Do you change for other or you let them change for you?

I think I will not to change anything for anyone,and i need't anyone to change for me. I have my life,and the same to others.i respect my parber,but no change for him.

I think in a great relationship you will automatically want to be a better person, without someone having to try to change you, and that goes for both parties. I don't think you should ever try to change someone. If you hate these things about the other person so bad that you want them to change who they are, then what is the point of being in a relationship with that person anyway, odds are they are not meant for you. Also, you shouldn't feel pressured to change because of the other person's wants. It's like saying, you should bleach your hair, because I really like blond girls... well, go find a blond girl. You should become a vegetarian because I think meat is murder, well, go to the next PETA even to find someone then. These are the kinds of superficial things that people usually try to change in their partner. Don't order a package, decide that you don't like the way it's wrapped and ship it back to have it re-wrapped.

I think that it is both, you change over time for each other, and hopefully for the better.

For me, it is not the presence of each other which makes one another change for the better but rather i believe that the one thing that changes the couple is the love that they have for each other.

For a marriage to last forever Love, Trust, understanding each other and mutual respect are the four pillars. Mutual understanding with proper communication, open talks and discussions also are the essence. I personally have changed a lot I am quite outgoing with lots of friends and used to chat like a chatterbox but after marriage I am become quite the opposite and I do miss myself sometimes but when I get so much love from my husband all these are just small things and I do not think that I have made a big sacrifice. I surely would want him to change for me and I am really lucky that he has. Even after 15 years of marriage he still comes running back home and sometimes I have to literally kick him out.

hi uniqueorn. harmonious co-existence demands lots of compromise, mutual understanding and lots of sacrifices. i think both of us have to change. the least we could do is to change our mindset. once that's done it's easier for other changes to take place. if only one should change, i don't think it will work in the long run. because ultimately it's going to be like clapping with one hand. thanks for the discussion.

Partnerships are all about communication and compromise. My partner and I have both given up a lot to be together and we have managed this through compromise and by talking to each other.

Well, first, I have to admit that everyone like sticking to his own personalities and doesn't want a change for the sake another person, which is a very common concept in relationship. Two lovers, who have experienced a long and hard time before falling in love with each other, would very much want to cherish this relationship. Given many divergences, it is vital for them to break up the differences between them, which is the basis for their living together without quarrelling much. As to the question of who should change for whom depends primarily on their love for each other. If both of them hold a deep love for the other, they'll be willing to change themselves and make sacrifices on his/her part. For me, I do not take change as something humiliating or embarrassing, but rather, I think it necessary to change wherever I should change. For example, I used to be bad-tempered person and would easily get into a fight with others. When I met my boyfriend, I behaved the way as before. But he did not blame me or something. He managed to tell me in a mild tone that bad temper is not a good personality and if I always maintain such a temper, I'd probably have to face many difficulties in the future. I thought about his words and realized it was true as my parents also told me the same words. So I changed, not for him, but for myself.

No one should change for anyone. You should be happy with who you're with

HI,I think I'm trend of let other person change for me.I know it is kind of selfish and ego.Though I also change for others ,in general others changes more for me.Have a nice day and happy mylotting.

if i can see that i didnt hurt no one nor no one is affected to what i am then i guess theres no need for me to change, if i can see that i did not create nor cause problem to them. but in any case like if a person love to go to the party and when she got married and have kids then i guess she need to change it in favor of her kids and husband as being a party goer while she have a kids is i guess not a good idea for a mother nor a married person. so its still depends if its already affect the whole family nor if i already hurt someone because of your attitude.

hi there uniqueorn... im novelcai.. your topic is really interesting... i love the song from carpenters entitled love me for what i am.. then there was also a saying that if you love me accept for what i really am or if you love somebody accept who ever she/he is. but in life specially when u are together you will discover the real personality of your partner, very different when the time of dating stage. lots of things both you will discover to each other. good and bad things. but ofcourse you can talk all those things. its really good if you both adjust or meet halfway. we really can change our self into be someone new or else you can be not so happy because its really not you.. but everything would be go so smooth and fine if we consider our partner's feeling in every decission we make.. happy mylotting :)

I believe that a relationship should not be seen as a matter of sacrifice, but of mutual growth.We all have different strengths and weaknesses, but we also have a brain. Based on all this, today we should be open to being criticized and reasoning based on whether one should change or not. Not always, a person is right n everything he says or does. It is important that if someone wants you to change, or you want someone else change should be done with some fundamentals and reasonable. That is communication.

Good relationships are all about compromise but you are right, often one of the couple compromises more than the other. On a deeper level, it's totally wrong to go into a relationship thinking you are going to change the other person. You should love them for who they are, not for who you want them to be. Talking personally, I was in a relationship where I felt I had to be another person to be accepted. I had to be quieter, more demure and hide my intelligence. It worked for a while but it was hard being the one who had to change all the time. The relationship inevitably came to an end. When I met my husband it was clear he loved me exactly how I was. He didn't want to change me and I didn't want to change him. That's not to say there aren't things about each other that drive each other mad - but we fall out about them sometimes, laugh at them most of the time, and always accept each other. We have learned to compromise over the little things and be accepting of the big things.

uniqueorn no neither one how awful that would be , you compliment each other, my husband was an extrovert who loved people and was very outgoing while I was an introvert, a bit shy and more untrusting of strangers so we taught each other I learned to be a bit more outgoing and he learned to find out about a person before he gave them complete trust in any financial situation, we did not demand this of each other, it was a give and take we each did willingly and no scale as it might be 90/10 one day or 20/80 or anyother combo, it did not matter as we loved each other and never thought in terms of sacrifice at all. that way is sort of sick and leads to resentment, we did not do that. why should we have to change for each other, usually our differences are what made the other person fall in love with us in the first place.

hello.. most romantics would say they'd prefer that nothing be changed. that one has to "love you as you are" but i agree with you, uniqueorn. in a relationship when you have finally decided to live together, you have to change in one way or another. since you have to be a complement of your partner. especially when you already have kids to raise. the short-comings of the other should be fulfilled by the other. personally i believe that if it would be my time to come in to such a relationship, i would change appropriately for my partner and hopefully he would be responsible enough to change as needed as well... but i know not all relationships go that way. haha... most of the time, it is unbalanced. the sacrifice is one sided, leading to various misunderstanding and separation,,,

I'm not sure I have stayed true to myself and doubt I've changed all that much in the seven years I've been with my partner. Though I've noticed some changes with him. Some good some bad. I'm hoping for the good. We all can hope for the good can't we.

I always wish to change myself for her. You know its not much easy but i feel that gives me more satisfaction. She always wish to spend time with me, but my business i have to be in it. But besides all, in weekends its for her. I spend the full day with her and i know she will be more happy. There is nothing wrong changing for your partner afterall she is my world and love.