Why Boys get change after marriage ,, He take more favour of his wife

India
March 7, 2010 11:22am CST
Hi Freinds I am from India and in my Family , there is MOm , elder brother and his wife. well My Mom is very Good and she looks after everyone . She saves money also means she does not spend money levishly because Only My elder brother works. But Now My brother has been changed after his marriage ,His wife do backbitter about My Mom and he takes her favour and He does not speak my mom for many months . My mom is getting sad for this that her son does not speak to her. I made her understand that leave him and move on . But She does not understand , what do you say???
1 person likes this
12 responses
@coffeegurl (1467)
• United States
7 Mar 10
Hey there Sexy Sachin(if that really is ur pic:) This is something hard for your mother to take. I cannot really speak from your mother's feelings or point of view, because I am not a mother. However, women can be very manipulative. Perhaps this new bride doesn't like her husbands mother. Did she ever seem friendly to your mom before? Isn't it customary to get along with your in laws, or at least be peaceful? I don't particularly like my bf's mom, but that's mainly because she tended to spoil him growing up, and I think that has damaged him as an adult. He tends to think everyone is going to help him put of a jam and he tends to be very reliant on people instead of being self sufficient. Perhaps there needs to be a family vacation planned and invite the wife as well. Maybe all that needs to happen is a festive occasion where there is laughter and good times for everyone to see the fun side of the family, rather than the back biting aspects. If your mother gave them wedding gifts, the wife should not be ungrateful. Does she get along with her own mother or her own family? If she truly loved her husband, she should not tell him to avoid his mother. I would never think of such manipulation. That's his mom. But then again, why is he allowing himself to be manipulated?
• India
7 Mar 10
hi sachin its the most common problem in india and i think that the boys change after marriage due to a lot of reasons . they have a added pressure they have a family of their own and they have to do certain things for themselves . till marriage they just live with the family and will hear whatever his mom tell but after marriage they are in a situation to do the things their wife has to tell also . and i think that its just the mental thinkings in most of the way make us think that they have changed because of his wife told him. i think your mom should just give up certain things and since your brother is the only one earning in your family he should also understand the things and act balancely .
@kalav56 (11464)
• India
8 Mar 10
It is a difficult situation for your mom.Is your father there? What happened? When there is financial dependence too , things will get complicated for your mother because she is likely to feel insecure.WOmen by nature are very insecure and if the right balance is not maintained then this insecurity on two women's parts woudl give your brother a lot of pressure.Is your sister-in-law a good person?--WHat I mean is did she ever make any efforts to be friend;y or did she show some acute possessiveness right from day one? Was she aware of the fact that she will have to stay in the same house as all of you before she got married?Is she working?Are they sharing a commone kitchen?Is your mother a person who tends to work a lot ? What sort of person is your mother?Is she softspoken and sensitive comapared to your sisterinlaw? who is more firm and authoritative?
@1anurag1 (3576)
• India
8 Mar 10
I dont think all the boys change. the thing is there there is a division of the affection between both. if you only compare with then you will obviously find many problems but if you try to know why is this. then there is a responsibility also which plays a role.
@phoenix8606 (4942)
7 Mar 10
hi Sachin! long time no see! well, i actually don't think all the boys change after marriage! maybe, the ones that change, make it because their wifes are really not satisfied with some of their habits- the most habit which the women try to change in us men after marriage is to limit us from our friends, which i really don't think is something good. you know- they always think we do some forbidden or nasty things when we get together with friends, but not all the men are like that. and that about your mom- maybe you brother feels distanced from her or think he si no a child anymore and doesn't want to share!
1 person likes this
• China
8 Mar 10
Man should love and care about his wife a lot,but not in every aspects! we all have rules and we should never break the line! Mom is the one who will love us forever; whom we can't choose from our born; who will never drop us! When we are youth age, we are not mature with lots of things, so that we need mom's help a lot; but when we are getting older becoming a man, marriage and career come to us; thus we sometimes ignore the existence of mom! As the saying goes, a friend in need is a friend indeed! We will never forget a friend who gave us help! Why should we forget the women who gave us birth and brought us to the beautiful world? Mom and wif, who is the most important? There is no answer for this question! But I want to say here, is that, cherish your MOm, and never let her dowm!
• India
8 Mar 10
Being a boy and married. I disagree. There a degree of love and responsibility & importance to be given to both. If a guy can understand that then its all easy.
@dante_off (607)
• India
7 Mar 10
I really do not know, but thats the case which I have been hearing almost in all cases, the daughter-in-law capturing husband. I think you need to make your mother understand the situation, try to talk with your elder brother directly if your age is comparable. Try to logic out things, with genuineness and control temper at all times. And about all men, I do not agree. All men are not like that, a man as the name goes should judge the situation and act freely without being influenced monotonously by his spouse. I think that, they might have some misunderstandings, try to make the things clear! ~cheerio~
@Wismay (2037)
• India
8 Mar 10
Hi Sachin, Some people focus on only a few things and neglect other things. There are many people who are 'spouse centered'. That is, all their actions are revolve around SPOUSE. They cannot balance all the things equally. And they favor some things more than other things. I think, your brother is one of such people. He favors his wife more than mother. It is a big mistake and many people commit it. They forget that, without their mother they won't be existing in the first place! Your mom cannot leave him and move on so easily. Just let her take her time and come to terms with the reality. Stand by her and give her strength. Happy Mylotting!
• Philippines
8 Mar 10
i guess thats really life, and i guess that every parents need to understand that somehow nor someday their kids will soon left them to have their own family. but in your case, maybe the reason why the wife backfight your mother its because she hate his husband giving money to your mother. maybe she just want your brother to just give all his money to him. but then as a son, why would he listen to his wife if he knows that his mother needs him. but then i guess he just become so tired helping your family while he also have another family that also need his money. its not really easy to be the only person who work.
• India
8 Mar 10
Well, After marriage, one is held with lots of responsiblities which are not easy. So people are pressured and can go through various changes in life in order to mentally adapt themselves. Misbehaving and not giving respect to the family is bad. As Myself also being an Indian, respect to the elders is an important part. Some quarrels and misunderstandings are common in a family and it happens to everyone but one should also keep in mind that it should not cross the limit.
@scja16 (322)
• Philippines
8 Mar 10
That's really one excruciating problem you got there. Know what, its not only your country who experiences such kind of issue. There's a lot of countries too that has a strong family bond, and once a member of a family got married, he/she actually changes. The only thing I can say about this issue is that,I believe the thing that changed the way your brother was before is His strong love for his wife. Love can change anything. Maybe for your brother, its not his intention to make your mother feel sad, but he knows deep inside him that he should take side of his wife since he now has his own family..