Do you have a teenage son?

One thing I feel important about parenting is that we should remember that each child is also an individual, meaning they will always want to do some things which we as parents will not like or approve of. As they shape up as adults, they will have their own likings and dislikings and we cant always impose our views on them. Secondly, kids deserve and expect as much respect as we expect from them. So whenever there is any difference of opinion, talking is the best option. Also give you son some freedom…he needs it in order to grow up as a well-balanced adult. Allow him to make mistakes…that’s the only way he’ll ever learn what to avoid and what not to do…BUT be there for him when he suffers the consequences. The knowledge that momma / daddy / parents are always there for me no matter what soup I am in…is a source of great strength for growing kids. Also, share your problems with him…make him feel important, invite his suggestions…I’m sure these will make some difference at least.

Hi carrine, i have a teenage son too and i know sometimes it's really a challenging task in handling them. As for me I try to listen to them and understand their problems and together we try to solve them. You have to be firm yet gentle, try not to become too possesive, be there when they need us, be a parent as well as friend and also don't always give them what they demand, let them know the value of money and how hard it is to earn. If you do the above mentioned, in my opinion everything will work out right. Hope that my response will be useful to you. Thank you.

I don't have but I encounter a lot of situation like that when I was teaching in the Philippines. Best thing to do is to talk and spend quality time with your son, know his friends and you have to know his interests. Set rules and be consistent to your words and listen to him why he wants to repeatedly do the things that you do not want.... From experience is all about time quality and consistency as well as proper sanctions( not physical though)!

I have two teenage sons who are grown up adults now in their 28 and 25 years respectively. Thanks God, I didn't face much problem bringing them up as they were obedient sons. Not to brag but yes they don't go disco during weekends like most teenagers do and they listened to my commands. I think they grew up in a village far from bad influences. Moreover I send them to Sunday schools which help a lot in instilling in them good moral behavior and are God fearing. At the same instance, I enroll them in Boy's scout movements which are highly discipline organisation for boys. That helped a lot in molding their characters. Parenting is a difficult job especially being a single parent. I think you need immediate family to give some advices to him. Don't let him mix around with the wrong crowd.

Most boys are rebellious at this stage of their life.. Being his mom or parent, u cant really control him too much.. Give him some of the freedom he needs, and he will listen to u.. The more u try to constrain him, the more he will wanna do things to upset u, so that he get his ways.. Set him free occasionally, and once he's bored of it, he will start behaving again ^_^

I don't have a teenage son, but better than that, I was one. My parents always made it clear... "no matter what you do, don't do it behind our backs". I was punished more times because my parents thought I was lying and no matter what I did wrong, as long as I was honest about it, they didn't punish me, they made me think about what I had done, knowing I was smart enough to figure it out. Backing a teen into a corner could lead to a rebellious attitude. Trusting them is a great way to earn their trust. Once you earn their trust, the discipline should come as second nature. I'm no expert, but isn't experience the best teacher?

carrine, I think you need to remember that instead of mopping away and feeling doubtful if you have been a mother or not, you should put that feeling aside and remember that you have a relationship to build with your son. Before you start feeling mushy again, let me assure you that your son is feeling no less that you are a great and fantastic mother! In case you forget that, please look and reflect back at the years you have taken and done to bring him up to his height you are looking at. And, take my words here that I am referring more than his physical height. I hope that you remember that parenting is not an errand or a chore but a responsibility to build a Relationship. So to be fair to all teenagers including mine, that they (including your precious) will always take their parents (including super mom like you) as their biggest influence on their right and wrong behavior. And the last thing they need from us will be a paranoia suspicious and distrusting adult who behaves like an overgrown teenager. I remember being a teenager myself where I actually want my parents to think well of me, trust me, respect me and honor me. Sounds familiar? Isn't that what we were when we were young and at their age? How we could tell the truth in as much as a hundred ways to as much as thousands of people around us? Such energy and capability - that's us, once upon a time. Let me be brutally honest here, like all relationship we all need to COMMUNICATE and as always we will always feel innate or short or ever so at a lost but here's the thing, I do not think you will ever know if we do not take the first step forward. Please remember that your child should be able to understand your feelings associated with trusting them. Talking to them regularly about your concerns regarding grades, activities, friends, social situations, and potential pitfalls lets them know where you stand and why. It helps them to adjust to the world around them that is bigger than they are but feel obligated to fill. It’s just as terrifying to be a teenager running amok in the world as it is to be a parent of a teenager running amok in the world. About talking, I hope that you would work and prepare yourself for this thing called the "UGLY" truth. I hope that you would recall the times where you have all the words stuck in your mouth and just cannot get it out of your system. So, you need to express to your teenager when extending him the trust that he needed, is that you require the ugly truth. You need to let him to know that you can survive the ugly truth and so can he, so can his "mother and son" relationship, and so can his potential for freedom. And on your part, you have to assure him that, had he the guts to let you in on these "ugly truths", there will always be room in that it will be helping him make better decisions and learn that not all the people out there especially his mother, will be yanking his rug out from under him. Because, if you respond to his ugly truths with chronic punishment, why on earth should he continue to tell you? Studies have revealed that teenagers who feel resented by their parents are twice as likely to experiment with behaviors that could bring us to that ugly closet and dirty laundry issue. But, is this and all that you are aware and have experienced going to deter and scare you? Remember, you will need to accept and know that NOT all behaviors should or could result in a loss of trust. Having walked this long road, I am sure you would already have worked up a voracious appetite for all these. Carrine, it's your time and show now, just don't be so overly concern about the outcome or the small losses. Sometimes we need to loose certain battles in life to win the war. You are doing a good job and let no one say otherwise, here. Take care and have a nice day.