Your daughter will pay for your misdeeds...
By Ladyslipper
@Ladyslipper (1327)
Philippines
March 2, 2010 12:26am CST
The first time I got pregnant both my husband's friends and mine asked us if the baby is a boy or girl. During my 3rd month of pregnancy we still don't know if the baby is a boy or girl. Our friends and officemates were teasing my husband and told him to pray that the baby is a boy because if the baby is a girl they said she will pay for my husband's misdeeds.
Well, my husband has this history of not taking his past relationships seriously and even having two girl friends at the same time. My husband seemed to take it seriously as he was always bugging me and telling me that he hopes the baby is a boy. During my ultrasound on the 5th month of my pregnancy he was so nervous and he breathed a sigh of relief when the Doctor told us the baby is a boy. He was so excited when he saw our friends and officemate and he proudly told them that the baby is a boy. They told him he just got lucky but there will be a second one so he'd better not be so sure.
So I'm 3 months pregnant again and he still wants a boy. I told him, "No. This should be a girl as I want to have a baby girl." He just shut up. Well, he seems agitated as the 5th month is nearing and we will know if the baby is a boy or girl. I think the idea that if a man who did a lot of misdeeds during his younger years will have a daughter, the daughter will suffer the same way that the past girls who had a relationship with him suffered is crazy and silly. What do you think?
1 person likes this
8 responses
@sree1412 (208)
• India
2 Mar 10
Hi ladyslipper to be frank i dont believe in all these things because if someone commits any mistakes he only will pay for it.I dont have have to tell you this childrens are god gifts so i am sure god will never do such thing why girl will pay for the mistakes commited by her dad and you please relax whether its boy or a girl both are the gifts of the god.
@Ladyslipper (1327)
• Philippines
2 Mar 10
Yeah. I totally agree with you. I myself don't believe on that nonsense but It just kind of pisses me off that it seems to matter a lot to my husband whether the baby is a boy or girl. If the baby is a boy it's fine with me. The only reason I want a girl is because the first one is a boy. However, if he will still be a boy it's not a big deal for me. I'm just kind of worried that my husband will not have a bond with our daughter. I have a friend who is not close with her father because her father was expecting her to be a boy as she was the first child. She sometimes cries at me and our other girl friends whenever she tells us that it seems like her father is always favoring her brother and does not care for her. Well, I'll make sure that will not happen to my daughter if ever this baby will be a girl. Thanks for the response! :)
@mr_pearl (5018)
• India
2 Mar 10
Hi Ladyslipper... Of course, this idea is the most ridiculous one... Even the holy books haven't pronounced such an inhuman judgments. Oh yes, it is extremely inhuman to expect a daughter to pay for her father's misdeeds. And the God isn't so heartless to punish a daughter. I wish I could talk to your husband and clarify his doubts... I don't understand why has he taken this joke so seriously?
I think you should talk to his colleagues in the office and tell them to refrain from playing such foolish jokes. If he has taken it seriously and if you have a baby girl this time, then that is going to affect your husband.
I have another real remedy for this. I don't know if your hubby will do it, but you can try telling this to him. Tell him to meet those girls with whom he had relations in the past and if indeed he had mistreated them, then ask him to apologize to these girls. Once that is done, the psychological effect on your husband's mind will be magical. All his doubts etc, will vanish in thin air... No doubt, it is going to require a lot of courage to do that, but it will have an instantaneous and magical effect. Good Luck!!!
@mr_pearl (5018)
• India
4 Mar 10
Oh yes, with over-protective parents and strict environment, kids do become rebellious and commit mistakes (sometimes, terrible ones!) at very younger age e.g. smoking or other addictions. Kids generally fall prey to such things because they don't feel secure with what is going on. This feeling of being insecure can come only from the environment at home.
The arguments between you and your hubby aren't going to make things better, on the contrary such things affect the kids deeply. Such disturbing memories never vanish from their minds.
I have suggested a couple of things that can be done. I hope those will help you. :) Good Luck!
@Ladyslipper (1327)
• Philippines
4 Mar 10
What worries me most is that he might end up being so strict and overprotective with our daugther. If that will happen we will definitely always have an argument. I know fathers who are very strict with their daughters. I have friends who have fathers like that and it just make their daughters rebellious and do foolish things.
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
3 Mar 10
Huh? I have never heard of something like this, you're right, it is silly. What is even sillier is why believe anything that friends say, especially if it's negative? If someone is down on you all the time, that's not being a friend either.
When you get pregnant, you have a 50/50 chance of having a boy or a girl, and 100% chance of having a baby if the pregnancy goes well. I think a healthy woman of childbearing age who is not taking birth control has a 25% chance of getting pregnant during any one month, so that's 1 in 4. MEN determine the gender of the baby, and again that is 50/50, but I guess families who end up with 6 boys and no girls or 4 girls and no boys would beg to differ.
Anyway, the point here is purely biological and genetics, what you have has absolutely nothing to do with your current life, your past life, your decisions prior, now, or in the future, or anything like that at all.
@Ladyslipper (1327)
• Philippines
4 Mar 10
You're right. I also don't believe on this one. I don't believe that if ever my daughter will be a girl she would pay for my husband's foolishness as a young man. She would experience to be hurt and that is given however, it's part of growing up and she will learn from the experiences that she will encounter. What matters most is that we will always be there to support them (our chidren), care for them and love them along the way.
@bluehibiscus (702)
• United States
3 Mar 10
1. I have never paid for any of my father;s deeds, and he's done several wild and crazy things
2. The gender of your child does not matter, I had briefly wanted a girl, but when I discovered I was having boy and when I held him in my arms the first time it was the most exhilarating experience of my life.
3. Why do let your husband have girlfriends? Fidelity goes both ways. When I discovered Luis had a girlfriend when we were married el ecuatoriano was very lucky I didn't give him a Colombian necktie.
@Ladyslipper (1327)
• Philippines
4 Mar 10
That's exactly what I want to say! This thing happens to some people but not to everyone and that's why we can consider it as just pure coincidence. Thanks for sharing this one. :) I also wanted to have a baby girl when my husband and I had our first child but the same as your's when I held my baby boy in my arms I was full of happiness and excitement especially now that I'm seeing him grow and learn new things everyday. Have a nice day!
@Mike4me (567)
• Philippines
3 Mar 10
Yes there are people that believe in those things, but I really don't believe in it. Its pure crap, you know why? It's because you're baby doesn't have anything to do with what your husband did in the past. They are two different person and it depends on how you raise the baby, how you let her see what's right or wrong and you will always be there for them for guidance.
Those things some people believe are just karma stuff and the two just doesn't connect, except they are father and daughter. So don't really worry about it, its just a belief, even a theory that no one can prove. Good luck!
@Ladyslipper (1327)
• Philippines
4 Mar 10
I agree with you on this one. :)Sometimes it happens to some people. Sometimes a daughter will experience the same thing that her father did to his past girl or let's say even wife. However, it does not mean that what has happened before has something to do with what the daughter has experienced or going through. I think the reason some people believe about this stuff is due to lack of explanation as to why such thing could happen. It is human nature to always look for an explantion of something and even find who tor what to blame instead of focusing on the problem and resolving it.
@Ladyslipper (1327)
• Philippines
4 Mar 10
I believe that is the reason he is scared to have a daughter. Maybe he does not know what to do in case that happens and he thinks he might not be able to handle the situation. He is a man so he knows male specie that well. I guess since he knew male species too well he does not trust them.
@homeshoppers (6166)
• Philippines
2 Mar 10
actually thats what they call karma also. karma did not hit to us directly but it will hit to our love one's that will give us too much pain and suffering. i also heard that old wives tale and in some area it is true and some are not but most of the time its true, like if the man used to play with the girl or like he got someone pregnant then left them and once they are ready for a serious relationship with the other girl and have a girl they said his daughter will get pregnant early so the father can realize his mistakes of what he did before. seeing his daughter in her situation will affect him and hurt him and so thats karma.
@Ladyslipper (1327)
• Philippines
3 Mar 10
That's sad. For me it should be the person who did something wrong who should pay for it. My husband did not left any pregnant girl. However, he did play one time. I was already pregnant when he had an affair with one of our officemates. He has still choosen me and stayed away from the girl until the girl finally got terminated from our company due to attendance issue. The girl expected my husband will leave me for her. I hope this will not happen to my daughter if ever as she might not be as strong as me to handle the same situation.
@myzire72 (1154)
• Singapore
2 Mar 10
Your husband should be on cloud nine since he's going to be a father again, but apparently he's not. I would say his worries are unfounded. His next generation will not pay for his misdeeds, and there's no need to, because everyone is answerable only to his own deeds. Anyway, ask him to stop pulling a long face. That could indirectly give you pressure too. Just look forward to the birth of his second child.
@Ladyslipper (1327)
• Philippines
3 Mar 10
He really needs to have someone tell this to him. His friends are not helping at all as they continue to keep on teasing him about it.
