Are you really a listener?

Tweet

I think many of us would like to think that we are listeners and that we listen well but what does that really mean? Think about it for a minute. Do you listen to someone so that they can listen to you in return? For example, you ask someone how their day was and while they are answering, you are just waiting for them to finish, alsmost rushing them to the end so that you can then tell them all about your day and have them empathise with you. Are you listening or just wishing in the back of your mind, that this person would just shut it. Point in case, there is this girl at work and she is someone who is pleasant enough. She definitely has a big heart. When she starts talking about her imagined illnesses and problems in life and how life is just so hard, the antibiotics she's taking, how hard her pregnancy was, how her mother-in-law is just a wicked controlling woman, how her husband doesn't support her...get the picture, or do I need to go on? There is more if you like :) Well, for me, in this scenario, I just can't be a listener beyond a point. I mean what am I really listening to? A person who just doesn't see the bigger picture. Who needs to draw all this sympathy from her ever burdensome awful existence. Its draining and after a certain point, I had to distance myself and STOP listening altogether. Does your listening have heart and soul attached to it? If a hot distraction walked by, would it distract you entirely or just for a moment? For me I think it would depend on the degree of listening that's required. If my friend is talking about something intense and serious, checking out the fairground attraction and saying, "mmm, mmm, dinner's in the oven" might not be so appropriate. However, if we were having light conversation and sharing, we may very well welcome the hot cross buns gliding by. Heh. Do you have that voice in your head chatting along when you are listening? For some people, its impossible to shut it off, it just goes on and on, lifetime guarantee. Usually this kind of listening is analytical, taking to bits what the person is saying and responding very cleverly, sometimes to show superiority, sometimes to indicate understanding, sometimes just because listening isn't really a skill that they posses. Its the idea of listening but not actual listening that is taking place. Some people listen with more than just their ears. They do it with their eyes too. If you do posses this quality, you probably have a great sense of instinct and people marvel at how you understand so much about a situation or person in short periods of time. Some are even jealous and skeptical of your ability. Many a time the skeptics become believers because the scenario will unravel itself and prove you do indeed have skill. You are probably someone who can make distinctions that many people don't make and therein lies your power. These types of people I believe are the true listeners. They appear more intelligent and dynamic than others. In actual fact, all they are doing is making use of their God given abilities. Anyone who wants to, can. So do tell. What do you reckon? Now that you have listened (in a way) to me, its my turn. I'm all ears.