Do you find that no matter how much money you give someone

I guess you are right that money is not the measure of things that will appreciate you. But of course if the person really needs it then you should also support them still. Money can help many things but then feeding them with it would not help them grow as well you should balance things.

Yes, and that is what is expected in any case. Barring a few, most people who ask for money, do it out of habit. They can give you a thousand excuses but if you really feel like going thru their lives, you’ll see that in identical situations you’d have found ways of working more and somehow managing to earn that money but these people will just use these impediments as an excuse to ask for money … so naturally they can never take a NO…no matter how much you’ve given them in the past, no matter what your personal troubles are, no matter how much more you need the money for other better purpose…they always feel slighted when you refuse them money. AND forget about appreciation… people who will appreciate and acknowledge your help will never come back for more…as for the others, they’ll never remember the times you helped them with money but will always cite the one instance when you refused them to show to the world how mean you are (at least, this has been my personal experience so far)

Yes I do know, my Ex Husband did not care where the Money came from if he wanted to go out that is one of the reasons I was forced to work as his Social Life was very important to him

I do agree with that. That kinda applies to giving alms where the most common form of help given would be cash. I was okay with the thought of helping out with the little coins that I had left from my allowance but as time went on I just stopped giving cash. There are just those people who make a living out of begging. Those are the ones that would beg rather than find a decent job and earn a living. They find begging easier. They also develop the habit of asking from those people who have given them once. I mean they would go back to you again and again asking for more cash and when you dont give them anymore they have the attitude of being angry with you. So with that I have learned to give my bit of help in other ways. That's just me anyways.^_^

if anyone comes to me asking for help, i am very much happy to help them. if it's money, then i will help them if only i have enough to share with them. but i will not force myself to help anyone and give money if i am also helpless.

Jugjugs, you have a great heart. I call your situation, the "person who cried wolf." Many people borrow or ask for money when they don't need it as badly as they thought. They don't pay it back. When something major happens and they really need the money, then their pleas fall on deaf ears. I have seen both ends. I saw people who borrowed from my grandmother and never paid it back. My mother did that, sometimes gambled and my grandmother paid the debts. I am like my grandmother, I will give and loan money. But my situation is dire and over the years I've had to borrow from family members. I want to pay it back but can't. Now I wouldn't dare ask a family member for money in spite of my circumstances because they are fed up with me too. As someone said earlier on these posts, I put myself in the situation I'm in. And I know from experience that working minimum wage will not be the way to pay them back. My sisters and brother were raised by my mother and they are like her: they don't pay back loans and they don't loan money. Yet, if they got in real bad shape, I would do like my grandmother and help them. I have an aunt who has lots of money and over the years I borrowed up to $1,000 from her. I have been able to pay her $100 but don't see anything else happening soon. She is very Christian and I could ask her for something and believe me she would help, but I won't. I do need something (thanks to the company fighting to keep from paying me any more unemployment) but am trying to dig my way from under this mess. Times are indeed rough for many of us. But don't let the "boy who cried wolf" change you. I say, do what your heart tells you to do, but look out for yourself too, if you're family won't.

Yes I have noticed that. Sadly it always seems to be from family members! Now my family knows never to ask me for money regardless of the reason they need it for. I suffer from having helped them too often without being paid back.

Yes I know exactly what you mean. I've had an experience that perfectly explained the quote "Beggars can't be choosers". I had just left a concert in the Detroit area and there was a bunch of homeless people there waiting for the people to come out of the concert. I saw a man with no legs in a wheelchair and gave him 10 dollars. After that I was literally chased down by one of the homeless men. He kept calling after me and wasn't going to stop until he got some money out of me. It was basically verbal stealing. Then when I gave him a couple of bucks he was like "Come on give 10, give me 5 come on come on". It was ridiculous and made we wonder if he was actually homeless or just trying to take advantage of the people like me who happened to be nice enough to have the mercy to give to people when they beg for help. It's shameless how people take care of mercy that is a big part of why the world is as bad as it is today.

I'm in the same boat as you. I have not worked for over a year now but I have money from a house that I sold three years back. So people are always asking me to "borrow" money left and right. I wonder what all of them would do if I didn't have this money. They all don't realize that the money is not going to last forever and then what will happen. I only buy the necessary things that I need like food for myself. I don't spend anything else because I'm afraid one day I will not have anything. Its really agravating. I just can't wait to sell this house and move away from everyone. That will bet the best thing to happen for me. The next person who asks for money will be getting a big "NO" from me, because I can't take it. I feel I'm not appreciated it and just being used.

I don't blame you for feeling that way especially if they don't even try to pay you back in one way or another. I have a friend who is always there when we need a little help and I make every effort to pay him back, plus when he needs a friend we are there for him. He's like our guardian angel and we love him dearly. If you don't get the same love in return for your kindness, then I would say no more money as well. Good luck and God bless you!

Wow, I don't know how I managed to miss this discussion in the first place because this is something that is really interesting to me. So, my answer to this question is that yes, I do find this to be the case. When I was younger I tried to financially support the world and I found that everyone kept asking more and more of me. So, it was during that period of time in my life that I discovered that there was no benefit at all to giving money to other people. I won't do it at all anymore unless I am trying to do something that helps a member of my family.

I try to give my family money whenever they need it. Other than family I do not lend money to anyone else. I am sorry that you have to go without things in order to help others. I am sure that is hard on you.

Well it does, It is really matter.I am concerned of where to spend the money or for,as well as the amount of money that I will going to give. I am not that rich to just give the money, I think all money is worth and spending it with nonsense reasons is a big mistake.

Some people are made that way, when you give them a hand they take the whole arm. I have been in similar situations before: it's never enough, they get used to it and try to take advantage of you without thinking about your problems for a second. I have a new policy now: no more! I think that is the best way. If you help someone (financially) they better show you that help was not for nothing, it should be just a push, a help and they should use it to get things straight ... if one day they come and offer you that money back you'll know you did the right thing. That happens very rarely though ... unfortunatelly.

I think giving money to people is a tricky business. Probably more friendships are destroyed by generosity that by stinginess. Sometimes when you give or lend people money they actually avoid you because they feel beholden. At least they fell the friendship is no longer on equal basis. Also, your right, some people just think you ar a bank. I have one friend that I can borrow money from and pay back when I'm able without jeopardising the friendship. He and I have borrowed back and forth many times and it always works. But I don't think I'd be able to do it with anybody else.

i have noted that the people you help...become used to it and they think that we grow money on trees....it has happened with me and my hubby..some of our relatives think that we are the donors of money to all in need and also without need...if anyone will ask we are always ready to give them...but this habit becomes painful after some days...and then the relations get worsened...

yup.around here it's called the utilities. they get all my money before anybody could even think of asking me for some.

Yes it happens sometimes, when we give money to someone.They should take it and then return it back to us.They should not ask for more money and make us bankrupt.When we give once,we should remind the person to give the money back.Then we can give him more help in the future if he wants.Even we too have a future to look at, so using money in a right way is very important for us.

i've always been doubtful of people who borrow money as i've seen my parents, we live in the philippines, get on without borrowing any. we're 5 children with only my father working abroad so we really have to scrimp enough to be able to buy 3 lots and put a house in one of them by selling the two lots. we've always gotten by christmases, new year's, birthdays and other special occasions with only home cooked spaghetti. now that am a parent myself i see that there is no need to be extravagant and money, once received from hard work still, entails responsibility to give it to. some of it needs to be put aside to grow. also we all have to be responsible in spending in that we have to have a social conscience that even if we spend on extra items we are still able to give some to those who need it specially blood relatives.

Money is not the primary need for my life. Therefore, if I ever have surplus money there is no matter in giving to my near and ear ones. But I make sure that the person is really in need and can't run without the help. After all money can be earned day by day and as long as the jobs are there in our lives.