Do you think friends should keep secrets from each other?

No thanks! I'm good. Got enough friends online.

Thanks, Jay! You see what I mean. While sharing truly personal details online is not the best idea, I think it's OK to share little mundane details of your life, your likes, dislikes. Those things might be considered a secret if someone online doesn't already know. This discussion was supposed to be a fun exchange of trivial details, but has not ended up that way. Pity.

I feel that if we are friends we shouldnt hide anything because thats was friendship is about being able to trust your secrets.

You've made a very good point. There's another good reason not to share really personal or tragic secrets with close friends, even ones we may really trust. When we share a secret or personal information with a friend, the other person might not really want to share it with anyone else. But the secret weighs them down emotionally, maybe our secret burdens them down so greatly, that they have to share the secret so that they can unburden themselves.

I see what you mean. As for the pregnancy issue, it's not uncommon for very young women (high school age) to get pregnant because that's the age when a woman's reproductive system works the best, while older women (in their twenties and thirties and fourties often struggle with fertility). It might not seem fair, but it really is much easier to get pregnant at that teenager age than much later in the twenties and thirties. It happens in the US all the time. I was so very fortunate to have a baby when I turned thirty after wanting a child for ten years and not being able to conceive. I was just blessed very much. And, lucky to have the one child. I would love more children but have only been blessed with one. I'm sure the child of your brother and his wife will be truly treasured despite the events of the past. We all make mistakes, hopefully we can just move on. Thanks for having the courage to share such a big event.

Very interesting point. Mostly when I refer to 'secret's I'm talking about something personal that you know and other people in your real life already know but that others online might not know. For instance a safe secret might be that you broke your leg when you were a kid or something benign like that. It's something that wouldn't get you in trouble. Maybe it could be more personal like how you might be afraid of the dark. Not that you are. But I'm just saying, it's personal to you. It's your secret. Chances are, there would be people in your personal life who already knew that, so to them, it's not a secret. But to the online world, it's your secret and since noone can really use it to black mail you, then it's safe enough to share.

If someone wants to share online, then that's OK, too. But, of course, there is never any pressure. These little things we take for granted about ourselves are not always known to people online but they are the things that make us more real to the people we talk to and are our daily challenges and the conditions that shape our life experience. We all have health issues that we sometimes want to share with others just to find support whether online or offline. I just wish that there were more people online and offline who would choose to be sensitive when dealing with other people's personal issues and not see them as a stumbling block to friendship. Thanks for sharing. Nice to hear from you today.

One time I heard this comedian and he said: 'Have you ever told a friend a little secret, and then he opens up way too much.' There's always the risk of TMI when you share. You might tell them a little secret and then they burden you down with such a huge secret that you have to tell someone else and that makes you the bad friend who spilled the beans. Thanks for sharing whatever felt comfortable sharing. And if you didn't feel comfortable sharing anything, then that's OK too. That's just my opinion.

Thank you so much for having the fortitude to share such an important piece of information. I have other online friends with Asperger syndrome, so I know what you're talking about. And, thanks for understanding what I meant by sharing a small secret that noone else online knows. I'm sure you could tell from my original discussion that I wasn't trying to pry but was hoping that others on the forum would feel comfortable opening up a little and letting others seeing the human being behind the computer screen. Thanks for sharing. Very much appreciated that you took my sentiment the right way. Wish others had followed your lead, instead of taking offense that was not meant. Best wishes.

I have found that to be true in my own life. Sometimes friends get so offended when they are denied even the least details of our lives as if we are purposefully hiding things and keeping secrets. I blame the soap operas for training us all to see the conspiracy in every relationship.

That is a big secret.

Thanks for your candor. Some people, like yourself live their lives as an open book. It's just so much easier being an open book, cause there's nothing you can ever be found out for when you're not really hiding anything. Of course, I'm not talking about the truly intimate details of a person's life that should always remain their own and not be shared. Some things are private. Thanks for responding in such an intelligent way.

Actually, that's not such a bad idea, after all. Usually I share some very small detail, like my favorite hobbies or the fact that I suffer ear trouble and tinnitus to see if others are receptive. Of course, I'd never share a damaging secret or share my friends personal details as it's not my place to tell my friends secrets openly. Thanks for sharing, I can relate to the feeling of not wanting to be hurt in a public place. You're just being smart and that's never a bad thing. Best wishes, thanks for sharing that personal detail.