Common Sense... Why did you leave me?!

She did it again the day after that. This time, she didn't leave it in the playroom, but she left it near the playpen with my 11-month old daughter inside. She had the time to put away that ironing board but she CHOSE NOT TO. Fortunately, I was just in time to put away the ironing board because my daughter was already reaching for it. That first morning when I found the ironing board, she had plenty of time to put it back to its right place. But she told me that she prefers to do her ironing at the first floor, where my son spends most of his time. I have reserved a spot for that ironing at the second floor, where the danger is less for my children. My cousin prefers it that way, because she just plainly wants it. If you know her, you will see for yourself how she decides on things. I may sound a little harsh but I'm only reacting because her actions puts my children in dangerous situations that could have been avoided in the first place, if she just stops and think carefully for a moment if what she's doing is right. I never said anything about her being smart. I said she is an intelligent young woman, academically speaking. But when it comes to dealing with such situations, she fails to act and decide accordingly. You have to understand that my son who's almost 7 years old was diagnosed with PDD-NOS. His condition falls under the Autism Spectrum Disorder. Some say, PDD-NOS is like a mild form of autism. He's almost 7 years old, but he has some difficulty in understanding that there are some things that can be a danger to him. I think I've mentioned that he likes to run around the house. Because he needs it. He has some sensory issues and he needs to move around a lot. In that way, he won't be overwhelmed with what's happening around him. That's why I'm extra cautious with things around the house which may pose a danger to him. Just like the ironing board. A typical 7 year old boy knows that the ironing board can be a source of danger. But my son still can't understand that. You mentioned that he may not be interested in the ironing board. Well, if you can see him, you will understand that even if he's on the autism spectrum disorder, he is a very curious boy. I'm not belittling my cousin. The truth is, I'm embarrassed for her whenever her mother calls her stupid. And when her mother starts to do that, I immediately go to other parts of the house, so that my cousin won't have to endure being called like that by her mom, and having an audience. Once, my cousin told me that her older classmate told her that she's very "innocent". I worry for her sometimes. Because she might be taken advantage of by some people who see her as not being smart enough. Sometimes, I want to have that "heart-to-heart" talk with her and explain how other people see her. But I don't know how and I'm not sure of the right words to say. And I'm thinking that maybe it's best if it's her mother who tells her. But most of the time, she easily gets irritated with my cousin's actions. Thus, the name calling. It's hard to explain because you really have to see it to understand. Normally, I'm a person who won't say anything. If I have the patience to understand, then I will do so. But when it comes to my children's safety, I won't hold my silence.

Hey, there's nothing to forgive.We are all free to voice out what we think. I have to apologize though that I didn't include some of the details about my son. If I were in your place, I might have done the same thing. I would have thought that he's almost 7, he must know what he's doing. And you know, I think you're right about her. Most of the time, when they have their mini-arguments, my aunt complains that my cousin instantly makes faces whenever she asks her daughter to do some tasks. Sometimes, I seek my elder sister's advice because despite my cousin's actions, she has my sympathy. Especially when her mom start calling her names. I don't remember my mom calling me or any of my siblings, any names. Especially telling us that we're stupid in front of other people. When the time comes that you become a mom, you are your children's own bodyguard 24/7!And you won't have a single day off!

I am sorry , to be completely honest I had judged you and I know that that is not right. To me it sounds as if part of your cousin's problem is rebellion, maybe not towards you per se but towards her mother and all those that do call her stupid. Maybe a heart to heart would be good for her, but I don't know that it's your place either. I hope she *grows up* so to speak. With a child running around the house constantly, I don't blame you for wanting to make sure every room is as safe as possible. I am not yet a mother, and have only had experience with my nephew and niece. I've got common sense, I would think, or hope, but did not think from a mother's point of view. Forgive me?

I know And I dont mind telling them off when they do stupid things as all of it should have gone in the garbage back when we did the work!

I wish I can do the same!But when I start to talk especially when I'm really mad, I couldn't get the words out perfectly...Instead, I usually end up in tears!

Oh no!I hope your dog doesn't get sick by eating them. You know, sometimes, we find ourselves in the middle. We try not to remind those people, even if we want to, so as not to offend them. They might think we don't trust their judgment. But when we let them do their way, they end up doing things that seem to say, "WE LACK THE COMMON SENSE TO DO IT THE RIGHT WAY!"

Some topics here at Mylot do bring back memories. I hope what happened didn't leave a permanent mark between you and your cousin. Sometimes such events can build a wall between relatives.

Hi zed.... Since the incident, she's a bit more careful now. She knows that I may not be saying a word, but I am watching her.

I think she would be more careful this round too..

Hi Jen... The first time I've noticed how she weighs her judgment on things, I told myself, that she's still young. Maybe a little immature. That's why she does things, the way she does. But as time went on, I could see that it's not because she's a young woman. It was clear that while she is academically intelligent, she fails to respond accordingly to the basic situations. As I've told the first respondent, that morning it was the ironing board. But that night, there was another incident involving an electric fan. She turned it on, without a cover!And that fan was placed near where my son was sitting. And when I immediately told her to turn it off, she even asked me WHY!!!

Definitely! I think the term "common sense" should be replaced with a more appropriate word. My mother is having some problems with her hired help. We're not sure if the girl really can't comprehend what's being instructed. Or, she just refuses to do what's been asked of her.

It was September 2008 when my cousin lived with us. At first, I didn't notice how she decides on some things. But as time went on, it wasn't only me who noticed something. My sister also noticed it, too. There would be some situations that require common sense but my cousin fails in that category. She is a nice person and truly hard-working. And I admire her determination to stay on the scholarship level. Sometimes, I do feel guilty when her lack of common sense annoy me at times. But when it comes to the safety of my children, I can't just shrug it off anymore. This morning, it was the ironing board. And tonight, it was the electric fan. She encountered some difficulty attaching the cover of the fan after cleaning it. And just like this morning, I get to witness yet again another episode. I saw the fan was on, near where my son was sitting... without the cover! I immediately told her to turn the fan off. And you know what? She even asked me why??!!! Oh my!It's truly hard to keep a tight rein to the words I WANT TO TELL HER. But I have to remind myself that she is my cousin. A sensitive one. So, with all the patience I can muster, I patiently told her that it's very dangerous to turn on a fan without its cover. That there are lots of injury that may happen because of those whirling blades.