Do you think women and men can really just be friends?
By free_man
@free_man (7330)
United States
March 17, 2010 7:41pm CST
I seen this on some TV show today. Some experts said yes and some said to some extent. And it got me to thinking about it and I think yes it can be that women and men can be friends. I have always been a tom boy and have always had more male friends then women friends. I don't mean anything other then friends. And my husband is the same way he always has had more women friends. And when we used to just hang out before we got married we became real close friends. There was no hanky panky either we worked together. So yes I think women and men can be just friends. So what do you think can women and men just be friends? Do you have more male friends then ladies or vise a versa?
5 people like this
27 responses
@Ingkingderders (3832)
• Philippines
18 Mar 10
Yeah I think so, back in school, I had more male friends than girls, I'm just not one of those who had girlfriends and go to mall together, or go to the bathroom together, it's just not me. And now that I'm working, I think I have learned to balance it out, though I'm still more comfortable with guy friends rather than girls. ![](/Content/images/emotes/happy.gif)
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1 person likes this
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@Ingkingderders (3832)
• Philippines
20 Mar 10
Yup, that's true. Well, there are really just different types of people. ![](/Content/images/emotes/happy.gif)
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@free_man (7330)
• United States
19 Mar 10
Hi Ingkingderders. That is what it all boils down too. I am more comfortable with guys the women. I don't give a hoot about going to the mall with a bunch of women spending money. I am more of the type to spend only what I need to spend.I don't like chit chatting about nonsense either. I want to spend my life learning something useful.
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@pageantgirl31413 (96)
• United States
18 Mar 10
Yes I think you can. I am a big girly girl but all throughout high school, I was only friends with guys since I am not into drama. We have all been friends for years now and they are like brothers to me and I'm their sister. There are no feelings past that.
1 person likes this
@free_man (7330)
• United States
19 Mar 10
Hi Pageantgirl and welcome to my lot. That was the way it was when I was growing up since I had more brothers then sisters I hung out with the guys. My sisters was older then me and one younger then me and they were really into looking for a boy. Me all I wanted to do was learn new things I didn't think about boys like most girls. I have never been looking for a husband I find them without looking. But most of my friends have always been guys. No I am not gay/lesbian. I just wanted to know how to do what I needed to do without having to call some guy to get something fixed. I wanted to be able to work on my own car and on my own home that is mostly why I hung out with the guys.
@pageantgirl31413 (96)
• United States
19 Mar 10
Thanks! I completely agree. I love cars and would rather do it myself than find a guy to do it. That must be why I scored really high on Mechanical for my ASVAB. I agree with you also on the husband thing. I met mine when I was not looking for anyone. It was much better having the guy come after me than to run after him. There was just too much drama and gossip for me. The guys always made me feel very special when I hung out with them as well.
1 person likes this
@free_man (7330)
• United States
19 Mar 10
Hi Sid. I like having guy friends they don't judge who you are or what you look like. Most of the guys I have known like to do things and I am a person that loves to learn. Heck I used to be scare of being on the roof but now I know how to put a roof on so it is no problem any more.
@deedeehall (1144)
• United States
18 Mar 10
i for one do belive male and females can be friends iam a female and i just think males make better friends to women. they are not petty and catty trates i can hardley stand.i am married so i dont really have alot of male friends because my husband feels diffrent about this subject.
1 person likes this
@free_man (7330)
• United States
19 Mar 10
Hi Deedeehall. I have many male friends and my husband has many female friends we don't go to their home and hang out, but they come to our home and hang out and that is cool. I have met some women that I wouldn't give you a plug nickle for and I have met a few that I would give the shirt off my back for. But I have only met one or two guys that I just plain wish I had never met. It takes an open mind to see that it is only friendships.
@shynepapin101 (1879)
• United Arab Emirates
18 Mar 10
For me it depends on the areas of interest
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@free_man (7330)
• United States
18 Mar 10
Hi Shy and welcome to my lot. I am a tom boy I had more brothers then sisters and so I learned things like working on vehicles, working in the yard and building models. Just stuff that you don't usually see a woman doing. I guess that is why I have always made friends with guys more then I did with women. I like being able to hang out and that be all there is too it just hanging out with the guys. That is how I learned to be a carpenter and I really like building things with my own hands.
@shynepapin101 (1879)
• United Arab Emirates
18 Mar 10
and relationships do start from being friends..
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@tifychau (127)
• United States
18 Mar 10
I do think females and males could be just friends. I used to be a tomboy too and most of my friends were guys. We always just hung out and played sports together. I don't think there were any instances when we were ever attracted to each other. Even now I have guy friends and we still just hang out. nothing more.
1 person likes this
@free_man (7330)
• United States
18 Mar 10
Hi Tifychau and welcome to my lot. I knew I wasn't the only tomboy on here. I think it is cool the guys do some things that you just don't associate with women. Like building cars and construction. I like getting the rocks for our yard and building stuff.
@mr_pearl (5018)
• India
18 Mar 10
I also believe that there can be a genuine friendship between a man and a woman. In fact, love itself begins with being friends with each other. So we may safely say that your lover is your best buddy too. Personally, I have all kinds of male and female friends... And this issue had never popped into my mind, until I read this topic here.. Thanks for starting this discussion... :) Happy myLotting!
1 person likes this
@free_man (7330)
• United States
19 Mar 10
Hi Mr_Pearl. Your welcome. I just wanted to see if it what others tought. They had a short survey on TV the other day and it just didn't seem to go into all the things I thought should have been said. My husand and I wasn't looking for love when we found each other we became friends first. He is my best friend we know each others deepest secret. We share a lot of things in common right from the beginning.
@celticeagle (164045)
• Boise, Idaho
18 Mar 10
It really depends on the mind set. The best relationships begin with good friendships. I would say yes. I have had some very good man-friends in my life. There does always seem to be a bit of caring on one or the other side but it is respected and I have rarely had a problem. It is very healthy to have friends of both sexes.
1 person likes this
@free_man (7330)
• United States
18 Mar 10
Hi Celticeagle. Your right people have to have strong will and mind to stay just friends. Some do care more then others but maybe it is interpreted the wrong way and it really means just friends. It is healthy to have friends that you can talk to but never wise to talk about ones other partner and personal problems with anyone other your partner.
1 person likes this
@ninapuspitarini (80)
• Indonesia
18 Mar 10
Friendship between men and women was possible, but within certain limits, more than that, it is impossible, however, men and women are created different creatures, with the difference that there was interest in one another. In friendship we must put ourselves as brothers or sisters, willing to help whenever we needed, always wanted to protect, without any feelings of jealousy what if our friend with others. In my opinion a friendship between men and women should be tested by time, for example, the reaction of our friends when we walk with others, how when we are placed far away is it still giving each other the news, what if one choice to get married, etc. ... What if a few exams that they can do it, then I think the friendship they had ... yeah, maybe there's a feeling of love but love as far as brother or sister, without wanting to have her as a husband / wife, we're happy if our friends happy ...
1 person likes this
@free_man (7330)
• United States
18 Mar 10
Hi Minapuspitarini. I have had many male friends and that is all there was too it we are friends. My best friend is my husband I trust him with anything and everything and he feels the same way I do. Our marriage was a fluke, we started off as work friends and then as friends and by Gods hands we were thrown together. We worked together and it was nothing but friends. We still hang out and work together and we are almost always together.
@rorisricha (732)
• India
18 Mar 10
Yeah women and men can be friends it's again matter of age and the responsibility like married or not...if unmarried a women and men relationship may turn from friendship to love and then marriage and if married and still have friends it remains so like already settled in life and there's only friendship remains between them as already they have got their love....I have more women friends than men friends..
1 person likes this
@free_man (7330)
• United States
18 Mar 10
Hi Rorisricha. I find it easier to relate to men then women. I am a tomboy after all and I like working on cars and stuff that you don't normally see too many women doing. Or at least back in my younger days you didn't see many women that showed interest in the male field of work. I love it though and most guys I have met like that I don't ask them to fix things for me. I have met some guys that think women shouldn't do the kind of work I like to do. But the work is what keeps me strong and healthy. I think that is why God gave me the talents HE gave me.
@jules67 (2788)
• Philippines
18 Mar 10
There was this movie of Meg Ryan and Billy Cristal, "When Harry met Sally" wherein it says there that it is impossible for a man and a woman to be friends since there is a physical attraction between opposite sexes that will really make them attach to each other. But I guess it is possible if only we respect each other.
@Sophie2010 (144)
• China
18 Mar 10
Yeah,it's possible for men and women to be good friends especially at school time. But when they have their own boyfriend or girlfriend even get merried,I think it's a little hard for them to keep close relationship then. They have their own life at that time.
1 person likes this
@free_man (7330)
• United States
18 Mar 10
Hi Sophie and welcome to my lot. I think that even if they have boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife they can still be friends you have to include your spouse in your personal life too. I have a real strong relationship with my husband he has female friends and I have guy friends. We hang out together most of the time but we still have our private time with our friends too. But most of the time it is at our home where we entertain friends.
@kgirjapurkar (175)
• India
18 Mar 10
Not alwasy if they r away then it is ok but when they r near to each other then it is like fuel and fire so i dont think it is possible.People may differ from me just to show their greatness about this feeling but the truth is stranger than fiction always
1 person likes this
@haniku17 (112)
•
18 Mar 10
Yes. It is definitely possible that men and women can just be friends. In the tv series Friends, Joey and Phoebe remained friends and nothing became romantic between them. I know it's not real but I think it somehow reflects reality. It really depends if you are both attracted to each other.
1 person likes this
@kquiming (2997)
• Philippines
18 Mar 10
I think men and women can only be friends to a certain extent, and it's up to you if you want to call that "good friendship" because I would define real friendship to be close-knit and more than just casual. I think it's a question with a yes and no answer, depending on how you define the word "friends". I think it's very likely the one of the two will sooner or later fall for the other in the course of their friendship especially if the two have already shared so many things / experience together. Like a couple.
1 person likes this
@free_man (7330)
• United States
18 Mar 10
Hi Kquiming. Before my husband became my husband we started off right off the bat talking about anything and everything. We have always been real tight heck we now spend 24/7 with each other and we still find new things to discuss. There isn't anything that we don't know about each other. I know his deepest secret and he knows my deepest secret. We have always been tight right off the bat. I still have male friends from my youth and we can all sit around and chat about anything. I don't take friendship lightly that is more of an acquaintances. I think it all depends on the people too. But all the male friends I have made in my life knew it was just friendships and we always had a great time.
@Ritchelle (3790)
• Philippines
18 Mar 10
the fact that men and women just don't find each other inviting friends to their wedding or in bed all at once is already a sign that falling in love is something two people decide upon. it's not mere physical attraction that nobody can deny ever happening even in the recesses of our minds but acting on that attraction is the one that differentiates those who can easily act upon mere attraction and those that consider a lot of things first before taking an important aspect as having a relationship.
1 person likes this
@monkeylong (3139)
• Guangzhou, China
18 Mar 10
As far as I am concerned, I think I think women and men can just be friends when they get together. For me, I think I have many many frineds ,who are girls, I can have a good relationship with them ,not the relastion as girl friend between boyfriend.If women and men can not be friends, you see, I am one the example who can just be friends when together.
1 person likes this
@silverjapan (233)
• Romania
18 Mar 10
I'm a male and I have more male friends than female friends, but I'm much more open in discussion with female friends, when I'm with male friends, we tend to be competitive so I don't really share my weaknesses, personal stuff and such, but I'm totally open with female friends, and we can just talk about anything really, and just be friends, we may sometimes kiss or something for fun and games, after all we are young people, but nothing intimate, we all have boyfriends and girlfriends, it's totally cool.
1 person likes this
@artsyfartsygypsy (755)
• Canada
18 Mar 10
I am friends with guys and just that so I think it is possible. Howver I also think that eventually the people involved in this type of relationship will experience feelings for one anotehr eventually.
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@free_man (7330)
• United States
18 Mar 10
Hi Artsy. I think it is possible to be friends if you start it right off the bat talking and discussing the things that your not looking for. Or at least it always worked for me in my past friendships with guys. When my husband and I met it was work and that is all it was. I was married and he was just out of a relationship. My ex beat me up and my now husband stepped in and saved me from being killed. But that didn't cause the break up from my ex it was over him beating me everytime he turned around cause he was drunk. My now husband told him he couldn't beat on me anymore and left it at that. A month or so went by and I kept working cause my ex wouldn't work all he wanted to do was stay drunk. And one night after my birthday when I got home from work he had locked the door and put a couch in front of it. My now husband said I could come and stay with him and so I did. My husband now is my best friend.
@pilson (94)
• United States
18 Mar 10
I think it is not an easy task to build real friendship between women and men, at least for the people around my life, I can't see that any women have real friendships with other men, although there are usually some good friendships between some of them. I have an example about my classmates in college, a girl and a guy were very good friends, and soon, the guy fell in love with that girl, but who didn't have the same feelings, consequently, they friendship was over.
1 person likes this
@free_man (7330)
• United States
18 Mar 10
Hi Pilson and welcome to my lot. I have always had male friends and it be nothing but friends. I think that friendships have to be earned and kept on a friendship basis. My husband that I have now became my friend and we work together. He never made a pass at me while I was with my ex and I never made a pass at him while I was with my ex. We just have so much in common and became buddies. We started off working doing odd jobs cause my ex wouldn't work so my friend (my new husband) had some work that he needed help with he asked my ex and my ex said I would be better at helping him. And so my now husband didn't want to do this but he needed help with a job and I needed money so we started working together. It was never anything but friends hanging out working together. But right after my birthday my ex started to beat on me and my friend stepped in and said it wasn't going to happen ever again. And I thank God for that. My ex locked me out and that is how I moved in with my now husband.
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