Anger Management

hi dawnald I had one friend who tried to cure her battering husband by sending him to anger management. He went for awhile then I received a phone call from her mom, he had come home from the class, been very charming, then his wife said something and wham He was furious. He beat her so badly for several days they were afraid she was not going to make it. Internal injuries, broken arms, broken ribs, and this right after he left the anger management class. It evidently did not work with him.

ok Dawn...I've been summoned over here by a dear friend of ours cause of anger issues. What most of my friends from mylot AND FB DON'T know about me is I have MAJOR ANGER ISSUES stemming from my childhood and it carried into adulthood. This very issue almost cost me my marriage of 13yrs. at the time AND my daughter. It took my blind raging anger and almost blinding my own daughter with a stick I threw at her for not listening to me to finally come to terms with my anger issues and seek the help I needed. DCFS was called on me but being I was finally ready to deal with my anger issues, they didn't take her away from me. I passed the class with flying colors. Anger Management classes do help IF the person who has the problem KNOWS it's a problem to WANT to go through the classes and LEARN from them. I won't go into detail what all happened in the classes I took but one thing that really stuck out in my mind and I still live by this phrase today... YOU CAN'T SOLVE A PROBLEM WITH THE SAME MIND THAT CREATED IT...IF SOMEONE OR SOMETHING ANGERS YOU...LET IT GO!!!! In otherwords, step away from the situation long enough to get yourself back in control and think of another way to deal with the problem BEFORE heading back in and dealing with it. BUT...you have to make sure you get a really good instructor or it will end up being a waste of time and money.ALSO..it would be a VERY good idea if you went with him to each and every class because it could also help you learn how to deal with his anger issues. I had an AWESOME instructor who was very patient with me and my issues. This song is what I used to teach my own 11yr. old daughter how to just let the kids cruel words fly right past her and will give you and hubby an idea of what he will expect from the classes... Montgomery Gentry - What Do Ya Think About That http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJixs2FoZ_Y Any more questions..I'm here for ya, Dawn.

No Dawn I have never experienced anything like that but again it takes a lot for me to loose it and get angry I have heard of People that have had it and they said it did help them

anger management? well, just when wifey starts to raise her voice, i keep silent so as to keep her stop talking too much. once no one responded to her ratatatat voice, she will get tired and stop.

I read your post, dawn, and read the answers (even the funny ones although I don´t think this is funny). Then I went to check online and found interesting readings in Wikipedia. I have seem that it is more difficult for men to accept ther emotional problems than for us. My eldest daughter finally got a divorce in spite of her having a very nice husband. But he just would not accept they had any problems, got vary mad the couple of times they tried counseling and my daughter told "someone else" things that were "intimate". But, how could they be helped if they both said everything was fine? What I read at the wikipedia is something that maybe you can print, chose a right moment and talk it over slowly, point by point. Probably it would be a good idea to make two copies and give the first reading in silence. Some things have to be chewed by oneself to know what to expect of the conversation and see what is the point each of you want to start with. I hope this helps.

Nice discussion Dawn. Out here, we dont really have access to such things. :) But as I mentioned under Opal's box, I do have issues which annoy me too much. I realize as well why such things come up. But I am not able to be mature enough to smile it off, or ignore it. :( My way of tackling anger is to avoid people who annoy me, if I can. If not, at times there are show downs. I accept them as normal - forgive myself as somebody who has been through too much because of loved ones. I do have my round of explanations - I hit back telling the loved ones how much I'd put up because of them.:) But other than that, I feel fairly in control of my emotions now - irritants having been put in their place. Not the best way, but a way. :)

I have been to Anger Management, and I highly recommend it for people who have a lot of anger issues, and believe me, I know many people who do have anger issues. It is not a waste of time because it teaches people how to calm down and how to manage their anger. Another thing I suggest is stress management. Many people could use this in their life because many people do not know how to deal with stress.

I do not have any experience here. I have known people who have needed it, and who have been abusive. I am sometimes angry. Some people feel like I am too harsh sounding at times, and I am aware of that. Right now I am not particularly angry, sometimes I am angry when I am tired and overstressed. I have not taken any classes. From what you say though, family counseling might be in order in addition to anger management for the dearly beloved. Some people cannot manage to feel loved, or accept the love even when it is there. That sounds more like depression than anything. I hope things do work out to preserve your family, because there is a lot of hurt that I hear going on there.

I have read some tips about anger management and i try to practise them out when I am in this mood. I try to count to ten before I speak or take any action. If I am really pissed off I usually go out for a walk and fresh air. Usually this clears my mind and cools off my anger. So I find these methods that work for me when I am angry.

Sometimes, I wish that I can enroll myself in an anger management class and be able to experience it. I think there might be some classes in 2010, LOL... Or maybe you can help to teach those interested online, Dawny? .. just kidding. I've never been on one, but am really curious. I've seen how classes are conducted on TV shows before, and it's like a support group and the trainer will focus on individual anger and advice accordingly. Something like that.. I think different trainers have different approaches on how to go about the lessons.

ive taken it for like 4 yrs, it works only if you are honest and put 100% into it, and it will work for you. when i fist went i wasnt honest or open up, once i did it did work wonders for me. it teach you how to handle your anger, and what to do when you begin to angey

I am on it as always I try to control my temper but no matter I become so silent and the person whom i have argument keep yelling it becomes so uncontrollable that even I keep a distance it may force me to retaliate which i do not like to happen since some words just comes out of control then after all the heat subsides it is then one could realize one have hurt each other egos. It helps since it is not right all the time to bottled up one feeling since it have somehow an effect to the heart so it sometimes help to let go of anger but in a subtle manner as long as it never physically hurt the person whom one have develop quarrel. I consider it is a waste of time when it affect productivity that because of arguments they make the situation as the cause of their absences to work and result to neglect of their other commitment.

anger management, as far as i know, is a spinoff of the broader discipline called crisis management. the methodology is basically the same -- identify the source of the anger or crisis and it is also important to know what triggered the anger. you see, the trigger and the source of anger are different. sometimes, those who are not very careful tend to identify one as the other and vice versa. there are parameters though to test which is which, because mistakes in this initial step is crucial to the whole process. after that, there are calming tools... deep breathing, others use a certain type of yoga exercise... others, just need some listening, while others need some intervention/s like medication to calm the flayed nerves... it's really a long process... and it varies from person to person and degrees of anger, types of trigger, and source or cause of anger...

Hi, My partner went through anger management, not through choice, he got sent there because of what he did to me, without going into detail, he was arrested among other things one of his court orders was anger management. I found this to be very affective, since having his anger management he has not lost his temper to that degree since, don't get me wrong he still gets angry but he's learnt to control it more! A few things he learnt was to count to aq number before reacting, if at that point he still feels he's going to lose it, he needs to stay calm and tell me, I'm getting anfry now and I'm going to leave the house for a bit to calm down. So they get told to count and if not worked to leave the area of confrontation to avoid any bad situations. so far so good!

I would not say that one should rely entirely upon the Anger management course and also, it would not be proper to say that such courses are entirely useless. All we need to know is, how to make the most of it. To get anything accomplished one has to have the strong will which says, 'I must do it!,' or 'I have to do it!' or 'I must get this done!'... Controlling angry behaviour isn't any exception to this rule. So my advice is that one should join such a course, with a strong desire to really be able to control the anger. Good Luck!

Hi, dawnald. My husband has taken anger management classes in 2003. It helped him somewhat from the years that has passed. He has told me that the teacher was saying that it is not only men that can abuse, women can too.. So, from that, I disagree slightly.. Now, he seems to be a different person. But, it took more from me as his wife to ignite that. I would secretly pray to God about his ways. I told God to either split us apart or make him to be the man that he desires for him to be. I did not want to be married to a man that was mean and abusive in attitude and tongue. So, I prayed to God about how I truly felt and it seemed like his demeanor is a whole lot better than it was before. It took some time but he is much better than he was before. He does not jump off at the handle as badly. He gets mad and irritated, who doesn't?? But he knows how to control his anger. I have God in my life and that is what has kept the devil from trying to ruin my marriage. Anger Management is only a waste of time if a person never apply this change to their life.

I haven’t done anger management classes although I did consider it for a while because I had anger issues that stemmed from childhood. I was angry all the time; I didn’t always show it and that was the worst because if felt as though I was going to spontaneously combust, I was so mad all the time! My doctor suggested a therapist and prescribed some low dosage anti depressants and they have worked so well! I rarely get angry anymore. In my case there obviously was some kind of imbalance because my sister takes the same medication and her life has changed as well. It’s not as though I will kill people if I don’t take my meds (LOL) but anger is a symptom of depression and that is something I’ve suffered from all my life.

hi dawnald, i easily get angry when someone misbehaves and does work irresponsibly.i also dont like people who talk a lot and they waste their and our time. when i am angry ,i try to divert myself from that situation and will take some deep breathes so that it will soothe me.and some times i also count numbers. or else i will watch something comedy and laugh out loud. happy mylotting

my mother saids i need anger management but i deal with kids all day at work and they abusive my patience, so when i get home i dont have any left for my family memebers or other grown ups after work! im not wasting money on anger mangment programs i think some people should just learn how to stop acing like little kids!

anger z as dangerous as fire,poison etc.to life.relationship is so soft n ned to be tackle with great care as everybody is aware of it.but still some situations are out of control that individual fails to handle it.i have very few and good friends in my life.i m single so my experience is with one of my friend to whom i missed her today.friends are caring,helpful and many more things you learn from them..but anger do not see who is infront of you.on one fateful day we had hot discussion which turns into arguments and atlast in anger we both loose control over our anger and exchange of bad words started..which would never been said if we would be in normal temperament.that day and today we never saw each other faces and i know she would be missing me as i do..anger is like a fire which took a minute to end up your long lasting relationship.so never let anger dominate you in any of the situation.dominate your anger.