How to teach responsibility?

I'm a big supporter of consequences, both natural and invoked..forget your coat you are cold, forget your ball glove do the 300 push-ups the coach doles out. I also have always been one of those parents that follow through..If you choose A..B will happen..period. I have been like this since my first one was born 28 years ago and it seems to work for me, they have always known I meant what I said. And that while they could always count on me for support and being there for them they were responsible for trying to figure it out and solve their own problems and clean up their own mess. It has been my experience that boys just lose things, not because they are irresponsible or careless but just because they do, maybe it is because boys tend to focus on what is of front of them. It has also been my experience that once they own a car, everything that has ever been mis-placed can be found in that car. Maybe less talking bounce, ask about homework once, if he doesn't do it let the teacher be the bad guy and let him deal with her consequences, when he says something to you, you will have the chance to point out that school is his job and while you empathize with him you are also aware that he is the one that didn't do his homework. I once saw my jock benched for failing to turn in a book report and becoming grade ineligible, it never happened again, my daughter lost her recesses in the second grade for a week because she had to make up the papers she had failed to finish, I didn't have to yell or scold, just pat her on the shoulder and tell her that I was sure she would never let that happen again, she didn't. Sometimes in parenting that old adage applies.."Less is More".

hi bounce58 why not try stickers, make a collage of them,one for every time he remembers to do his homework, or where he put his things, and two maybe f or bringing home his jacket and lunch kit from school. the days he forgets he gets no stickers, maybe at the end of a week with a lot of stickers he could get a reward like a quarter or fifty cents, these are incentives to do what he should be doing. they do work.These worked with my son, sadly he is now fifty and he now misplaces his cell phone and me I am 83 and have misplaced three jackets here at Gold c rest and somehow they evaporated into thin air or someone elses room. If I see one of them I am going to have a hissy fit and tell the wearer I want back the jacket you stole.

I do not think you can teach responsibility, you have to learn it by seeing it in others. For example teaching our children to tell the truth, when we do not tell the truth ourselves. In order for us to learn personal responsibility, we have to be aware that there are consequences, if we do not do this. You used your son, not remembering to bring home a jacket, putting away his stuff . My question to you is what happens when he does all this stuff, do you send him back for the jacket or just tell him he is forgetful, do you assist him in finding his stuff when he forgets where he put it. Make him do the work , right now he knows you will find or assist him out of a bad time. Let him be late or do with out lunch or what ever it is just until he learns he MUST take responsibility for himself, and not expect others to do it for him.

I've helped to raise four boys, and they turned out well. I never had to bail them out of jail, and none of them smashed up my car. Kids are born smart. They watch their parents from day one. Everything the parents say and do, is recorded in their little heads. The logical approach to teaching your kids is by association. If you are tidy around the house, your kids will automatically be tidy too. If you swear, and use dirty language, there is no use of expecting your kids to talk like a Pastor. If you smoke, you can be sure they will smoke too. If Daddy does it its Kool! This is why there is no use talking to your kids! Kids will do as you do, and say as you say!

We have a reward chart at home, but we haven't started using it yet. Maybe Naomi the sock queen will stop leaving them in a trail behind her when she gets home and all three of them will start doing their homework without being asked, put their laundry away, pooper scoop on their day, etc. Then again, maybe I'm just a cockeyed optimist!

I am not sure. Maybe try a point system where each of these tasks are worth certain points. Then there are certain privileges or items when he gets so many designated points. And maybe he needs to get so many points per day or he loses privileges. It's only one suggestion!

I don't have a child. But I do have 3 younger brothers. Currently, me and my 2 brothers are "teaching" my youngest brother to play less and study more. He tend to have his face glued to the computer and hands to the keyboard and mouse. We tend to be as much as a role model to our youngest brother so that he cannot find fault in what we do. We try to bring out life examples of what we have done before, and he as part of the family should help in households too, other than study and play. there are times we have to bring him through the process of getting things done instead of just repeating the instructions over and over again. Doing it with him seems to help a lot. As he seems more of a hands-on person than a theory one.