Should I forgive my father?
By blondie88
@blondie88 (2)
March 17, 2010 7:03pm CST
I am trying to get advice on forgiving my father who has done terrible things to my family. He did identity theft on me and racked up $7,000 in credit card debt to my name without my knowledge. I found that out when I checked my credit report. He changed my address to his house and all the collection letters and such were sent there so I was totally unaware of any of it. I am 21 years old about to graduate college. Not only did he do it to me but he did it to my brother and my mother. We did press charges against him and he is in jail. He was just diagnosed with bipoloar disorder and the doctors are saying he did these terrible things because of that. I am just having a hard time believing it was a disorder since it took alot of brain power to hide this for awhile. He does write letters apologizing and says he loves me with all his heart. But, should I forgive him or not? I am having a hard time since he is my father and I have put my trust in him all my life. I just never would have thought he would do anything like this. And how could I ever trust him again...
3 responses
@yresh12 (3212)
• Philippines
18 Mar 10
No matter what happens he is still your father. He did nasty things to you but the blood is thicker than water. Forgive him but just be careful this time. You know that you couldn't trust him. Have him checked if it's really true his having bipolar disorder. It should be better to treat him.
@raynejasper (2322)
• Philippines
18 Mar 10
..hi.. before I give my opinion, I'd like to ask if those mistakes he did was already settled when he went to jail? did the credit card companies stop letting you pay the debt made by your father into your credit card? Forgiving and forgetting will really take time.. its not that simple most especially that the one who did that is very close to your heart.. however, the wound in your heart will not heal unless you grant forgiveness to your father.. maybe, try to be more broadminded and consider also the sincerity of your father in asking for forgiveness.. Everybody deserves a second chance provided that they won't repeat the same mistake.. Of course, even if you'll forgive him, you don't have to force yourself into trusting him again.. always give a benefit of the doubt.. after all, he's your father and you owe your life to him.. he may have done terrible things that caused you pain and anxiety but you can help him to change for the better.. its just that, I'm not asking you to forgive him immediately.. as I've said, it will take time.. give yourself a break and when the time comes that you're ready to forgive, you may forgive him and accept him with open heart..
@artsyfartsygypsy (755)
• Canada
18 Mar 10
Anyone who did identity theft to me would be unforgiven in my life. I may be able to move on because he is my father, but I really dont know because Im not in that situation. Because he has bipolar disorder I guess that could have contributed but that dosnt explain or excus his actions. Good luck in whatever you decide.
