Do you count your blessings when you come across another in pain?

hi vandana madam, one more strong disucssion,i have not understand it and could not answer about the feelings of yours,have a nice day

I can understand your position very well. These sort of things happened in my life many a times. I too cried, left my food for one time, lost my sleep and self pitied myself. You know one thing, certain things cannot be changed at all. Some people are very stubborn. Your words, advises, solutions go to a deaf ear. That is why let us change our attitude for our own good. Things that can be changed, change it Things that cannot be cured, endure it and Things that cannot be changed and is not in your hands, leave it. Say in soft voice and in an affectionate way then leave it to God. He will know how to make the person understand things. You just mentally visualise that you left the problem to the Almighty. He will take care. Let not your blood pressure raise my dear friend.

If a friend has had a bad day I think only of the friend's problem and try to console her with some suggestions if she tends to share it with me.I give a patient hearing and just keep quiet.This thought of myself would mot creep n at that point of time Vandana except for sharing a similar experience if i Have had one. Otherwise I am thankful for all blessings ona regular basis.

Like a guy, if you come complaining to me, I will try to offer a solution - I can't always see the forest for the trees with my problems, but I can try to help with others. If the person doesn't really want a solution, they shouldn't come complaining, I will tune them out after a while - again, like a guy. I'm not going to do too much sympathizing, if you just want to vent, go find some other gal to vent too.

Hi my friend vandana, this one is a difficult situation of your life... My father was also confined in the hospital last few years... we were really found it the hardest moment in our life as a whole family I found myself overwhelmed with sorrows... but I realized that it's not really good for his health that all of us would show that we were on pain too... I knew that the sorrow could just add to the burden we had. I was really trying those days to be strong and show to my father I was not losing hope... I even tried to smile infront of him and telling him some joke... But it was really hard to show happiness and hope if your were in pain... what I do is trying to count each of the little blessing we receive... at least it could help me ease my feeling... I am sorry for hearing that the same news my friend... I know and feel what you are feeling this moment... We are just here... You are not alone... God will help your father vandana... just put your trust on him... God bless you...

I'm more of the A. I sympathize and go on with my life. The thing is this world is full of pain and if I think it all in, and take seriously the problem of others, I could be a deadman, lol. But I try to be thankful in all things in a way count my blessings because in everything their is always a good result. It may not be right, but sooner or later you'll see it's truest meanings and purposes. It will always turn out to make me better not bitter. Don't worry with you father, Old people sometimes think that way. The problem may be emotional or something that is of physical change.

Hello Vandana! I can visualize your plight. I know it could be troublesome to make a BP patient understand the consequences of not taking medicines. I know you would have done your best and would have given up only, when you would have exhausted all tricks up your sleeves. If this kind of situation happens with me, I could feel sorry for the person and would sympathize with him/her, however, it the situation persists, I may also lose my patience, after all I am not a saint. I would render all possible assistance/help to him/her to minimize his/her agony and pain. I would somehow console myself that the whatever situation I am facing is alright, it could have been worse also. Have a great day! Keep smiling!

Hi Doll I'm sorry you are having a hard time with your Dad But at least you have your Dad. Many of us have lost ours. I don't think taking control is the answer. If your dad won't take his meds let his doc know then leave it alone. I think you should walk barefoot on your lawn more often. Give up your cares....Only worry about things you can change All other things set them free... Good luck xoxoxoxoxo

hi V that is exactly what my mother is doing now ... "I wanted to be unhappy and sort of make him feel sorry for using those words." .. she wantsto make my dad unhappy for those misarable time he put her tru as am abussive husband (he was never an abbusive dad) .. She does not want those new sarees we buy for her, she does not want to go to India on trips we give her, she just wants to be in the house ... nowdays she does not even want to watch the television , i remember when she did not want to use the rice cooker, the washing machine, the electric iron ... who is she kidding here right ?? my father never felt bad, instead he felt good that he saved money in his electric bills .. I cant sympatize my mother anymore as she is too stubbon and 'pig-headed' to move on, all her children want to give her the best we can afford and offer but she ... Me .. i realized at one point of time, was behaving like her when my husband did something which hurt me i wanted him to feel that 'pain' he cost me .. and changed myself .. i started to just ignore what i dont like and living my life the way i want .. which is not much but a nice bed with cool aircond and .. Looking at other people going tru worst life than mine , makes me thank god everyday ... i have almost all except 'CHILD' only this one thing in this life which makes me jealous of othes especially those who throw their own kids or go for abortion cheers

No one can guaranty the actions of another. The most we can do is give a warm smile, point them in the right direction and help any way possible.People still don't have to listen. They can be mean, blaming everyone around them for their troubles. Because someone says something doesn't make it true. We all have the power to choose what we deem important in this world. So much of the heartache and stress we bring on ourselves.Happiness is merely a choice. One that I value over all the adversity in the world. All my days are great and happy. The choice is mine!!

Hi Vandana, sorry to hear that...I have had my time like that...going to bed in tears...I think everybody does...it doesnt necessarily mean that tow friends should have a bad time at the same moment. As for your father's comments...I know it is hard to just ignore them..after all words are sharper than swords...I sometimes think how they tend to use these words on free will...generally old people speak wihtout thinking and they never repent atleast they dont show they did in front of us. I cant just move on without giving a word to console my friend in distress. I do compre my plight with others when I feel very low. I compare myself with people who sleep on pavements and all...Then I realise the good things I have and thank god for it... this time will go dear, and you will feel better. :)

Hi Vandana, as i reach my 40 years in life i learned to focus on positive things...on the blessings small and big that i receive everyday in my life. there are more to be thankful despite some challenges and pains in life. blessings are overflowing. we just have to see, feel and appreciate it.

atually i believe in help to every patient when ever i got chance to meet them..and because of this i get knowledge for many diseases..in bloop pressure..bell tree leaves work amazingly..just store five bell leaves in copper pot for a night and in every evening take that water wihout leaves..at empty stomach means after just brushing the teeths..

hello vandana, a person suffering from high blood pressuse becomes stubborn usully, gets irritated , so one need to be careful always, i was facing this problem, but these days my BP is normal thanks for this discussion, be blessed bhuwan

vandana oh how true it is that we always hurt the one we love as that old saying goes. Its hard to try to help someone you love like your father, and get criticized for it, that really hurts. Trhying to help some of us elderly can be a heart breaking job, as some older people will get really cranky when you are just trying to look out for them. I am sorry he brought you to tears, that was not fair at all.Yes when I meet someone whose troubles are so much worse than any I have, I sympathize and usually ask if theres anything I could do to help. If the person says no, I will usually say good bye and wish him or her well, thanking God for what I have and feel much better.good luck and God bless.

Hello Vandana, a)Feel sorry for the person who goes through it, sympathize, and get on with your life? I do feel sorry for the person, but I hardly sympathize, as I know that there is a purpose behind everything we face in our lives. God, like our parents always does what is best for us. Sometimes we feel that a certain event was too much for a punishment. But in long run we finally realized that that event was actually meant for good, and it somehow made the person I am today, strong yet sober and gentle, firm yet polite and kind. There is nothing to sympathize. The person in distress just wants you to stay with him for couple of minutes, that's all. He will share with you something very personal. Now, if you start judging him, and try to come up as a savior, that will fail to ease her pain. That will just make you look more indifferent and apathetic to him, which is certainly not desired. Getting on with my life would be necessary, as only a strong person can make others strong. A weak person doesn't solve problems, he just complicates the whole thing. b) Go a step further and offer some possible solution Yes, if I can. But I am not wise enough to propose solution for every problem. So I will just have some empathy (not sympathy). I will try to put myself in this particular person's place and feel what he is feeling. If I can do that, only then I will try to find an answer otherwise I will just be with him and rather pretend not to be wise. c) Get bored and wish the person had something funny to talk about instead. It depends. Some problems bore me a lot. Most of them are self-created problem. People who actually loves themselves way beyond obsession create those problems in their mind. Their problem doesn't seem to end. These problems really don't exist, so there is nothing to end. I hate when people come up with those problems. They are not sincere enough to solve the problem at all. They just feel rather comfortable being with those so-called adversities. A genuine problem always gets my most sincere attention. d) and e) I didn't understand. God bless you

I surely would feel sorry for that person and offer help if I can at all and if not try to make the person feel good so that they forget about the incident. I would like to tell you something if I was telling my friend the other day. The place where I stay there is a centre for kids with down syndrome and when I look at those beautiful kids in such a state I really feel that I am blessed and do not have to be dependant on others. Atleast all my senses are working and I should be thanking GOD for it.