Have you ever been warned not to date someone?
By katsmeow1213
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
United States
March 20, 2010 12:05pm CST
I remember 2 specific times I was warned about a person I'd recently begun dating.
Once, a male friend attempted to warn me about the guy I'd just started seeing. He told me my new boyfriend was a liar and a cheat. I did not pay attention. I didn't know the boyfriend too well, we were just getting to know each other still. The friend was a male friend, who I assumed had a bit of a crush on me, and probably didn't know the boyfriend well enough to really give such a warning. I dated the boyfriend for a year and a half... during which time I realized the warning had been correct. The boyfriend was a liar and a cheat, and so much more. To this day I have trust issues because of him.
A few months after I broke up with that boyfriend, I began dating another guy. This guy had been a good friend for almost 2 years before we started dating, so I already knew him very well. One day after we'd begun dating I ran into a girl he and I used to work with. We didn't know her well outside of work.. all I knew is that she'd been with my ex.. while I was with him. She attempted to give me a warning about my newest boyfriend. I forget now exactly what the warning was, but I believe it was something along the lines of he isn't who he's pretending to be. Again I didn't listen, because I'd already known him so long and since I'd been with someone else for the majority of our friendship, I didn't see why he'd have any need to pretend to be someone he's not around me.
Well, as it turns out, her warning was absolutely incorrect, because 9 years later, I'm still with that same guy, and still quite happy, and he's still exactly who he was all those years ago.
Has anyone ever tried to warn you about someone you were dating? Did you listen to the warnings? Were the warnings correct? How did it work out?
3 people like this
9 responses
@kate1356 (697)
• United States
20 Mar 10
I have never been warned not to date someone but I have felt it was my duty to warn a friend when she started dating another guy friend of mine back in college. This guy friend would tell me stories about the woman he used to date and I just felt she should know the situation she was getting into. She was the type that was looking for a serious boyfriend and he was the type that wanted to casually date a handful of girls at once.
She insisted on thinking the worse about me.. that I secretly wanted to go out with my guy friend and that I was jealous that he had asked her out on a date instead of me (which couldn't have been further from the truth...).
Well, she did hang out with him (I wouldn't call getting drunk at his apt "dating").. for about a week and a half.. until he told me that she was way too clingy for his tastes and he no loner wanted to see her. And that was it.. he stopped visiting her at our dorm and stopped calling with no explanation. (The funny thing is that this guy was the most thoughtful and loyal friend.. just a jerk when it came to the women he dated).
Despite being right about the situation.. I never warned a friend about anyone again.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
20 Mar 10
Did you and the other girl remain friends? It's too bad women don't listen to warnings, it would save them so much heart ache! I would be hesitant to warn a friend about her new boyfriend also, just because I know women don't listen, and would not take the warning as a good intention.
1 person likes this
@kate1356 (697)
• United States
21 Mar 10
This situation was a big heads up for me about how this one particular girl treats her friends. She was a little too quick too think the worst of me when I was never even interested in having a boyfriend in college. We did remain friends throughout college.. but in my mind things were never really the same after that incident. It's a shame too since we very pretty close before that.
1 person likes this
@3SnuggleBunnies (16374)
• United States
20 Mar 10
I was warned once about my hubby. Just the usual he was up to bad things. Turns out he was playing those people seeing I met him in a chat room. *LOL* Ya know one of the many that like to put on airs about themselves either that their a badarse, rich, poor whatever KWIM?
I'll be married 10yrs in 2 months and togeather for 12.
1 person likes this
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
20 Mar 10
The problem with warnings is sometimes you might run across someone who just doesn't like who your dating. That doesn't make them a bad person, or bad for you, it just means they don't get along with that person. Usually we have to learn for ourselves if they're truly bad or not... and often if they are bad we'll get our hearts broken in the process. But sometimes it still works out, like in the case of your hubby.. and mine!
1 person likes this
@ravinskye (8237)
• United States
22 Mar 10
Wow that's a pretty cool story. I'd find that girl and rub it in her face lol. I don't think anyone has ever warned me not to go out with anyone. At least not that I can remember. Although probably because I didn't really go out with many people before I met my husband. I think you have to consider who is doing the warning. A close friend or family member is usually doing it out of real concern and love. A stranger might have other motives. I'm glad you didn't listen to her and gave it a chance!
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
22 Mar 10
I would not have listened to her either way, as I said I didn't know her well, and already didn't like her cause she'd slept with my ex while I was with him... and yes she knew he was dating me! The 2 of them would flirt right in front of me.. they were both jerks.
@clamarco808 (312)
• United States
21 Mar 10
my husband's uncle was warned not to marry his current wife by her OWN father. he should've listened cause she's something else!! i was warned about an ex-boyfriend but decided that i would give him the benefit of the doubt. 3 years into the relationship, i finally gave up & left him after having a daughter w/ him, being abused beyond imagination physically, mentally, emotionally. so, it's a hit & miss deal though. you never know if someone has a motive for warning you about someone or it they're doing it to save you.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
22 Mar 10
My ex-boyfriend tried to warn me about my current boyfriend (now my husband). Said he was very unemotional and didn't think he cared about me. At the time, I remember thinking, "well of course he isn't going to bare all his emotions to YOU".
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
22 Mar 10
Exactly, so I wonder what the heck he was thinking. And two guys who are interested in the same girl especially don't do that!
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
22 Mar 10
Well that's true, guys don't bare emotions to each other.
1 person likes this
@cloud31 (5809)
•
20 Mar 10
Yah during my teenage,my parents usually did the warning,and of course since they are more experienced than I always make things right for them and I know that they just want things for me in order and no harm will be done..I always listen to a warned by others and make a better consideration..But now I'm a bit mature my parents give all the rights for me to decide and to look over myself as they said they know and they believe I can make a better choice..A parents trust can build a better self esteem..
Happy myLotting!
@anurag3786 (6267)
• India
21 Mar 10
No i never warned by anyone not to date someone... i think it's our personal matter and why other peoples do interfere with this matter... and it is not a bad things when you are going on date with someone... i think it is a better way to know your partner to going with them on a date... have a nice day and keep mylotting always...
@p3ks626 (6538)
• Philippines
21 Mar 10
When I was younger my mom always warned me to never date guys she doesnt know. lol She wants me to date those guys that she knows. I think it makes sense though because my parents wants to know the person for them to know if I am going to be taken cared for in the best way possible. I had bunch of boy friends who go to our house before but they didnt mind me going out with them because she knows them. Those boys didnt have other intentions either, we were just really good friends.
