Are you the kind 2 hold on 2 friends no matter what or 2 move on & find new ones
By Bearballew
@Bearballew (1148)
United States
March 18, 2010 2:31pm CST
I have some friends that no matter what I will do my best to stay in their lives. Email, Christmas cards, invitations to come visit. Then there are others that have slipped away. We went through amazing things together, but now they can't be found. I'm not too into making new friends on purpose. What happens happens.
How about you? Do you move mountains for friendships or make new ones?
9 people like this
27 responses
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
18 Mar 10
This is going to be a difficult discussion to respond to as I am not sure exactly what to say or how to explain it. I do want to respond though so I will try my best to explain without making anyone any more confused then they already are by me!
Hmm, Well I used to have a group of friends. I guess you could say I was young. I did what I could for them, paid the ticket that a friend got at the beach on a vacation we went on together, paid for their insurance so their mom wouldn't freak out, I've even taken one friend out to eat constantly and paid for the person's gas. The gas I did because they did drive me around a lot. Well Then there was a friend that was mutual, we did things together and paid for each other because we liked doing so. We were respectful of each other. That friend I suppose I miss the most, but I do have to say I kind of miss my friends.
I won't go back to being friends with them as I was made to realize they were using me and being rude, they didn't accept my now husband it seemed so I didn't bother with them . They dropped me like a sack of potatoes when I met my husband so I said "okay whatever". I cried though, I cried and cried until I realized there's no use shedding tears.
So as to answer your question, I did try to hold on to them before we stopped being friends, I did a lot for one friend though I was being used, but would I ever try to contact them again? I seriously doubt it.
3 people like this
@GardenGerty (159754)
• United States
19 Mar 10
As you are becoming more mature, I hope that you will make friends that are the kind that you hold each other up,with no using. They need to be the kind that support you in your marriage and do not pick or try to make you mad at your husband. I have two friends like that.If we want to gripe a little about our hubbies, we will, but we all know that no matter what, our husbands are our partners. We respect that. We are able to go places as couples occasionally, but we also go just for "girl times". They would never dream of being negative about my husband, nor would I disrespect theirs. Their personalities compliment mine, and we enjoy the time we spend together.We all also know that our families come first. We can be silly, or we can talk the deep serious sister type talks and know that we will be respected.
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
19 Mar 10
That is a very beautiful friendship right there! My husband and I have mutual friends now, which were his friends first. To be honest we've kind of drifted apart from most of them except for one of his closest friends that is also maybe related to me, Him and his girlfriend and another close friend are the ones we talk with the most. We don't disrespect each other's partners either, but since there's only one other girl we don't really have girl talks! I'm fine with that though, when I need to vent it's my husband or an empty word document for me.
@saphrina (31551)
• South Africa
18 Mar 10
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@primeaque86 (8108)
• Philippines
18 Mar 10
Real friends are so rare in this planet....
Hi sweetie...![](/Content/images/emotes/rofl.gif)
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1 person likes this
@ibuemma (2953)
• United States
18 Mar 10
Most of the times I move on. There are very few of good, good friends that I still keep till these days. And their kind is really hard to find for me. People these days is just so busy with lifes. That's including me. And it's just so different the way life goes when you are not single anymore.
2 people like this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
18 Mar 10
hi bearballew Yes I find I do hang on to my old friends. as
old friends are gold but new ones are only silver. i will
do anything to keep the few friends I already have, anything,
they mean a lot to me, and I do not make many friends as
I am pretty shy and reserved.![](/Content/images/emotes/thumbup.gif)
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1 person likes this
@dawnald (85147)
• Shingle Springs, California
19 Mar 10
I'm somewhere in between. I wouldn't say I move mountains, but sometimes I do make more effort than the other person. Eventually if I never hear back from somebody, I give up!
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
19 Mar 10
im the type that if the friendship is good i will stick with it forever.. but i have had a lot of friends use me or just go psycho on me and treat me like crap and i love myself enough to not let that go on for long.. i try to figure out what the problem is but if the person is just being a jerk for no reason i move on.. why let the people that are suppose to help you through life tear you down? i rather move on and keep myself around people that are going to at least be there for now and always.. wasting your time on people that are undeserving is keeping you away from a friend that you cold have that could really appreciate you and your friendship
@eshaan (6188)
• India
19 Mar 10
anyone who came in my life with love and friendship will never be allowed to go away...
...yes..i am not the kind like leaving the old ones and move with the new ones....maybe i get more new friends but olds are golds
....so i will stay with them always...sometimes in life it happens that we don't remain in too much contact, but that doesn't mean that we have left those friends...whenever we meet we meet with same sweetness and love.....![](/Content/images/emotes/thumbup.gif)
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@autumndreamer (3185)
• Philippines
19 Mar 10
Well, I don't forget my friends no matter what happens to us unless if they betray me. But if we just move to another place, it will not be a reason for me to forget them. I'm open to finding new friends. It's good that you can still communicate with old friends and you're having new friends. The more, the merrier, right? You don't have to worry. Are you sure there is no other way they can be found? If they cannot be really found anymore, still be open to making new friends. ![](/Content/images/emotes/happy.gif)
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@EnslinPorter (1718)
• Philippines
19 Mar 10
I kind of suck when it comes to maintaining friends. But I still value my old friends and meet new ones. I rely on anyone who invites me or initially makes contact with me. When there's an invitation, I try to go. I just went to around 5 parties of old high school friends since October until last week and I'm hoping for more. I have added to my Facebook all my friends and am so glad to have found my old friends in grade school. As for new friends, I had a lot when I was in college and I met a few at my previous work. I find it fun to have different circles of friends. ![](/Content/images/emotes/happy.gif)
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@bestboy19 (5478)
• United States
19 Mar 10
I probably have acquaintances rather than friends. I'm never bothered when we each go our separate ways.
@calai618 (1773)
• Philippines
19 Mar 10
i am the type of person who doesnt have a lot of friends. i am not very outgoing and outspoken and i dont get to meet a lot of people. but those that are very dear to me, i really treasure. once a friend of mine, always a friend of mine. even though time passes by without any hi or hello but we all know in our hearts that we are friends..
@sheen13 (567)
• India
19 Mar 10
I am the kind of person who holds on my close friends whatever happens. Because I feel that friens are needed all through the life, as we can share everything to them. I have 2 close friends, with whom I spend most of the time talking, sharing emotions and stuff. And if I don't talk to them for a day, my whole day will go boring. So, I just can't imagine my life without close friends. Whereas, when I talk about others who are my friends as well except my close friends, I will let them go, if they want to. And if they want to patch up again, I'm ready but leaving my close friends, I just can't tolearte it!:)
@avani26 (1518)
• India
19 Mar 10
Actually I am the ones who would move mountains for my friends but I cannot make friends at the drop of a hat. Yes I am quite choosy when I make friendship, ususually my best friends said that I was looking v no nonsense type person but after we became friends and I just like a kid.
I have just 2 ery close friends and no matter what we will always remain close. I could make new friends but they will always remain in my life.
@GardenGerty (159754)
• United States
19 Mar 10
I have a couple I would move mountains for, they are like sisters to me. Others, who were close at one time, do not make the minimal effort to meet me halfway. They have new things and new friends in their lives, and they move on. I stay here, in one place, and can be found if they wanted to look. I have sent e mails, made phone calls and written letters. I also know that sometimes the things one gets dealt in life can detour you, and that is what I see in a particular three friends I am thinking of. I do not go seeking new friends, but I am friendly when I meet new people. I am at a stage right now where I am making some really good friends here and on another website. I have met one friend, last year, and I hope to meet another one next week, who only lives a half hour from here. I have a friend on MyLot that I want to go see when I go to Oklahoma again, as I regard her as a niece, and a sweet young lady.
@kykidd (6812)
• United States
19 Mar 10
I think I must have the hardest times making friends, so I don't have a whole lot of them. Funny thing, you started this discussion, because I have one friend that I have known for over 13 years. Seems like we have just fallen apart. She just assumes everything is ok, and then I don't hear from her. Whereas, I am worried something is wrong, and try to get ahold of her constantly. Then finally when I asked, she is like there is nothing wrong, and that I am blowing a certain situation out of proportion. But I think if things were really ok, I would hear from her. And she is just hiding from me so that she doesn't have to deal with the discussion.
Well, anyway, to answer your question, I try hard to keep my friendships. But it seems like the other people don't work on them at all.
@celticeagle (164045)
• Boise, Idaho
19 Mar 10
I am not one to have to have alot of friends. I am into quality, not quantity. I think if I get along with someone and we have things incommon then it works. If it doesn't why waste the time. You can't nurture something that doesn't exist and time is marching on. Ya know what I mean?
@meticulo (1286)
• United States
19 Mar 10
I am a true friend and I believe friends will be friends no matter what. I can say I have a a lot of friends though only very few are real. I can just count them with my fingers. Friends do come and go. I am not looking out for them. They just come as acquintances and then it's up to you if you want to make it last longer. Do I have to move mountains for friendship's sake? Definitely yes! I will do whatever it takes just as long as she/he is open to that idea too. I believe friends are angels sent from above. They make my life happy.So if you want a friend for life,try me! lol...Have a very nice day Bearballew!
@lassielee (134)
• China
19 Mar 10
Uh...When I gone to college,I lost many friends.Of course,they are ordinary friends.Now,I used QQ(a chinese chat tool) & MSN to contact with my friends.
I always make new friends.
I can remeber a song,its lyrics "No matter what happens we cannot forget our friends(old ones or new ones)"
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