Do I posess any value?

Dear Champanl, Let me be honest with u. Others dont think so. I ahve been told by people that many feel that i have no value, no knowledge and dont know work and many other things. People always make fun of me. No one gives me respect and trust me, i have no friends. They feel i am worthless and even if i try to talk to someone they just go offlinbe or give an excuse to go away. Except if they need money or any other help from me. most of my mails i send r never replied and chats unanswered. Only if i talk to people over phone they may speak for a minute or two, but they never feel to call me. I feel really hurt and valueless. I had a real bad day today. One of my friends broke off with me just because she had a misunderstanding that i am trying to fall for her where as i was just trying to behave like a friend. So we had a short fight and she said she doesnt want me to speak to irritate her again. Proabalu u have now understood my life.

Hello Howllowheart, after reading your story, i think that you have just met the wrong people, you have not chance to meet them, they are really bad people because they only talk to you only to profit of you. I think a day you will meet people who will be nice with you and want to be friend with you and who will understand your true value (yes, you have value!). It is just a question of time. Try to meet new people and don't care about those old fishs you talked about.

Dear Sushie, thank u so much for ur support and suggestion. I may be wrong, but i have lost all hopes that anyone would want to be my friend or wife. Hhahahaha! Sounds funny isnt it. But then ya i am bad at expressing too. my teacher had told me that. My trainer at work told i keep talking to much. Today my graphics teacher said my work is just meaningless. Every comment i get just makes me wild and shattered within. Maybe ur words would come true someday, but i dont know how to move on till then. Everyday seems to be a chalange. Every person i meet, i feel would be the right person, a true friend. Unfortunately i didnt meet that person yet.

Friend, i guess u feel i am depressed. Ya thats true too, but nowadays my depression has reduced a lot. I have managed to keep my self busy and engaged, though all alone. However after i was hurt today twice i am feeling depressed. First my friend hurt me and i would never talk to her again in my life. More over that even my graphics teacher hurt me today. He said that my designs are just meaningless. I was wild in the class, but just to respect him, i kept quiet. But just imagine how much pain i must have felt. But then thats how the whole world feels, that i am at fault always. A medical professional would suggest me anti depressants, but he cant get me friends, the bit of love and care that i need. So till i find anyone who really understands me my life would probabaly be like this. I am sorry if i have hurt u though my negetivity.

Dear Rose. Thank u so much for that sweet smile and also for feeling that i have some value. Let me be honest with u. Others dont think so. I ahve been told by people that many feel that i have no value, no knowledge and dont know work and many other things. People always make fun of me. No one gives me respect and trust me, i have no friends. They feel i am worthless and even if i try to talk to someone they just go offlinbe or give an excuse to go away. Except if they need money or any other help from me. most of my mails i send r never replied and chats unanswered. Only if i talk to people over phone they may speak for a minute or two, but they never feel to call me. I feel really hurt and valueless. I had a real bad day today. One of my friends broke off with me just because she had a misunderstanding that i am trying to fall for her where as i was just trying to behave like a friend. So we had a short fight and she said she doesnt want me to speak to irritate her again. Proabalu u have now understood my life.

hollowheart you must remember that each person is entitled to his/her own opinion but the only opnion that should matter about your self worth is your own. I know that a fight between friends can hurt, especially if she took your words/actions as more than what they were meant to be. If you continue to have great feelings of sorrow and sadness, consult a medical professional. They may be able to help you get out of this slump and help you move on so that you can make better and greater friends.

Dear superman. Thanks that u noticed me. However if u read my other posts u would be able to know a lot of facts about me.

sure. Wish u a happy weekend...

Will try to get to know you better by reading some other posts. Have a great day!

Hi Harmone, thanks that u feel i have some value. I have not lied, stolen or cheated anyone, but ya i dont enjoy sharing much and i am very short tempered too. But at the same time i dont go and fight with anyone. I keep that anger and pain in myself. Let me be honest with u. Others dont think so. I ahve been told by people that many feel that i have no value, no knowledge and dont know work and many other things. People always make fun of me. No one gives me respect and trust me, i have no friends. They feel i am worthless and even if i try to talk to someone they just go offlinbe or give an excuse to go away. Except if they need money or any other help from me. most of my mails i send r never replied and chats unanswered. Only if i talk to people over phone they may speak for a minute or two, but they never feel to call me. I feel really hurt and valueless. I had a real bad day today. One of my friends broke off with me just because she had a misunderstanding that i am trying to fall for her where as i was just trying to behave like a friend. So we had a short fight and she said she doesnt want me to speak to irritate her again. Proabalu u have now understood my life.e. Thanks.

Dont worry my friend. Everything is fine now. Life is tough. U also faced tough days. But ur inspiration and encouragement helped. I was talking to my girlfriend today and told her everything. She just blew away the clouds of pain i was in and brought in the sunlight of joy. U all r so good. Thanks!

I'm sorry to hear of your troubles, but I still think you have value. I've learned growing up that there are a lot of people out there who aren't very good friends. I also have people in my life that only talk to me when they need something. It doesn't make you feel very good. In the last couple years my friendships have been scaled back to only a couple good relationships. The rest have fallen away for one reason or another. There are people out there that are good and will not mistreat you and can be genuine friends. Hold faith. I know it's hard.

Thanks friend. Dont worry, u will get a good time of life soon. Life is not easy as we think but then.. Anyways all the best.

thanks

Hi. Well ofcourse my girlfriend loves me. She is the only one who supports me. But overall when people go against me i get hurt and broken. So this was one of the expressions after i was hurt. Yes whatever i am and am trying to do , i am doing alone and ya i believe that i can do it myself and keep myself happy. But even then dont u think a friend is needed too sometimes. Specially because my girlfriend lives more than 2500 kilometers amay from me. Thanks friend for ur suggestion.

Hi Ann. So nice to hear from u after so long. Actually my problem is not only from girls but men too. As of now the problem is sorted out. Graphic designing is what appeals to my interests the most. Thats what i do. But when my faculty there hurt me, i was broken. I just couldnt design anything. But then things normalised out and now its perfeect. I am also planning for launcjhing my very own agency probably somertime next year. Would tell u more on that once the logo is finalised. :)

Thank u so much dearest Ann. I will surely let u know when I am all ready for the launch. As of now i am working behind the company logo.

dear hollowheart, that is wonderful news. time always heals the wound so they say. and i am very happy for you friend. good luck on the launching. cheers, ann

Rachelle, I think u r right and more than that u r a very positive personality. i appreciate that. Unfortuantely i have had a very few days when i didnt feel hurt. Almost everyday someone or the other speaks negetive about me or makes me realise that i am not liked by people. It hurts me, but i cant take revenge. I am lonely with no friends and i cant share my personal life with my parents. Actually no one understands me. Thats the problem. Unfortunately most of the people dont want to understand me and have told it directly, that they have no interest to know me. But if they need any help they behave as him i am like a soul mate to them. Strange but true. I have never been appreciated, but rather been blamed for most of things. Ya we r on Mylot to share , talk and listen. The only reason why i posted this. But know what i have felt i am unwanted on mylot too just as much on other sites, at office, and in the building i stay in. Probably thats how my life is to be life for the rest of it too. Anyways wish u happiness.

Dear Rachelle. I just peeped into ur profile and i must say that my paain is nothing in front of urs. U faced so muchof turmoil in ur life. Sorry to talking about that. But i must say that my friendships with u and u can share anything with me. My email id is theonestopheart@gmail.com Coming back to this discussion ...when i say no one understands me .. i mean no one understands whats in my mind or how much of pain or lonliness is in me. I just need someone beside me, with whom i can share everything, someone who will love me, and understand everybit of me. Unfortunately its like this that since childhood i have prefered to be quiet and keep my anger in me. When i was in school, i used to be beaten up and some of them used to kick me to make dirty patches on my clothes, throw ink on my shirt, steal my tiffin, and even beat me till i bled. But i never reacted. Once i was too furious and had compalined to the teacher, but even i was caned. I grew up and reached college. Ofcourse still alone with no friends. Here also i had a room mate who was like a psycho. He used to beat me, throw away my food, get me wet by pouring a bucket full of water and lock me up in the bathroom for the whole night. He used to treat me like a slave. I still didnt say anything. I completed college and came to office. My shifts were in the night and i was not habituated to that. So it was obvious to fall asleep in the office. I was not performing too well at that time. My team leader used to make me keep standing in the middle of the office. I still kept quiet. None of the collges there used to talk to me. No clues why. But i still didnt say anything. Soon i was out of the office and managed to reach a better job. But here customers didnt leave me, my collegues r nice, but still they try to take advantage of my being nice to them. In a team i dont get support of my team mates. I still keep quiet. I did fall in love or atleast infatuations several times, but no one accepted my proposal. To them i was the most unfit person to be in love, but if i asked them as why i was rejected, they said i had no faults in me. Its just that they have some problems and cant accept me. All lies. Anyways...this continued and i am still alone. I stay alone and do everything alone. Lonliness is a pain too. So internet was one option where i could get friends. I started to register in different sites like orkut, facebook, mylot, etc. But the same reaction. Unless i speak others wont. I kept talking to all, but hardly anyone responded. So slowly i got a bit tough and decided that i will talk only if someone spoke to me. Still doing that. Its different on mylot. Though i am not regular on mylot. I come here only when i need to discuss or need a public opinion. I have tried to help people...but couldnt always and was blamed for it. Even for mistakes i never did i was blamed. As in the case of yesterday, one of my so called friends said that she felt i was trying to fall in love with her and said that she has no place for me because she loves her boyfriend with whom she has already broken up. I told her that i didnt fall in love and i wont. I was just a friend, but she started to blame me saying i was lying and that turned into a quarell and then she wouldnt accept. She said she has nothing for me and doesnt care abaout me. I was wild and told her that i will never talk to her again. Thats where we broke and she was happy that i was out of her life. I went to my graphics class. I had made a poster on the topic "Dont drink and drive". I agree there were some flaws in it, which i accepted, but when my teacher said it was a meaningless picture i tried to explain it to him. But even then he didnt accept. He said its just a meaningless piece of picture. I was hurt. Can u believe he showed me a picture of an elephant sitting in a soup boul. He says the meaning of the picture is that it has no meaning and that the meaning of the picture. I was even more wild then. But i kept quiet. The pain was unbearable for me. So i decided to write this post on mylot. I agree i am a stranger to everyone here so no oine would be indescent to say i have no values. But people who know me do they think it the same way? They dont seem to ever think i have value. I have now told u almost everybit og my life in short. Oh one more point i missed out is i am a different character in front of my parents. I talk to them everyday, but never share any bit of my persoanl life with them. They have no clue that all these happen in my life. To them i am like a immatured, happy going kid, whose life is as smooth as can be, tention free, cool life. So whom can i blame or share with. I dont share with them because i am scared to share as i have no clue how they may react and my Dad being a heart patient , i am scared if my sadness causes him any harm. So thats about me. feel free to ask anything u wish too. :)

Sometimes people can be busy and seem like they're not listening-and they actually are. I know I feel ignored by a my old friends-they all moved away and have hubbies and kids..I just have my kids-and they keep me busy too LOL So I remember that and just talk to myself So you say no one understands you-do you mean your loneliness? Tell me more about this. Why do you feel blamed and unliked?

Thanks busybee for feeling i have some value. Actaully i am not too sure as how to respond to u. But let me share something of my life. I have been told by people that many feel that i have no value, no knowledge and dont know work and many other things. People always make fun of me. No one gives me respect and trust me, i have no friends. They feel i am worthless and even if i try to talk to someone they just go offlinbe or give an excuse to go away. Except if they need money or any other help from me. most of my mails i send r never replied and chats unanswered. Only if i talk to people over phone they may speak for a minute or two, but they never feel to call me. I feel really hurt and valueless. I had a real bad day today. One of my friends broke off with me just because she had a misunderstanding that i am trying to fall for her where as i was just trying to behave like a friend. So we had a short fight and she said she doesnt want me to speak to irritate her again. Proabalu u have now understood my life.

Let me appologise even before I start, because i feel u dont trust what i say. U have raised a question that i may have just written this to roil the waters & get people to respond on MyLot. So i have to say, u r free to think that way too. Afterall i cant proove it. Sorry Trashqueen that i spoke to u rudely. But let me share something with u about my life. People have openly told me that i have no value because i dont have much knowledge, or i dont know to work well. Forget about outsiders, i have found similar responses from my parents too. So i dont share any bit of my personal life with my parents. I hide my identity everywhere. I am lonely and have no friends to share with. Even if i go to a restaurant or a movie i go alone. No one cares for me. No one talks to me, except if they need anything from me. I have never recieved a mail, a call or a chat from my friends. Only if i talk they may respond enough to say they r busy, while most of them just go offline which i feel insulting. Anyways i shouldnt be throwing all my pain at u. Hope u have a happy life and good health. God bless. Take care. Afterall no one understands me.

dear Merita. Thank u so much for the support. Unfortunately as i dont know ur language, i couldnt understand everything u wrote. But i felt it was in support of me. :)

Creia que no habia pasado y lo he escrito varias veces.LO SIENTO.