Why not me instead? Why??

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I'm sure that whenever we hear a sad story about a child or elder or anyone we care about, we always tend to ask ourselves that question or just ask "Why did this have to happen?". When something bad happens to us we tend to ask, "Why did this happen to me? What did I ever do to deserve this?". I asked myself those questions throughout my life. I was always the one that was defiant and told my mother, "I never asked to be born!". Only when I became an adult with a family did I realize what my great-grandmother had always said was so true. She said that from the moment that we come into this world, our destiny is already written. Whether we believe in God, another form of Higher Power, Buddha, and so on, it's always been the same. Our destiny was already written from day one of our lives. Now I can say that I know why I was put through things in my life. Had I stayed with an abusive partner just for the kids, I would have missed the opportunity to be married to my best friend. Had the doctor not found I had kidney stones in my entire left kidney, I would have been in dialysis right now or dead from kidney failure. Had the doctors not saved me during kidney surgery when my heart stopped, I would have missed everything in my children's lives & my daughter would have never been born. The list goes on and on. Yet, I still wonder about things. There are always the "what if's". We are only human and want to know why. We don't always want to hear the whole but we want to know why or what happened. Do you believe that things happen for a reason?