Do you sometimes take an instant dislike to someone?
By liquorice
@liquorice (3887)
February 24, 2010 7:32am CST
I don't usually do this, but I did with a particular acquaintance I met recently, and I shocked myself. (Actually feel a bit bad for posting this, I'm a mean mean person..
) - but need to get it off my chest!
Well, my first impression of this young lady was that she looked a bit false. Very blond, a fair bit of make-up, kind of OTT clothing for the particular occasion, and not very natural looking. Then I found out that she works for a well-known designer fashion house. Rather tactlessly I suppose I told her that I'm not at all into designer clothes. That I don't see the point of them, and that I see clothes more as purposeful things; keep you warm and stop you being naked. Well she was very polite, but was probably thinking that I was a badly dressed oik (/hick?), (or something worse.. 
lol!
Although she had a very friendly manner, it was like she gushed friendliness and over-enthusiasm. Found her a bit exhausting really. So I came away with a bad impression, but felt a bit bad, after all I had judged her on her appearance amongst other things, she was probably a lovely person. Hearing later from her in-laws that she is spoilt, demanding and rude made me feel a bit better, as my first impression of her was maybe quite accurate.. But still, I do normally try to not be judgemental, and I had failed. :(
Do you judge people as soon as you meet them? Or do you try to see the best in people? Have your (negative) first impressions of people proved to be right or wrong?
) - but need to get it off my chest!
Well, my first impression of this young lady was that she looked a bit false. Very blond, a fair bit of make-up, kind of OTT clothing for the particular occasion, and not very natural looking. Then I found out that she works for a well-known designer fashion house. Rather tactlessly I suppose I told her that I'm not at all into designer clothes. That I don't see the point of them, and that I see clothes more as purposeful things; keep you warm and stop you being naked. Well she was very polite, but was probably thinking that I was a badly dressed oik (/hick?), (or something worse.. lol!
Although she had a very friendly manner, it was like she gushed friendliness and over-enthusiasm. Found her a bit exhausting really. So I came away with a bad impression, but felt a bit bad, after all I had judged her on her appearance amongst other things, she was probably a lovely person. Hearing later from her in-laws that she is spoilt, demanding and rude made me feel a bit better, as my first impression of her was maybe quite accurate.. But still, I do normally try to not be judgemental, and I had failed. :(
Do you judge people as soon as you meet them? Or do you try to see the best in people? Have your (negative) first impressions of people proved to be right or wrong?6 people like this
18 responses
@recycledgoth (9894)
•
24 Feb 10
I try not to judge people on first impressions, and hope that people don't judge me on their first impression either. Many years ago I received a cheque for a sizeable sum of money and went to the bank to pay it into my account. At the time I was wearing paint spattered jeans and t shirt, my hair was a mess and I didn't look particularly clean, tidy or respectable. The cashier in the bank was extremely rude to me when I asked to see the manager, seeing me as a disreputable type. Boy was she surprised when, after speaking to the manager briefly, she took my cheque and realised that it was for a large sum on money. Don't judge on first impressions :-D
2 people like this
@liquorice (3887)
•
25 Feb 10
Thanks recycled goth for letting me see this from the other side! That's a great example of why we should try hard not to judge people on first impressions. You were treated very unfairly, and the cashier should have been reprimanded for her behaviour. I'm sure I've made some first impressions in my time that I'd actually rather people forgot..
@p1kef1sh (45681)
•
24 Feb 10
I remember several years ago helping to run a training course for the spouses of our employees. One woman, late twenties, skirt like a belt, legs up to THERE, stilettos, bottle blonde and an East End accent came and asked where she should sit. We all jumped to the perhaps obvious conclusions. As the day progressed it became very clear to us all that this woman was far and away the brightest student and was throwing sensible, well considered questions our way. HOWEVER, there are some people who wear a designer label and that is the beginning and end of their sophistication. Perhaps your young lady is one of those. First impressions are sometimes very wrong and can be spot on too.
1 person likes this
@liquorice (3887)
•
24 Feb 10
Yes, first impressions can sometimes be misleading! Your experience with the lady at the course reminds me of the film "legally blond", where Reese Witherspoon plays a ditzy blond, who turns out to be a very bright law student indeed and then manages to solve the court case and save the day.
Actually I think the girl I met is probably quite bright herself. I think she holds quite a high position in her company and works hard. I suppose our ideals kind of clashed, and I judged her on what she seemed to think was important!
Yes, worshipping designer labels is sometimes all some people care about. And the media probably makes us associate this with people being a bit thick (maybe?). I think I'm actually a bit prejudice against people who do have these kind of expensive tastes. Probably because there are so many much more worthwhile things to spend money on.
Actually I think the girl I met is probably quite bright herself. I think she holds quite a high position in her company and works hard. I suppose our ideals kind of clashed, and I judged her on what she seemed to think was important!
Yes, worshipping designer labels is sometimes all some people care about. And the media probably makes us associate this with people being a bit thick (maybe?). I think I'm actually a bit prejudice against people who do have these kind of expensive tastes. Probably because there are so many much more worthwhile things to spend money on.@liquorice (3887)
•
25 Feb 10
Yes, I'm really the best person to ask! 
If that were all true then my first impressions of you would have been rather inaccurate.. Well, I've been wrong before..
@ronaldinu (12422)
• Malta
24 Feb 10
Usually first impressions count a lot. Even if there is a saying that you should not judge a book by its cover. I know I should not judge people by first impressions but usually if I don't like a person on the first encounter, I just shut him or her up from my life. I just keep him or her on the peripheral and try to be nice to them but without being too friendly.
1 person likes this
@liquorice (3887)
•
25 Feb 10
Yes, I agree. Thinking back I think that my first impressions of people have generally been quite accurate, but that's not to say that they are all of the time. I felt that what I heard about this lady tallied with my negative first impressions of her, but if I'd really got to know I might have been pleasantly surprised. I agree that there's no point pretending to be friendly with somebody you don't like. I think that's something that we learn with experience. Thanks for your answer.
@liquorice (3887)
•
24 Feb 10
Yep, that's fair enough. Better to stay away than have false friendship.
Thanks for your answer.
@homeshoppers (6166)
• Philippines
24 Feb 10
i instantly dislike a person with bad attitude. those people who think they are more smart than anyone in the room. someone who didnt accept apologies and they only think of what they feel, or people who only think of themselves and dont care if they hurt someone.
1 person likes this
@liquorice (3887)
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25 Feb 10
Yes, I suppose that a person's attitude says a lot about them. I agree that the qualities you've listed don't make a very likeable person. Thanks for your answer.
@rosegardens (3034)
• United States
24 Feb 10
I do tend to judge people by first impression and unfortunately my gut is more accurate than my mind. If I had paid attention and trusted my first impressions of many people in my life, I may not have ended up in the troubles they caused for me.
I do believe at times our feelings of others may be right on cue, because they may end up hurting us badly. I think you may be more upset if you allowed some sort of friendship between yourself and someone you have an immediate ill feeling toward; they would be in position to harm you and more than likely will.
1 person likes this
@liquorice (3887)
•
25 Feb 10
Yes, I suppose we can't help judging people to some extent on our first impressions of them, it's all we've got to go by when we first meet them. It's useful that you can trust your gut on this one, but sounds like you wished you'd realised that a bit sooner. I agree that forcing a friendship with someone you have a bad feeling about would be bad, but occasionally people who gave a bad first impression have pleasantly surprised me, so I'm not sure how accurate my gut is!
@rosegardens (3034)
• United States
25 Feb 10
It is good to know you have been wrong about people with your first bad impression of them. I don't know that has EVER happened to me.
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
25 Feb 10
Sometimes I do too.. like in your situation there. Although I try my best to give benefit of the doubt, LOL... can't help it. And like you too, sometimes if not most times, the persons live up to what I thought in the first impression. And too bad, because I was hoping that I was totally wrong.. 
the persons live up to what I thought in the first impression. And too bad, because I was hoping that I was totally wrong.. 1 person likes this
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
24 Feb 10
i have before.. whats funny was there were 2 best friends in my past that at first meeting i did not like them for some reason but figured i was being shallow and made a point to talk to them later then we became best friends JUST to be screwed over by them later.. i think we need to stick with our first impressions.. or at least i do since i have had such a history with ignoring them just to realize i shouldnt have.. i know some people judge me (if i go out i like to dress up but i am not one to like to be covered head to toe so i usually prob come off as um s!utty) but i dont care because anyone that is worth anything to me knows me and knows im not.. i dont like to be judgmental but i think some times you cant help it and some times there is a good reason for it
1 person likes this
@parthu28 (498)
• India
24 Feb 10
hey there...
i totally agree with you.
not very recently but a similar kind of a thing happened to me too.
there was this friend of mine whom i thought to be a bit too sweet on the face n very false n cunning at heart when i first met her......
but since she was one of the gang i had to put up with her....
just like you,i made it very obvious to everybody that i disliked this person.
at a very later stage i was proved to be right.
i know how it feels.
but sometimes i feel, that our intuition just tell us,so that we can take precautions.....
1 person likes this
@neelianoscet (9615)
• Philippines
24 Feb 10
I really have not try to attack or hate a person directly maybe in my own mind it is being reserved though I may dislike i never show it to the person. it is only a feeling as long as they never do direct damage to me i would just ignore my feeling. i am like when they treat me good I would be so nice too but it would be reverse once they treat me bad so i am also bad with them. But it is out of my book to retaliate and just ignore them totally continue my way rather than let the nasty people affect my self respect. i just ignore them at all and never mind whatever they say or criticize as long as I know I am right i would stand on my belief.
1 person likes this
@arystine (1273)
• Philippines
25 Feb 10
Hi liquorice. I'm not a judgmental person. But I do experience that "instant dislike" for someone I have just met. I can't explain it. Sometimes, I just don't like the person for no reason at all. But I try to overcome that feeling. Sometimes I'm wrong. Some of my closest and best friends are those whom I don't like at first. But sometimes, my intuitions are correct. There are those whose attitude is really baaad, that I feel that I'm right all along not to like them. I also don't like people who are overly friendly. For me, they're not sincere at all.
1 person likes this
@nangisha (3496)
• Indonesia
25 Feb 10
yap but first impression often wrong but sometime its correct. when I meet this person for the first time i don't like her, but when i know this person she is the most warm and genuine person in the world. In the other hand i meet other person and i dont like her either and my feeling is true, when I know her more, she is hypocrit and fast judger, having problem with all member of his family and no one like her in work.
1 person likes this
@guitstef71 (4)
• Canada
25 Feb 10
Yes I defitely get a feeling about someone, though i always give them a chance to prove me wrong. Except in those situations where it isn't difficult to see someone is an jerk. i don't think it is a matter of judgement so much as there are those we cick with and those we don't and upon first meeting you can usually tell if you would b comfortable chillin' with any given person. Thats my take on hat one.
1 person likes this
@warmweatherwoman (2233)
• Atlantic City, New Jersey
24 Feb 10
Yes- most of my friends will tell you if asked that I remind them of Caroline from the Real Housewives of New Jersey. In one episode a line was used describing Caroline that I had to laugh at because I say the same thing ALL the time. The line was Caroline DON'T like you before she DOES! Yup that is me all the way- I have to feel you out- so I don't like you- until you give me a good reason too.
Now with that being said I want to make it clear that I am a very private and personal person most of the time. So usually I am not looking to make new face to face friends. I have my close knit friendships and I do not have a need for anymore at this time. Plus I am very guarded when it comes to strangers- I like to find out their ulterior motives first- because EVERYONE has an agenda.
1 person likes this
@zzyw87 (1254)
• Philippines
25 Feb 10
I am guilty of judging people based on first impressions. I cannot help it. The good thing is that my first impressions of them are usually right. I know I am right because I hear it from others. Sometimes people just strike me the wrong way. My gut instinct is usually right. But I always try to prove myself wrong. Usually, I am not wrong. Haha.
@Ingkingderders (3832)
• Philippines
25 Feb 10
I honestly do judge people the first time I see them. I think it's just natural that you look at the person and you measure them, based on how they look, how they walk, how they carry themselves. I do have a lot of first impressions that are wrong. Hehehe. Though some are exactly right. There are just some people who are ugly inside and out.
@namiya (1718)
• Philippines
24 Feb 10
There are times that I really can't avoid it. I'm easily peeved by inconsiderate persons and those who take advantage of other people's ignorance or lack of sufficient knowledge for a particular subject, situation or whatever it is. Whenever i meet someone who displayed the above characters, I honestly can't help feeling instant dislike for this person though I know that there's also a possibility that I may misjudged him.
1 person likes this
