wow!
By Caramel0788
@Caramel0788 (73)
March 2, 2010 1:45pm CST
Okay this situation is really messed up but I am sure that some can relate to a point. Okay I have been best friends with this guy since we were 18 and 19. We graduated from high school together and we kept in touch and reunited shortly after his arrival back in my state. Well we started hanging out all the time and then we would confide in each other and then soon some feelings got in the way. WE both admitted that we wanted each other. The only thing is that he has feelings for another girl that is not really good for him and I have feelings for my ex that I was with for 5 yrs. Now here is the thing. I dont have never met a person that wants to know everything and not get upset about it. I didnt want to tell him about my feelings for my ex bc I wasnt sure if they were real bc of the mess and noncommunication that my ex and I have been having. And he hasnt really been talking to that girl either. We are always together and for my 21st b-day my best friend took me out to anywhere I wanted to go and i didnt have to pay anything. (that was his decision not mine!) Then a day before his 22nd b-day I went by and saw him and then talked to him on his b-day. We are ALWAYS on the phone or texting. We have random moments when we laugh and not a thing is funny. And when we argue we are hugging saying that we are sorry and we start talking about other things. He doesnt hold grudges against me or anything. Lately we have been talking more about letting go of our feelings for the otehr ppl and getting together. I figured that would be a good idea but I am afraid to date him bc of how he handles the "other girl" situation. He asked this girl if she wanted him to stop having feelings for her? Who does that? Well I did lie to him about 2 things. (Which I wont tell) and he thinks that just bc he told me the whole time that he had feelings for that girl and that I wouldnt talk to him about mine (I didnt tell bc I wasnt sure if they were real) that he has done nothing wrong by asking that girl that. The girl said no she doesnt want him to stop having feelings for her. So basically we can never be together bc he hasnt told her about us and our thoughts of wanting to date. I really dont find it worth the hassle even though they say sometimes your bestie is who you end up with. Its magic when we are together but this mess is just pure hell. What do you think?
2 responses
@krisnel (498)
• Philippines
3 Mar 10
you should be the one who handle the situation. if your bestfriend had a feeling with the other girl. let him first realize if he really like the girl or if he really likes you. you should not see him, text him or call him for a week or more. if he miss you badly and surprisingly visit you or call you. then the two of you should talk about your feelings.
@mavieserrano728 (670)
• Philippines
4 Mar 10
Yes I agree to this. This will somehow lessen your communication but if you guys are best of friends despite of not having communication, the distance won't affect your friendship.
@Caramel0788 (73)
•
7 Mar 10
lol he did just text me today and I had deleted his number and all picture we have ever taken bc I just wanted to forget him and his ways. He just did the basics as in how are you and I was thinking about you and so forth. I just played it cool and answered his questions and asked how was he doing as well. He asked what I as doing and I told him work lol. (meaning I was really was at work and when I leave I dont want to see you.) The way he handled not wanting to be my friend anymore is still on my mind. Plus I just think I need to move on ya know? Thanks for responding!
@mavieserrano728 (670)
• Philippines
3 Mar 10
Well, this is a familiar situation. Are you in love with your best friend? Well the way I see it is you are. What is the status of your bestie with the other girl? Is he in love with the girl? When you both thought of dating each other, does that thought make you feel comfortable? Are you also involved with some other guy? What I can advice you dear is that if you and your best friend does not have deep connection in all aspects, then just enjoy being "best of friends". If he is in love with that girl then can you handle that? If the feeling is mutual then I believe he should have not entertained that other girl anymore. If he chooses that girl then you will have to accept and respect his decision so that you will not lose him. Time will heal my dear.
@Caramel0788 (73)
•
7 Mar 10
Thanky ou so much. You choose your words very wisely. I appreciate someone like that. But however we are no longer friends. (read the response above to see why) Yes we were in love with each other but I was afraid that I would take some things from my previous relationship into the one with him plus im NO ONES second chick or number one for that fact. I am the only one. However he said that he didnt wanna hurt that girls feelings and I found it to be bull if you know what I mean. I never told him that I was afraid to hurt some guys feelings. Shoot if I dont like them then I dont deal with them and I am not afraid to say so to that person. I hate spider webs and that was all he was spinning. Thanks for responding.
