Do you ever feel like you have been spoken to badly,

Hi JJ, There are times I feel that my Son talks to me like a bit of dirt and even without thinking treats me that way, I am 54 not old and fairly active but not a well woman, yet neither deoes he want to see acknowledge it or speak about it, even when I am in pain..instead I get talked to as if I was 24-yet my mum he will go and help and always be there for her-yes am grateful for that but when will anyone be like that for me. Now I have just learnt to deal with the fact I have to do it on my own and walk away when talked to in ways I don't need.Thankfully I am not married-the moaning hubby is something I could never deal with! lol-loLo

my other half makes comments i don't like around my friends,but he would never speak to me like dirt when they were around,he knows i would find that completely unacceptable,and he also does'nt like other people knowing his buisness,,good on you for standing up for yourself,i know you couldn't do it in person as he was in bed,but a note is just as good,there are a lot of people that would just take that sort of treatment

Yes..a few times ...but I would usually avoid them at that time and get back to them later. My be the person was not in a good mood to talk or wanted some time alone.

For me you just let the angry past before you said with it's other because if that situation you've never say good for that problem.

It really hurts like hell, when someone who is supposed to love and respect you, treat you so badly. I hope that note made a difference. Otherwise you can get ready for world war 3. I personally will not tolreate something like that. Mine tried it once and that was the very last time. I am not your dog, your slave or your property, so mind your manners. TATA.

I have been insulted a few times by my husbands sisters. They don't seem aware that what is being said is insulting though. Recently we were meeting my two kids from the airport to fetch them home for the holiday,one of the sisters said she would go with us to show us the way in the airport as she uses it a lot. When we got to her house, the sister said,what are you doing here? cant (hubby) find the way on his own? I thought ouch ,that is like a slap in the face. Hubby says she was joking but it wasn't said in a joking way. Sometimes if a person is very rude, I think you have to say that you feel insulted but sometimes you can only be silent and let it flow over you. If I argue with my husband,I will tell him honestly how I feel and usually we resolve things quite amicably in the end.

If I am spoke to badly I avoid that person. So if Hubby didn't want to talk to me and went to bed. He would wake to a non speaking wife.When will I start talking to him?It depends on what was said and how angry or hurt it made me feel.I should never marry . One hurtful word and I would leave. He would wake up to an empty house.

Usually men want that we should attend to them first. Whether they give the same treatment to wife or not that is different issue. Quarrels and misunderstandings will spoil our peace of mind is it not? I feel we can stop talking over phone for a second, say to our hubby 'one minute', and then continue our phone call. Still, if he is angry, then try to explain after disconnecting the phone call. In spite of that if he is angry, then you should just leave it. He will realise later and come around.

I sometimes realize that I have spoken too badly. Sometimes I do that to my friend or my parents. But I let them know that I did not intend to do it and I say sorry after. I am just pushed by the problems and stress that is why all that comes from my mouth are all bad words. But I am not like that really. I was just pushed to say it, just to let the other people know that I am really angry.

I hope your note does hit home. I have had situations where I did very much feel that I was spoken to badly. It really depends on who says and what the content is/was as to how I respond. I tend to hold things in and try to find an appropriate time to bring things up. Or I used to. Anymore I don't care. It just gets said. I think life is short and some things just need to be said regardless. And I have never been good with being tactful.

Good for you. I don't think anybody has the right to talk to anybody else else "like a piece of dirt." Especially when they are people you love. In my opinion, people who love each other should show more respect and consideration than any outsider. Having said that, I believe that your idea of the note was 'strategically sound'. Much better than talking when you're angry, and making things worse. More power to you, jugsjugs!

Hi jugsjugs, what you face with your husband, is what I face with my father. He is not open to reasoning at all! It is very frustrating at times. I used to fight a lot earlier, because I had this office, and simply no patience with chores at home and this type of talk. Subsequently there were some revelations that made me think what the hell have I wasted my life after him for. Now my situation is I have no other relationship - love him hate him, I have only one piece. So I have chosen to adjust. But at times it can be very very annoying at times. He has this good impression about one of his relatives. I explain to him - look they are humiliating you like this - they dont value you and all that. At times he agrees, and even stands up for me against them, that is when I love him to extreme and feel like forgiving everything. At other times, he says I am wrong - and that anything I point out is unnecessary and petty. And that I might need my relatives as I am unmarried, so I should learn to adjust to them beating me, and them molesting me. It is very frustrating to adjust to this bipolar man. If I refuse to say yes, he stops taking medications. That is still worse! If anything happens his relatives will cascade down on me overnight! Law out here is not that strong. His relatives use every possible chance to defame me, because I am not willing to spare my hard earned and hard saved monies for them! What will you do is what they ask. They have never been there for me throughout my childhood, but are surprised I dont have any feelings for them! What do you do when such things happen. I tried writing and sending email to my father. It has not helped. Comparatively, your husband might be a reasonable man. He many not have his ego involved in decisions he takes as a man of the house. So writing might be just rubbing it in. :( I am not sure it will work for better.

hmm lack of respect for you is what is going on. You have not other to do then to stand your ground. Some men think they have the right to treat their women like dirt and the women who allow it loose. Well I hope it all works out for you.

Yes I have been talked down to by my relatives and for that reason I don't really speak or see them that much. I don't need to be around people that make me feel like a failure. Just the other day my friend was giving me a hard time right now I am out of a car. I have a job that starts at 6:00 in the morning. I work for a inventory company and I go all over. The buses don't normally run so right now I am worried about losing my job. My friend keeps acting like I don't like taking the bus. And that is not the issue I have no problem with the bus if it ran when I had to leave. Right now I don't feel like talking to him cause he really made me feel bad. I have enough stress right now and I don't need that stuff. I am not married so it is easier for me not to talk to someone for a few days when they insult me. I would imagine it would be tense in your home with your husband. Writing him a letter is great cause you can express yourself without getting insulted. Then he can read it when he is also in a calm manner. I hope things get better everyone deserves to be treated with respect.

There is no excuse for rudeness and speaking badly to someone is in my eyes, pure rudeness, plain and simple, we are all adults, if you have a problem with someone or a disagreement then to tackle it assertively or alternatively avoid that person if it's going to make things awkward or it turns into an all out battle. I had an instructor once who would speak to me badly, it got so bad that I tried to avoid him, those sort of people shouldn't be in a position such as teaching if they don't have people skills. Sometimes it's best to take time out and punch a pillow or give yourself some breathing space before it gets out of hand, it's very easy to retaliate with someone who speaks to you badly, trouble is once words are said they cannot be taken back. With a cooler head you can confront them or the matter in a calm manner.

nawwww never when I was on the phone with some one they dont want the person to hear it.

I think a note is a really good way of expressing yourself. It allows you to say what you want to say clearly, without getting distracted by emotions. I hope everything resolves itself.

I hope everything works out between you and your husband. These things happen every now and then, especially between family members, don't they? Yes, there have been plenty of times when I felt like I might have said something I shouldn't have said. I always apologize right away, in this case. A lot of times, the person didn't take it the way I thought they did and I'm glad they weren't hurt at least. Kathy.

First of all it is very rude to talk to someone that is on the phone. I have a friends that do that and carry on a discussion with someone in the house like I am not even on the line. I hate that, and I feel like "why even bother". When you did get off the phone and argued it was probably good that your husband went to bed and you wrote him a note. In the heat of the argument a lot of times we say something we regret later. My ex used to leave when we had a fight and that was very frustrating because I wanted to fight. I never thought of writting him a note. That way I could still say what I wanted to and not have to deal with the frustration.

I just keep my first conversation rather than trying to satisfy the other one.I think we should respect others when they are having talks with other people.