This is just so hard to say.
By saundyl
@saundyl (9783)
Canada
March 17, 2010 5:08pm CST
Last Wednesday My dad got sick. We had been told about a week prior to that that he for sure had liver cancer and was going to be going to the cancer clinic for treatment. Nothing said about what treatment or even told as to how long he would have.
He spent the night in the hospital and was to go to the Cancer clinic in the city the next day by car with my mom. By morning he was too sick to go with her and they took him by ambulance. By mid afternoon my mom had us driving the 3 hours to the city to be with her. We spent the weekend with him in intensive care on life support.
I took my youngest sister home Sunday because ICU is no place for as 12 year old to spend lots of time. It was so hard to go...i didnt want to leave and i wish i hadnt now.
Monday saw no change. Tuesday my brother in laws mom shows up to where i work and says i have to go. We didnt make it to the city in time for me to say good bye...My dad passed away about an hour before i got there.
I'm very glad that i stopped at mom and dads last wednesday and gave him a hug and told him i loved him before he left for the hospital. It was the last time i saw him conscious. I'm also glad that i told him i loved him and good bye before i left on Sunday. I had told him id be back on the weekend too...but i wont ever see him again.
I'm amazed at the support in the community - the amount of food people have brought over...and the amount of people that have called. I honestly wish though people would let us be to grieve.
I dont know how my sisters feel - I'm glad they were with him when he died...and that my mom was with him too. Mom's taking it hard.
Have you lost a parent? How does one deal with it?
2 people like this
5 responses
@charmingmind (12)
• Philippines
18 Mar 10
Saundyl you are still lucky compared to me... I lost my dad when I was a year older and my sis is half-month old... I couldn't even remember his face and didn't even remember the things that we do together at that very tender age of mine... Me and sister both grew up in our grandparents care because our mom left us. And yes they've loved us more than anybody else, but still, I am wondering what would be our lives growing up with him... Maybe our mom wouldn't leave us and maybe we will be one true happy family... With your case, you are still lucky because you have memories of him to remember, to cherish and to nurture throughout your life... Goodluck and Godbless...
Please accept my heartfelt condolence..
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
18 Mar 10
Hey saundyl~ I am so very sorry about your dad. I know how close
you were to him and I know how much you will miss him. But, he
knew how very much you loved him and he is in a better place
and not suffering. I know that doesn't make it easier on those
who loved him and are grieving right now. But, you have a big
family who loves each other and who will be able to stay strong
and help each other get through this. You need to be strong
for your Mom's sake. I didn't have a good relationship with my
father so I have nothing to say about that. I will pray for
you and your family and know that I am here if you need someone
to talk to anytime or the day or night. I am always around since
I don't sleep well. You can contact me at opal2626@yahoo.com
if you need to talk. I love you and hope that you will be able
to get through this with the help of those that are closest to
you! Stay strong Saundyl, your family needs you especially Mom
and your little sister! Hugs, Leslie
2 people like this
@saundyl (9783)
• Canada
18 Mar 10
Oh thank you Leslie. Im so glad we do have a close family on my moms side - big too....my dads other than his cousins whom i barely know all thats left is my 3 sisters and i my mom...3 cousins and 2 of their children. My moms cousin any my sisters husband & his mom have very much been our rocks this last week.I dont know how he did it...being the only male around 5 crying women yesterday.
Im going to miss him greatly - i already do.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (161881)
• United States
18 Mar 10
In a space of less than five years I lost my husband, my younger sister and my mom and my grandmother. I will generalize here, and say that your dad allowed himself to go ahead and die because he had everything resolved, in his mind. He did hear that last time you told him that you loved him, even if he was in a coma. He knew you hugged him. You will have some alone time when it will probably drive you crazy. I am so glad that you can say that the last time you remember being with him he was laughing and joking, what a precious memory. Saundyl, he is there with all of you. He is there in the person that you are, he is there in the fine qualities and talents that you have and you will begin to look at your siblings and see more and more how they are like him. I am so sorry that you have this loss to deal with, but I am so glad that you do not have memories of chemo, radiation, hair loss, wasting away, and nausea and frustration at not being able to do things he wanted to do. God bless you, hon. If I was there I would certainly give you a hug, and shed some tears with you. I would remind you that Easter is approaching and of God's promise of the resurrection. I hate to stop typing because I would so much like to be there for you.
@p1kef1sh (45681)
•
18 Mar 10
I am so sorry to read about your father. I am a lot older than you and still have my parents. I do not know yet what you are going through. However, remember the good times you had and that he loved you very bit as much as you love him. Let him guide and strengthen you as you make your way through life whatever shape it might take. Hug your Mum and let his passing make you all stronger.
1 person likes this
@jesusmyjoy (125)
• United States
18 Mar 10
First of all I lost my dad to cancer when I 19..it started when he was spitting up blood when he coughed..they found a spot on his left lung..they did surgery and removed his left lower lobe of his lung, he was fine for about seven years..well he started to get headaches and they thought it was his eyes so they gave him glasses..well to find out it was a tumor on his brain right behind his left eye..they did brain surgery and from that day forward he had to take meds for his brain..well the cancer spread to his bones and liver..dad passed away holding my hand..all I say is i'm so sorry for your loss..i know how you feel..I just mostly had to deal with my mother because she didn't take it well at all..i leaned on my siblings and family to deal with it..
@jesusmyjoy (125)
• United States
19 Mar 10
It's hard dealing with our loved one's getting sick, but we must be patient and love them with all our love..I'm sure your dad new you we're there with him in spirit..he knows and he was holding your hand to rather yu we're there or not..
1 person likes this
