loser because you QUIT. Looks like you got a shy family. Your daughter reminds me of something I read in a social anxiety website. She was asking for help because she didn't wanna apply for a job anymore after her miserable experience in being a waitress. She had S.A.D., too.

It is something to be worried about, because it gets in the way of me doing things that I should be doing. I don't even have the courage to apply for another job for fear that people may not like me. It's really not ordinary. I did a little research about it, and I can say that I really have it. Anyway, I'll take your advice. Thanks a lot.

I feel sorry for you. That must have been really hard for you. People just cannot help but insult others like they have no flaws themselves. In my past job I wasn't picked on, but I felt like my coworkers didn't like me that much because they wouldn't start a conversation with me. Even if I talk to them they would feel intimidated. I felt like an alien in that workplace. One manager even told me that the reason was that I was too silent. It is sad that this situation can last a lifetime if left untreated. I even read about this old woman who's already 8 and she still has S.A.D. I know this has to be treated asap because I am already 18 and should be facing situations myself, such as applying for a job, which feels like so hard of a task for me, like it's gonna be the end of the world. Opal, thanks for your help!! I really appreciate it! I will contact you if I need help. Thank you again!

Oops, that was 58. 58 years old.

Hmmm.. Never heard of Seredyn, but I am more interested in professional treatment such as counseling. Anyway thanks for helping.