living with your in-laws

living with inlaws can be helpful for a while, but every married couple needs a place of their own. if she could get a job then maybe she could get a place & he could come or live with his mom the rest of his life without his own family. if they continue to live with mom i don't think the marriage will last because it causes too many problems.

Oh my that is terrible for this wife. Living with in-laws who are domineering and in charge of the money is ridiulous. How does a grown man act this way. I guess he is a mama's boy because no normal man would what to live this way. I feel so sorry for the wife because she has no say at all and that is so not right.

Hello homeshoppers, It is really difficult to live with in-laws who act this way. In-laws should understand that once their child got married his or her priority should be the family already. If the mother in law pays for the bills, then the wife would just hand her the money. All other expenses should be budgeted by the wife. And accompanying them in pedia is too much.. Maybe your friend can have a talk with her husband, ask him who his priority is. Take care and have fun mylotting red_amethyst

Well, she's being abused economically. She should know her rights as a wife, and not as someone who only takes care of the kids, or run errands for somebody else. She has the power to have what's due for her, in this case he must provide her with some percentage of his salary. Goodness gracious, they're still living with his parents? Well, his husband is a mama's boy indeed. If I were her, I would talk to my husband about it and explain to him all my sentiments and if he will not listen to what I say, I would definitely file a case against him because I have the right to economic equality. She should know her rights as a woman.

true, the money should go to the one paying the bills. since they obviously didn't talk about any arrangements when it comes to where to live before they got married then it is but the responsibility of the one who suffers to either find a job of her own or suffer in silence. that's marriage. it's a working relationship and a contract for life. once you're in it you have no one to blame but yourself.

I feel sorry for your friend, she cannot become queen in her house, she must be feel not comfort at that house. I think she should talk about her filling to his mother in law and husband on one table before the marriage take a part.In my house my mom hold my dad salaries, she control were the money go

i could never live with my inlaws but they are getting better now. my fil was an only child and his wife took over where his mother left off and he drove me nuts because he always had to be the centre of attention. he has altzheimers now though.

hi homeshoppers, I think your friend is in a situation where the in-laws have all the controls and since the husband seems just fine with this then there is little she can do short of leaving him. I loved my mother-in-law to pieces when I was married (still do). We lived with her for a brief time in between finding a place and for me it was very awkward. She was sweet but I felt like we were imposing. I could not have stayed in that situation for long for sure. I am guessing that what the husband gives his parents is far less than the actual cost of them all staying there which is why he just hands his money over to his mother. It would probably cost him a lot more to get a place of their own and he still would not be able to give her money.

terrible... her husband might be of the old ages... but giving to his mother is not a problem.. living with their parents is also not a problem... but he needs to take care of his wife also... she is also a human and the care is more important... its better if you can ask your friend to take the whole of their family to the psychiatrist...

Gees...How terrible!If I were his wife I would really insist that they should live by their own. What's the use of getting married and stay home with the inlaws? Maybe her husband should go and see someone who can explain to him the utmost meaning of being married into someone that he called his wife. Maybe he just don't understand that his wife is now his family. I was truly saddened by this post.

I think it is very unimaginable. If the mother-in-law have a hand in the son and his wife, it will affect the goodwill as betewwn spouses. Maybe your friend's husband is accustomed to do that. One of my fried has the sililar experience. Not too long after she met her boyfriend, she learned that his boyfriend's salary was kept by his parent. But my friend asked his bf to carry the money back. Her bf did it. But her BF'father was very angry. My friend argued that they had the ability to keep money, because they were adult. At last her bf's parent made the compromise. You shoul advise your friend to express herself to his husband and the mother-in-law. I hope it can help your friend.

Its fine that husband gives money to mother in law for taking care of all the expence of house hold.However the wife should be given some amount for her expence and pocket money. Mother in law must understand that she should take care of her daughter in law the way she would take care her daughter. She is an adult and have neds of her own.She should talk to them and make them understand, still it does not work, he dhould star earning for herself. Let mother in law take care of house and kids as well.

its a very problematic matter.But the husband has to understand his wife's needs.it is not possible for a wife always hankering for money from her mother in law.He must give some amount to his wife also and how can her husband say that they are fine whereas his wife is not fine.So i think he is a very selfish type of man doesn't bother for his wife.The Wife must protest these things.