Annoyed With A Visitor...
By twoey68
@twoey68 (13627)
United States
March 9, 2010 10:35am CST
A few weeks ago I had a friend come to visit for a few hours. He walked in, went straight to fridge and started rooting through it, looked through the cupboards, and asked where the snacks were. Then he asked to use the phone (even though he had a working cell phone), hopped on my exercise machine even though he knows I don’t want anyone on it, and finally helped himself to one of my water bottles which he took with him when he left. Oh, he also headed for our bedroom to lay on the waterbed but I managed to head him off! It drove me nuts!!
I tried to get him to quit but he would just move on to the next thing. I have never done any of those things in someone else’s home, even my own mothers. I’m seriously thinking of not letting him come over again until he can behave right. He did live with us at one time (he was in foster care with us) but I know that he knows better than to act like that.
What would you do if someone did this to you? Do you know ppl like this?
[b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~
**STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS**[/b]
17 people like this
59 responses
@scarlet_woman (23463)
• United States
9 Mar 10
WOW.that's pretty bold.or pretty clueless.
um..my friends,i do tell them to help themselves as far as food goes (if they are thirsty,go get something from the kitchen),but getting into everything else without asking,no way.and particularily stay out of my bedroom.
almost sounds like he was on something..
@manleyjoe (1597)
• United States
9 Mar 10
This is kinda personal in that if I was you I would do some soul searching and determine if I wanted to keep this person as a close friend. You said that he was a foster child in your home so I am assuming that you taught him/her manners while they were there.
I will not respond publicly as to what I would do other than to say I would have to do some soul searching as to my response to him/her. Yes I do know people like this but they are not close personal friends of mine.
3 people like this
@beautyqueen26 (16030)
• United States
2 Jan 11
Does he have an issue with
ADHD or hyperactivity with
compulsive disorder?
You see that condition in lots
of kids these days.
I have never heard of an adult
who has that kind of issue but it's
possible these things can go untreated
in an adult.
I don't have many guests, so I don't
know anyone who does that.
But, if it happened to me, I'd
be very annoyed indeed!
I don't like people rummaging around
through my rooms and making themselves
at home.
They are welcome to stay in the living room
with a visit to the bathroom as needed.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
9 Mar 10
twoey hi just about the time said friend started rooting around in my fridge, I would haul off and kick his butt then show himn the door, and say, "dont let it hit you in the butt. goodbye ta ta."Seriously though he sure did make himself at home,now my hubby might have done that and often did but he was not only my friend but my hubby. Just a friend does not do things like that. My mom started to do that when I got married and eventho she was my mom, I really did not like that. I did not really say anything, as she w as my mom. but if a mere acquaintance did that to me I would be horrified. Like you I do not do t hat in anyone's house not even my mom's although as I said she did it to me. she would walk into my house without calling ahead and once she got her own as she walked into my husband and I having a quickie while the kids were still asleep. embarrassed does not begin to describe it for her or for me, and my hubby, shame shame on him, was laughing. laughing mind you.
2 people like this
@elitess (5070)
• Ipswich, England
12 Dec 10
Hello dear.
I think the fact that he lived there acts as a right giver for him to act like he owns the place, with going everywhere in the house and doing anything he likes, but you should tell him off if you haven't already.
I would get annoyed if someone did this in my home as well, i mean as long as i never said "mi cassa es su cassa" as in feel right at home (and act as you will :) ).
Fortunately i haven't met any persons like this, but i will be pissed if i will
@ErrollLeVant (4353)
• United States
9 Mar 10
if he was a good friend, I would probably just sweat it, if not I might swat him!
1 person likes this
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
9 Mar 10
I would just tell him how it is. Set down the rules and tell him that it is your house, and that he should respect that. If he doesn't like it, he can leave.
1 person likes this
@drannhh (15219)
• United States
9 Mar 10
When he asked to use the phone, did you say no, and take it out of his hands? If not, why not? Rest assured that nobody would do this to me because I am rather direct with people. Some people don't mind others rummaging through their stuff and helping themselves to things. Others do.
What I do not understand is why, if he was being so annoying, you allowed him to stay for a few hours. Or why you are agonizing over giving him a cold shoulder should he try to come by and mooch again.
Yes, of course I know people like this, but I do not count them among my friends, or let them in.
1 person likes this
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
9 Mar 10
If he was family, I don't think even my family would do all that, but as family some of it would have been OK. The fridge because we have lots of diabetics and we don't let anyone go hungry. The rest is a bit much.
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
9 Mar 10
I would feel really weird about that, but then I'm not good at making myself comfortable anywhere but in my own home. The people I know like this are related to me by marriage. If I liked him, I'd lay down the law and give him another chance, otherwise I dont' think hed' be coming back over again!
1 person likes this
@jewels49 (1776)
• United States
9 Mar 10
I usually have a house full of teenage boys, so I am used to seeing someone rooting around for food most of the time, but even they have enough respect to stay out of my room and off my treadmill. Most of the adult friends I have wouldn't hesitate to ask for something to eat but I can think of only one that would just help themselves, and she has some other issues slightly worse than that.
Maybe he does feel like family since you fostered him, and if that is the case then it shows that you did a good job of it. Most of the kids I know in the foster care system never feel like anywhere is that kind of home.
1 person likes this
@fallingfan (445)
• United States
9 Mar 10
Sorry, but your account actually made me smile. I can't imagine a guest coming into my house and doing all of those things, but if he had lived with you before, perhaps your home feels like it is still his home? About asking him not to come over, I guess that would depend on how much you care about him versus how much you care about your home... like is it worth it to have him do things at your home that you don't want him to do in order for you to be able to see him more often? Cause if you ask him not to come over you might offend him to the point of him not wanting to see you anymore. Hope this helps! My thoughts are with you. :)
1 person likes this
@danishcanadian (28953)
• Canada
9 Mar 10
I would tell the person that this is not a foodbank, and to quit freeloading. I would never ever go into someone else's house and do that. I wouldn't even go into my mother's house and look in the fridge for something to eat. Some people just think they're entitled to everything in the world, and that's just not right!
1 person likes this
@vivasuzi (4127)
• United States
9 Mar 10
Maybe he just assumes you are fine with it or comfortable with him getting what he wants. Probably the best thing to do is next time he comes over, soon as he heads for the kitchen you can stop him and say "is there something I can get for you?"
Maybe then he will realize you don't want him going through everything yourself.
I always tell my friends they can go through the fridge and get whatever they want, but I would assume that if you didn't tell him that he wouldn't feel the right to do it. So maybe he just feels fine with it since he used to live with you.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (72141)
• United States
25 Feb 11
Wow what a rude visitor. I would be really mad if someone did that to me as well. My sister used to come over and do things like that but when I said something about it she isnt so rude anymore and is more respectful that its not her house and she cant just come in and dig through my fridge. I wouldnt even do that in my mothers home. I never ask for food when I am over there.
@silverhusky (2)
• United States
11 Mar 10
I would call the cops, personally if i dont want him doing it than i would get rid of him.
@Carpathian (582)
• United States
23 Mar 10
First off I don't think even my own kids would touch my stuff without asking. And, if this person is an adult then they should know not to touch other ppls things if they don't want to come back with a stump. For one it is rude and another it shows no respect for the person that you are visiting. I would just tell the person "Excuse me do you not find it rude when ppl come over and go through your things? I would like it if you would sit down and visit me with-out going through my belongings and my rooms. I will offer you a drink and maybe food if you can behave yourself!" If they are going to act like a child treat them like one!
*Peace and Love get's you through everything in Life*
@ricextreme (964)
• Ecuador
25 Feb 11
I've known a lot of people like this. Some visitors are really boring so you want them to leave so you can do something to have fun.
Other visitors are like the ones you described, they are the worst of the visitors, they feel like they are at their own house, so they do whatever they want in your house, even when they know that they should be respectful because they're not at home.
Another visitors want to stay so long that you don't know what to do with them.
Well there are lots of visitors, but we should respect them and try to conserve their friendship.
