Who is happy , the parent with children or parent without children?.
By venkatachary
@venkatachary (1165)
India
February 26, 2010 6:59pm CST
I have often think of this. If a family do not have children they are more worried than the parents with children. Why it is so?. Actually , in the present day, having a child is much more worry than not to have a child. Every where we got to struggle. There is no happiness , peace in the world.No country is peace country, and internal and external problem faced by them.To bring up the child with happiness and peace is a question. So, I am of the opinion, the parent without children should not worry on that issue instead they should lead a more happy life than the parent with children.Invite comments from my lotters:
17 responses
@achilles2010 (3051)
• India
27 Feb 10
Parent is either father or mother; or the one who begets or one who gives birth to a child. The parent can be the person who nurtures the raises a child. A relative who plays the role of guardian too we refer to as parent. A childless couple cannot be a parent.
Childless couples make a show of happiness though they might not be. They do so mostly to conceal their happiness. Couples with children at anytime are happy. Children are always a source of joy.
@venkatachary (1165)
• India
27 Feb 10
Sorry, I should have used the word couples instead of parents.At that time it has not struck my mind. One can not say couples with children are always happy. The couples blessed with good children are always happy. But among the children also, they do not help each other in their needs, this makes the parents more worry than the couple with no children. Also the present world is not creating a place for happy and peace living. Every where some sort of problems internally and externally besides the natural calamities.
@achilles2010 (3051)
• India
27 Feb 10
I knew it was a mistake made unintentionally. It happens. Children as long as they are children they always make their parents happy. Only when they grow up and they are no longer children they make their parents unhappy by neglecting them, not looking after them, throwing them in old age home, etc. As long as they are children they always are a source of joy, as I said.
@deepasubramani (1074)
• India
27 Feb 10
Hi Venkatachary,
Its really very difficult for me to tell, Both of them would have good as well as bad so we never can come to a conclusion that a parent with a children or parent without a children is happy. The couples who don't have children would start thinking on the same. There is a proverb as well for that i am not able to get that. Those who have children if they does any mistakes or any thing else then the couples start telling why do they have these kinds of children's.
Have a great day.
@deepasubramani (1074)
• India
28 Feb 10
Hi Venkatachary,
I am not from Tamilnadu. Can you please tell me the meaning of this in English Thirukural says that" Enra pozhuthil perithuvakkum then mahanai santron ena ketta thai." Of course you are rite Motherwood best momemts in the life and she feels proud when she hears her son/daughter as achieved some thing.
Have a great day
@venkatachary (1165)
• India
27 Feb 10
I hope you are from Tamilnadu, Thirukural says that" Enra pozhuthil perithuvakkum then mahanai santron ena ketta thai." On the birth of child, every mother feel so happy and she will be much more happy when she hear his son has earned the reputation /fame.Let us accept the reality in life. let us all feel happy by our deeds and by our words if not financially.
@kalav56 (11464)
• India
7 Mar 10
Well;it is all a mindset.I am of the traditional belief that there is fulfilment in life only if a person gets achild.However, the cild must be a good one and if there are health problems for the child and life becomes a constant worry then it si really sad.It is a blessing and a big boon granted by God if a person has a good child.
@venkatachary (1165)
• India
7 Mar 10
Yes. well said.We got to accept whatever is given to us and try to fulfill our life.
@coolcoder (2018)
• United States
27 Feb 10
This really isn't a fair question, because there are good things to be said about both states. Don't misunderstand, I'm not in any way endorsing contraception (there are better ways to hold off having kids, but that's another story for another day), but if a couple wants to wait to have children, that's their choice, and those couples who have kids shouldn't harass those who don't have kids.
Being single myself, I'll be the first to tell you that I'm perfectly happy not being married with children at this point in my life. I'm not ready for a relationship right now.
@venkatachary (1165)
• India
27 Feb 10
Thanks for the information. I am of same opinion that parents with children should not hurt the feelings of the parent with no children. The parent with no children should go around happily and live happily.This question of mine is to make aware the other side of the coin should have a happy living.
@megamatt (14291)
• United States
27 Feb 10
This is something that should be determined on a case by base basis. If a couple has a child or children and they are happy, then good for them. However, there should be no pressure to have children. It is not a prerequisite to happiness. Some married couples might seem unhappy without children. Maybe there is some situation that leads to it being impossible for them to have children.
Plus, not all people should be parents. Sad truth that there are people who should not really have children for various reasons. If they are happy just the way they are, then that's great for them. If they feel like a child would complicate things, then fine. No one should be pressured into having children, because it is a huge responsibility. Many rush into it and consequences later on can be severe. That leads to even more unhappiness with the child. If anyone has a bit of humanity in them, one of the worst things would be not being able to provide for any children they have.
@venkatachary (1165)
• India
28 Feb 10
In depth you have analyzed. Certainly it is case to case to basis.There should not be any pressure on the couple.Let the couple decide and take their on their willingness. Present world, I fear may not create peace environment for happy living.
@myramae19 (667)
• Philippines
27 Feb 10
In my country mostly the parents with children are more happy..Because the children who brings joy and happiness to the family,how amazing children could be, especially when they learn things, when they learn to call their mom/dad.
I have also known some couples with out children and they are really sad, yes, they can live comfortable because they don't have to worry how to feed,education etc.but it's always incomplete with out children.
@venkatachary (1165)
• India
27 Feb 10
In India also the same thing. Couple with children are more respected than the couple without children. But we should avoid that.We should be contented with what we have in life.We should feel sad about what we do not have. Let us be contented.
@venkatachary (1165)
• India
1 Mar 10
"we should not feel sad" to replaced in place we should feel sad place.
@Galena (9110)
•
27 Feb 10
it depends on the individuals, and what they want from life.
when I married it was because our relationship was enough for me forever. if it's only us for the rest of our lives I will never feel like there's anything missing. he is everthing I want.
if we ever have children it will be despite careful contraception. we are trying hard not to have children. if despite our efforts I fall pregnant, we will aim to be good parents.
but having children isn't something we need in our lives. if we never have children we will be perfectly happy just the two of us. that's what marriage is about after all. committing to a life together no matter what. if we have children I'm sure we'll be just as happy, but it's not what we're aiming for.
@venkatachary (1165)
• India
28 Feb 10
You have correctly said it. Let us go on with the reality in life and make ourselves happy..
@sender621 (14893)
• United States
27 Feb 10
I believe a parent with children is happier by far. It can be a lonely existence without children. There is no one better to leave your legacy to than your children. If you don'tr have children, you are missing out on a whole new world.
@venkatachary (1165)
• India
27 Feb 10
In India law has been made to punish the erring children if they do not safe guard their parents at the old age. It shows the treatment rendered by the children to their parents at their old age. If the children behave with moral values and the all the children of one parent should understand and help one anther, the joy of parents will have no boundaries. Or else the parents will be put to untold sufferings till their last days. Similarly couple with no children should feel happy because no such situations at their life. So, we should be contended with what we have.
@venkatachary (1165)
• India
27 Feb 10
When the children bring name and fame certainly it is the real happiness and happiness ever remains. But otherwise the sadness will take the position. In such a condition couple with no children got to be happy.So, one should be contended with what they have and should behave happily. We have two sides of life both should be taken alike.
@TierrasMommy (125)
• United States
27 Feb 10
Well I think this is a tough question to answer because it depends on the couple if they want to be tied down in life then by all means go ahead and have children you accepted the fact that you will no longer able to be able to do some of the things you used to love. Then you have more bills to add to he household if you are already struggling and then you have to worry about the child growing up right instead of becoming a bum that you'd have to support for the rest of your life.
@venkatachary (1165)
• India
27 Feb 10
Yes. But we still struggle what ever be the situations to feel happy with children. Let us also see that couple without children is being respected and create an environment for their happy living.
@thunderbala (748)
• India
27 Feb 10
only parents with children can be much happy than the others cuz life is too short.. so you need someone to show love affection and everything.. children are a part of life.. they make our life much more colorful and add meaning to the life..
@venkatachary (1165)
• India
27 Feb 10
Of course, if moral values are taught right from the day one and practiced by the children. Life is much pleasure.
@rosegardens (3032)
• United States
27 Feb 10
The only couple I know that were not blessed with children were happy people, though they wanted children badly but could not have them.
I do believe married people with children are happier than those without children. Children are a blessing, they bring joy and love into the home. They distract from other worries.
@venkatachary (1165)
• India
28 Feb 10
We should feel happy with what we have and we should avoid worry with what we do not have.Happy living.
@common_man (1799)
• India
27 Feb 10
friend
I feel that married couple with children are happy. They become Parents only when they give birth to a child. Giving birth to a child and to be mom is one of the happiest moments a woman has during her life.It is said motherhood makes a woman complete woman, the woman who can not give birth to a child has to bear lot of taunting from society. As regards the difficulties in bringing up child, they can be managed with planned approach.
@venkatachary (1165)
• India
27 Feb 10
Yes planned approach is necessary to bring up the children.The child understand the moral value and practice it right from the day one.Environment to be created for play. Children should not play on the road. Environment to study to be created.
For the couple with no children, let us give them the due respect and they should be made to feel happy because their sorrow only for the time being. On their last days, they need not to have any worry about the welfare of the children.
@ammo913 (5)
• United States
27 Feb 10
Wow, dare I answer this? I am a Mother of 2 children. I LOVE my kids. I am very happy, in parenting, life, marriage, you name it. Having said that we are young parent and we will be young when the kids are out of the house, so its easy for us to dream of all we could do with early retirement. So in these discussions you have the tendency to get sidetracked in dream land and start thinking about maybe what you would be doing now... or when you pass that house you didn't buy but you would have if you didn't have the kids.... I guess I am saying its not like we go "oh gee wish we didn't have kids", but we do talk in the "what if" sense occasionally.
It would be totally Amazing!!!! To be able to be with my husband and have undivided attention from him, and the amount of things we could afford? OH my goodness!!! we would be rich!!! I am envisioning Cruses, Vacations, Party night life, lots of drinking, oh man would we have a blast!!!
That being said, I don't think we would last that way. I have wanted kids since I was a Kid, my profession is kids, and I think eventually I would find that, that was not rewarding. I think my happiness would be short lived. (I can not speak for my husbands)As proof to that my 5 year old is now going to school part time and already I am empty nesting....uhoh we are going to be in real trouble next year!
Being a parent is a worry, a stress, and a time consuming HUGE job, but it is one of the most rewarding,fun experiences of my life. Everyday I laugh, I cry, I smile, but in every way, everyday my heart is touched so deeply. I can only imagine getting that feeling from being a mother.
@venkatachary (1165)
• India
27 Feb 10
Yes real worry for the parent is to bring up their children and they should be placed well and have a happy living . Even, they do not feel the burden if they do not look after them at their last days.All blessings from GOD..
@iceydon (342)
• Philippines
27 Feb 10
Being childless is not equal to being totally unhappy in life. It depends on the perceptions of the couple regarding living life without a child. Its a fact that children bring forth tremendous joy in the family. We can never deny the urge of every couple to have children. The desire to have children that they can take care of is sometimes very upsetting if it doesn't come into reality. But happiness alone cannot be found only when one have children. Bringing up a child into a human being is difficult than just bearing a child into life. It is such a huge responsibility of parents to have in their children the values that is a must to make this world less complicated. But this must not be an excuse not to have a child and not having a child must not be an excuse either not to be happy.
@venkatachary (1165)
• India
27 Feb 10
You certainly taken all views and that is my view also.The present world how it is, everywhere there are problem internal and external.Is it safe for the human being to live. We want the child to be happier. But how ? Whether the world will keep our children in peace.
@vince06 (98)
• Philippines
27 Feb 10
some couple find havong a baby is a problem because of financial situation but actually couple jud plan first, save enought money that they think can finance there children so that when time came that they have one they will problem money anymore because having a baby is very fullfilling to the couple it is nice to see if who is the baby look likes and you can feel that you are certified father if you have a baby.So, for me having a baby is more happier than without a baby.
@venkatachary (1165)
• India
27 Feb 10
Of course, having a baby is happier and no one can doubt about it.But the present world is becoming unsafe for human being.And so... the worry.....
@bamikalipal (588)
• Philippines
27 Feb 10
Hi venkatachary,
Good day to you.
Each child is a blessing that we should be grateful for. As parents, we have the responsibility of educating him so he can have a happy and fruitful life. Education begins at birth and we are the first "teachers". We can't wait for a time when the child gets too old to mould. We have to start ASAP. The people around him are also his teachers. He goes to school and the school teachers help in the process of education and character formation.
Parents with children are happy people. Children give parents a lot of worry, but in life, this has to be expected. Normal parents love their children no matter what. They worry about their children's problems and do their best to be of help. When children are sick, when children grow up and fall in love and get frustrated, when children get failing grades, when children go astray because of peer pressure, etc, these give a lot of headache to parents. Then comes a time when these children will have to make their own decisions and fend for themselves. Our task was to prepare them for life. So, whatever happens we have to let it be.
I am happy that I have kids and grandkids. They are a bunch of blessings.
Some childless couples are happy the way it is. Some are unhappy. It's really a matter of attitude, of outlook and of choice.
In my opinion, we should be happy for what we are and grateful for what we have. opinion.
Have a happy day, venk...!
@venkatachary (1165)
• India
27 Feb 10
We should be happy for what we are and grateful for what we have.If this principle is applied by all of us. A happy , peace, prosperous world. Let us March on with this...