How to hold your guy's one attention for long?

India
February 21, 2010 11:01am CST
hey, I have been going out with my Bf for around 3 years now and we seems to have an on and off relationship. So Can you experienced girls/guys just tell me what are the tips to" hold a guy's attention long". Is it "play hard to get", act mysterious, fun loving, or not available all the time when they needs us......? I know" familiarity breeds contempt" So how do we hold our guy's attention without giving much away and feeling empty without them. Because whenever I am trying to avoid him, he will be all over to please me and when I try to show that i care, he just won't give a damn. He is emotionally very strong, never have I noticed even a crack or seen him vulnerable. So mylotters, tell me the secrets to keep a 'love' young, strong and effective even after all the initial sparkles have subsides. ( leaving the Se* part of course)
1 person likes this
11 responses
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
21 Feb 10
substance well I never had a boyfriend , I had a fiance then a husband but I would think in this modern age of not trust in any kind of committment if you mention lets get married that will get some attention for sure, one way or the other , either he will say wow thats a great idea or well its been nice knowing you but good bye. this new thing witth the revolving doors on couples ,and a woman who has four different boy friends, a child from each one, and somehow this is better than a marriage to one man and four kids from one man?this whole thing really baffles me, I read over and over even here in mylot my boy friend and I have been together eight years, and how do I keep his attention? I still stay mention marriage, that really will get his attention strongly one way or the other. be loving and teasing and be best friends, and get the heck married, its the best thing going really.
• India
21 Feb 10
yea!, Marriages is on the cards too but he wants to have a strong career before settling down and that is one reason why we meet only some 4-5 days a month and thats why I say its on and off. Not that we actually break off and patched up again. Its just that I want to held his attention for long. Hope we can work something out! Hadley! hope You are well!
21 Feb 10
I think a woman should wait for a man to mention marriage otherwise he may feel pressured and his reaction may make the women feel insecure. When if she had waited maybe he would of asked her sooner. Thats just my opinion.
21 Feb 10
4-5 days a month? do you live far away from each other?
@dorothy09 (1520)
• Philippines
22 Feb 10
hi substance, I've been steady with my boyfriend now for 7 years, we been thru many transgressions, quarrels, disagreemnts, disappointment etc etc. but inspite we still manage to be together because we love each other.. We end up like splitting for just one day and it only happen once. He is a strong guy,and I had to admit he is the one really handles our relationship with utmost importance and care. I usually was the one who really make a way inorder to have something to argueed LOL.that is the essence of relationship to argue and make peace. he is the one who always makes up things Okay. Well, secret for me is our Love and faithfulness. We enjoy each others company, we might have many differences but we still manage to enjoy. WE even have different likes..he is not my ideal guy indeed but I dont know why I say Yes LOL. Love is just magical You just know where it goes... Just take care of each other, respect each other, make your love one feel that he is special always. and show your love always. Goodluck!!!
@dorothy09 (1520)
• Philippines
22 Feb 10
hi there substance, im sorry to hear that, maybe you have not found the right guy for you. I am so thankful to our Dear God that even if I had nothing in life financially, justi in the middle class family, But I am blessed with great life because of my family and my partner.. Our new challenge now is, we will be longdistance soon, he will work in a shipping company base abroad. No matter how painful it is to be away from each other again, having a long distance relationship but it is a must. We have to move on to prepare for our future.. I hope and pray that everything is going well with us.. I also hope you will find the man who will love you with great respect,love, tender care. etc.. Ask our dear Lord and dont lose hope he will grant your prayers..like what I did. I ask this man even when I was still in elementary. :)
• India
22 Feb 10
I wish you all happiness in life. I had a bf like that who loved me to distraction and I left him for this present guy who is making me miserable. How funny can love be? He did promised me the moon when he was chasing me and I mistakingly thought that is for life and said yes. Now I have giving my heart and now that the chase is over, he doesn't give a damn maintaining it. He is more comfortable with guys and doesn't know how to be around girls. You know! He even told me once as a joke that "woman are only for reproduction"? I was shocked and he was laughing but he jokes a lot and maybe he was joking. He makes me absolutely miserable but I am not the kind to go from guys to guys. I had just 2 bf including him and when I said yes , I thought this is it for life.
@illfavors (590)
• United States
22 Feb 10
Be spontaneous. Do thing that he wouldn't expect you to do. Surprise him with small things and always keep the lines of communication open with you boyfriend.
@piya84 (2580)
• India
22 Feb 10
Nothing much.After three years you must know how to manage demand and supply.If you havent seen him emotionally vulnerable in last three years imo you are dealing with tuff nut.I have deal with same time in past and these guys are difficult species to handle.We need their support they show us they dont need us damn and sometime it is not something which makes up happy.
• India
22 Feb 10
This is the thing that bothers me. He is a tough nut. Once his late mum even said that he has got a stone heart, that is what he told me. Wow! he cares but he is so cold to anything i say except the career thing. He is never vulnerable and doesn't needs me in a sense. should i call it quits?
• United States
23 Feb 10
Substance; U said in a early response that, "he will make me miserable if we marry though, for sure." Now tell me again, WHY DO U WANT TO BE WITH HIM...? And that little bit of information about "His DADDY's Priorities" toward career FIRST doesn't bothers U??!
@lovagepp (17)
• China
22 Feb 10
Take a guide's heart is so difficult, the man is always like the new things.
@choybel (5042)
• Philippines
21 Feb 10
Love is a feeling that is earned but being in-love is a different thing. Now, if I'm not mistaken, what you are trying to ask is ways to make your man in-love with you all the time?Well, I don't know if that's possible but I'm sure he loves you, that's based on the length of your relationship plus the fact that you both have been on and off, meaning he wanted to make things right, that's assuming he was the one asking you back. Anyway, I think there's really no way for you to actually have all his attention for long because there will always be something else more important or more interesting every once in a while but how you deal with it will definitely count. You know your man more than anyone else I guess so it's still up to you on how you'd like him to be interested in you and your relationship every once in a while, but that's also a guy's job, it's a mutual relationship.
@meetvivek (226)
• India
21 Feb 10
I don't think there is any sureshot formula to keep each other's attention.If e have proper understanding between each other we can hold each other's attention without being in touch with each other.
• Philippines
22 Feb 10
Hi substance! I've been with my boyfriend for four years already, going on five this year :) and we're still going strong and in love ;) We do have our ups and downs and we worked out our misunderstandings and issues. We never let a misunderstanding unresolved, we talked about it. And we see each other only once or twice a week, so we have time for ourselves and that way, we'll miss each other. To get him always interested, try different things, not your usual routine. He may be bored if you're always doing the same things. For example, instead of always going to the mall, try an art museum or the park, the places you didn't usually go to. Or do things in his interest, like if he likes sports, invite him to watch a game or something. Another thing is talk to each other, share your deepest thoughts like your dreams, hopes and fears. That way, he'll understand you more and he will be encouraged to open up to you so that you could know what he really wants and feels. I hope this help. Good Luck! ;)
@Lata_45 (217)
• India
22 Feb 10
SURPRIZES this is the best thing to do to keep the love young be creative and gift him or do things that are bit different unsual and creative thus surprize him this will keep you both enjoying your relationship things such as writing poems, unsual dates in wierd places, to cook diff dishes and please him sometime surprizing him by visiting him where he will be happy and surprized just make him feel different and u too will enjoy
• Canada
22 Feb 10
Talk to him about something he is really into, like, his favourite video game or band