Sometimes I Feel Like I'm A Widow Spending So Much Time On My Own :-(

Hi Janey, Feeling sorry for oneself is normal. It happens to everyone. But, as you very well know, nothing lasts forever. The wheel of life keeps on turning. Sometimes we're up, sometimes we're down. Let's be patient and wait for it to turn on its way up again. Can you stand garlic in a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar, sweetened with honey and spiced with cayenne pepper? This concoction gives me instant relief from an annoying unwelcome cold. Wanna try it and do this t.i.d.? I have a friend who does not love her husband anymore and for a very good reason. The reason she opted to stay married to him is to present a solid front to her kids and grandkids and not make them feel that they are members of a broken home. This does not make sense to me. This marriage is a farce, but it's her choice. You are lucky to be with a husband who you love. You still have a real marriage. There are times when he is occupied with other things which excludes you, but he is there with you or a phone call away when you need him. You have every reason to feel lucky. You are very smart and sensible, among other things. You have your Mum and you have your cat. But, go on, feel sorry for yourself today, you're human, too. Tomorrow, this feeling will be part of history. God bless you Janey. Tomorrow, cheer up.

That must have been pretty lonely for you. How about a mini outing with your mom? You can have a list of agenda of places to go to.. just a brisk walk, a trip to the market and etc. I know that's not a lot, but those little joys can add up. Play games.. get some crossword puzzle books and do (it works for me sometimes). Actually, Monday is a very dull day, I think a lot of people dislike Monday, really.. whenever I'm bored, I would get a good book or go and buy some small stuffs which are inexpensive.. at least it won't allow me to overspend. It can even be just a pair of socks, but the errand of going to the place to buy, it can be good for me. At least there's something to do during the boring moments. How about having a little kitten to accompany you?

you have to make your own excitement. my mom, who is actually a widow, visits the library and gets out movies and books all the time. she also likes to do jigsaw puzzles. as for me, because we have no money, i also visit the library a lot and do a lot of crafty things.

Sounds like about 15 years of my marriage. I learned to do things on my own too, but in the end it was too lonely. He ended up changing his hours when we had children. But then I was working full time the whole time too. Maybe if you do get that job, he can ease up on his hours so that you can spend more time together? He probably needs some time to rest and recharge when he gets home, but when it's MOST of the time he's home, that's no good either. Ok so I'm a day late, but here goes: Roses are red Violets are blue Sending a silly Poem to you Snowdrops look down Tulips look up Hope that my silliness Cheers you up

Hi Jane, I hope i can visit you and give you a head and hand massage with peppermint aromatherapy so that you will feel better. here's a hug to cheer you up. if you have something funny to watch go ahead...and enjoy your favorite snacks. i hope you will feel good after that.

That's funny ,I was just thinking Oh there is no Hustle today. Good old Robert Vaughn. Still good thing the Gadget show is on or I would have to watch some awful cops thing (hubby likes cops,soldiers and cowboys and will even watch TJ Hooker). We record voyager and watch them but sometimes they are too quick to repeat them and you remember the endings from last time. I am on my own quite a lot too. Hub does his police reserves at least 4 times a month and sometimes on a Saturday. Then there is Karate on Saturdays and he is doing a course which will require him to sit for hours reading and typing . He also pops over to a relative once or twice a month. His relatives seem very insular and don't really acknowledge those who are married to their blood relations which makes it quit an awkward encounter so i often just don't go. Its sad because it means missing the youngsters lives but they don't think of me as aunt anyone, I am just that person that comes along sometimes with uncle. He did start talking about another hobby thing on 2 evenings a week until I burst into flames ,it was our running nights (we run 2 evenings about 45 minutes each) . I think sometimes that men have a different view of the world,ours is all bright colours and sharp images and theirs are a sort of sepia toned ,murky underwater image which isn't so easy to navigate through.

Hi Janey, first of all, I would like to tell you that you're not alone. Many women, who are not working and are looking after their houses, face such problems; especially if the hubby is working a lot. Many of such women resort to blaming their hubbies for not paying much attention at home (or at her, basically!) and the terrible arguments start. The hubby feels helpless, as he works hard and for many hours; and yet finds no peace at home. I appreciate you that you understand him. This is a real big thing, which many women can't do! Your hubby is really a lucky fellow... :) I know how it is to sit idle and wait for something to happen. Why wait, Janey? Why don't you make things happen? Oh you can do a lot! I am sure you know many ladies in the neighborhood. All of you can form a club, or group or something! Socializing is the best remedy to loneliness. Your club can start with some social work too :). That way, you would not feel lonely and also, you'll be able to help society. Also, try arranging a picnic or something like that on weekends with your hubby and family. Such small but precious moments will refresh the things at home and all will be well, within a month or two... I hope you will like to try these... Good Luck... Happy Lotting...

maybe you should join him at the snooker tables, at least to "cheer" him on - and cheer yourself up! I haven't one of those "hubbie" things, so that's not a problem, and happily I haven't had a cold either this year.

Maybe you could start a new home hobby. I don't know what to suggest for you but in my case, I'd be browsing for silly games that are short but fun. Is it really that depressing to be a house wife? I hope I don't make my wedded life turned into something like that, I don't mean to offend. What I'm saying is, I feel sad for you and I do wish you'd find a remedy for that.

Hi Janey, You are so lucky to have a husband who works all week and have weekends home,also having him help you, my one works four days on and four days off, but he don't help me with anything, all he does is fiddle with his bikes and go racing on it, sees his friends, he does get underfoot and always eating, though he is very slim but I am always in the kitchen and I'm sick of it, wish he will go off on one of juants for a few days with his bikers friends, lol!. Tamara

Well, this is so sad. But keep in mind. Nothing lasts forever and your sadness too.. You posted this dicussion yesterday, I hope things are starting to turn better for you. Have a great week and think positively.

Hello, Janey. Sorry you're not your usual cheerful self. Why not find yourself something you can do on your own in the house, like writing articles, for example? A few of us here write for Helium, and while the pay isn't great, there are plenty of writing opportunities, and it does get a bit addictive. I feel the same myself, sometimes. My husband is at home, but he's either downstairs in his workshop, or he takes himself off to bed early. I'm a night owl myself, and although sometimes I'll go to bed with him and read, most of the time I'm on my own. It does get lonely. Do you not have a group of girlfriends you can get together with, say once a week, for coffee or to go swimming together, or meet up for lunch at each other's houses? That would fill the day. That's what I've started to do. My husband is quite happy at home, but I get stir crazy if I don't get out now and again. Hope you feel better soon.

Hi Janey. I feel like this alot of times too. My boyfriend works night shift 6pm to 6am with every other weekend off and I work dayshift monday thru friday so I hardly ever get to see him. When he is off during the week, I get to spend maybe 2 hours with him cuz I have to go to bed cuz I have work the next day and when he's off on the weekend, I still have to try to keep my regular sleeping schedule while he is up all night. I get very lonely at times and I just don't know what to do with myself. That's kind of why I started using mylot, I needed something to occupy my time. I also found that playing games on pogo.com has helped me deal with it too. I have a few friends who go on there also and we play against each other. Isn't there anyone you can go have dinner with or have a girls night out with? I try to do that once in awhile too just to "get away" and it seems to work for a little while. I hope you are feeling better and if ya need to chat, I'm here.

well try to do yoga after u wake up from the bed doing this it will cheer up at the same time it will give u re-freshness through out the day