It is only during your hard times that you know who really is close to you...

I agree with you Kiran... It is only during hard times of life, that we come to know who has been a real friend of ours... I have had many such experiences. Frankly speaking, my life has been full of ups and downs at many stages. I remember, helping my friends liberally, when I had enough to help others. Then at other stage, I remember spending days without food (during recession) and calling friends for a little help. I was refused by those whom I had helped. Many of them, later, stopped attending my calls, or replying to my frantic e-mails. At one time, I spent 10 days without food and at that time, only one kind friend (whom I hadn't approached for help) did it for me and I survived. Then, I learned who was a true friend and who pretended to be! Thankfully, I am doing much better these days, by the grace of the Almighty and I have sworn, never to help anyone unless I am sure that that person is a genuine friend... Thanks for sharing with us... Have a great time!

There is a phrase in our Bangla Language: 'There are many friends in your days, but there is none in you bad days.' This is the reality of life. This is also cruelty of life. When parents get old children also try to avoid them. Why are you thinking this. Is it for you are 89 (I have doubt)? Don't bother we are with you.At least me.Cheers.

hi kiran, there is proverb, share the good with friends and other,and feel about your difficulties alone,that is common,just the ants will come to sugar,people are more when you are alright and with some money,if you loose money,no body will come to you,just like me some of my known persons are not inviting me for their functions,but they are inviting my brother,that is the thing,have a nice day

You are very true.Only genuine friends and relatives can make it to the final rounds. I too have faced some very hard and testing times and my close relatives stood by me like pillars.I owe to them.Without them i would not be the same person. I have been cheated on by my partner not one time but three times.But i am so lucky to have wonderful parents and brother who stood by me mentally and emotionally. I am a satisfied person now that at least i can rely on some genuine people.

yes i agree with the things. we can realize only in our bad time. when we have money power and health every body would like to be with us to make them secure. but the people who stay with us may be how much help they could do or not. they are real and not fake. that is the real time when you will come to know who cares about you and close to you.

Hi kiran What you say is absolutely correct, most friends are nice weather, selfish friends, so long as you entertain them in parties feasts they remember you You reminded me of my accident in 1985 i broke my hipbone was bedridden for almost two years, my kids were younger than, i had my job but i was on medical leave for indefinite period, money was needed for home expenses too plus treatment A stage came when my friends and close relations stopped visiting me, afraid i may ask for loan, if not as help I sold all gold my wife had. Thanks for this post, cheers Prof

Yes, Kiran, this is so true. Just the other day I was responding to another discussion here which asked if we were shy or comfortable in asking for help from others…well, I said that I am always uncomfortable asking help only coz I know how most people react when you are in trouble and need help…most would avoid you like plague in your bad times and that causes further depression and frustration. Also, a few who might drop in…would rather enjoy your predicament in a twisted way while others might help you but would lose no opportunity later to remind you how you should stay obliged to them. I’m sure people must have their own reasons, but generally I keep my troubles to myself…I feel very awkward asking for help from anybody. Yes, there are a few on whom I can depend on any day….

From personal experience it is pretty much only your true friends and family who stick around when you need someone. Those shallow ones who enjoy your company in the good times are the quickest to run when things don't look so rosey and are also the quickest to return when things start looking up again.

well in time of adversity, you will know who are your true friends. some are friends who spend happy days with you and help you to spend your money. others when bad times come, they disappear as fast as they appear, saying no time, this and that. there are friends that stick by you through thick and thin, very few of them. you can count them with your 5 fingers or so. whatever it is, count your blessings that you do have good friends and family members who care for you. very important no matter what happen, learn to trust in GOD as He never leaves or forsakes you. in bad times, cling to God as He never disppoints you. there is hope in God.

yes i agree with you as most of the people only support or try to be with those people who are either on top or at power. there are number of people who like to be with those people who are intended to get the advantage of the power of their colleagues and if they are not in power or with money they generally leave them in the desert.

a friend in need is a friend indeed.Only in your hardship you can distiguish your best friends from the seeming friends.

I can really relate to this. The past couple of months I have been very down and most of my so called close friends wouldn't want to go out with me cause they know I was very down cause of my break up with my ex. They didn't want to listen to me cause they knew I would only talk about how I could get over her. I guess they missed the part where all I needed that time was someone to talk to and support me. This made me realize that although I have a lot of friends only a few of them are real ones. I realized that even though most of my friends are here they couldn't spend a little time to talk to me or just spend some time with me. I realized that distance wasn't an issue cause one of my close friend who was living in a different province still gives time to listen to me. I definitely consider her as one of my true friends cause she was with me through the good times and the bad.

Yes thats true. We may have 100s of close friends, you can have them at your best times. When you expect more then disappointments are sure. It happened to me too..at my most need, i was able to identify my real friends. Well, not to blame anyone, i made it a point, dont expect from others, rather you do to others what you expect from them. Then life is happy always!

this is quite normal if you ask me. though you expect too much from a certain someone to be there by your side whenever you needed them, don't get disappointed THAT MUCH either because it will only cause you more heartaches. instead, try to be patient and understand that they may be busy with something else. patience goes a long way my friend..

Hi, kiran. Yes, this is very much true! It seems that people are my friend when things are going really well in my life. But as soon as I fall down to the ground, there is no one around but a few people that I can call on. It is great to have loved ones that are there for you regardless. I know a couple of females that are like this. And that is what I love about them the most, their sincerity. People should try to take the time to shed some light into a persons life. It will make them very happier.

Hi Kiran,strange are the ways of the world,and you have hit the nail right on target.In fact we can gauge the depth of the feelings people close to us have by their reaction when we are in dire straits....And its not only friends ,but even close relatives whom we expect to be a mountain of strength in our bad days,often turn out to be the first ones to turn their back on us.....Yes this is all life is all about....Infact what we learn in school from our books is never a substitute for the harsh lessons we learn from life......amen.....

It is a fact that you can find good frineds during your hard times. When you have a lot of money, power, etc. there will be a lot of friends who like to converse with you and spend time with you, but you may not be able to find these people when you are in a difficulty. The problem occurs more with financial loss. When you are in a difficult situation, many people keep a distance from you because they don't want you to borrow moeny from them.

yes your right specially when it comes to friends, most of them are good only during happy times but once your in your troublesome life expect them to have a lot of excuses while others just disappear one by one afraid that you might going to ask for their help specially financial matter. i used to have those kind of friends whom i counted for as trusted.

i absolutely agree with you kiran. i'm glad to say that my family has always been behind me in good and bad times. there are also friends who are always there. these are the pillars of my life. they have enriched me in more ways than one. a simple smile and a "hi" is sometimes what it takes to return them when i'm busy. otherwise, i try to catch up during weekends or holidays. i'm sure knowing that we are loved means alot to everyone. it feels good too to try to be there as they have always been...