split opinions

Thanks quita I am trying so hard I just don't know what to do. I just know if I have to live this hell another winter I don't think I can take any more.

Ok. Let's work with this. TEll hubby exactly what you tell me. Tell him quietly and calmly how you feel and ask him if he'd reconsider and do what is best for the both of you. It could be there is something else bothering your husband. I honestly do not think you two have sat down and discussed this move in an adult manner. I feel you might be hovering on being afraid to tell him how you feel for fear he'll blow up at you. Do not be afraid to tell him what you feel !! It's a matter of clearing the air for the both of you. In fact more than likely you both have issues you have not discussed. I go about what I want by planting little seeds in the mind of my husband and given time he comes around to my way of thinking----most of the time !! He has his good points and I have mine and I'm sure it's the same with you two. A discussion is just that, a discussion. Nothing is written in stone at any particualar minute. Take time to plant your seed of either doubt or want to in your husbands mind. That works for me but be adult about it. hugs sweetie, I do hope I've helped. quita

Thanks quita I'll do the discussion again. I've tried and he did blow. Maybe given more time like maybe in summer when he is there and is having a good time in other place we can discuss again. All I can do is try. Thank you for advice and responces. Hugs back at ya. overwith

Thanks for giving me more details. I think she is possessive type and she is bent upon seeing that you both separate. Any reaction from your husband and especially you would only aggravate the situation. Your husband too knows this. He loves his daughter and he does not want to hurt her by taking sides. I see, while everything else is a challenge this one is the real problem. Please do not react to anything she does, this would antagonize her more than ever. You can win her over with love. I do not see any other way. Bye and take care.

Sorry but she was 14 when we got married she now is 30. It has went on for years. The other house is not in another country it is in another county that is about 3 hours away. Thanks for taking the time to read my post and having the compassion to give advice. I feel the challenge was when his daughter was still a teenager. Now that she is 30 and still saying she don't want us thgether it has become a problem as I think I should be able to have a reasonable relationship with my husband without having to defend myself with everything I do. If I keep one of my grandchildren for a night by my natural children then I have to defend myself as to why I did that. I keep her children all the time because my husband wouldn't have it any other way. I love her children more than life and do not take out my problems on them because I am their grandma in every way except blood. I am closest to her oldest than I am to my grandchildren by blood I can't explain why but he seems to need the most. Her children don't even excape her rath she does this to everyone she comes in contact with. Everyone sees it except her and her dad. As I said thank you anyway for your response and having concern enough to reply.

achilles thank you maybe this would help. I'm trying very hard. For the first years I only smiled and would go about things as if they were great. I showed more love than I can give anymore. How far should a person be expected to go with someone that hates you. Although she says she don't I can't help but feel that she does. I would never ask my husband to give up his daughter as I have said I would never give mine up. All I ask is now that they are all grown why can't we live the life we deserve? You have great advice and lots of compassion thank you for being nice and not making me feel selfish.

Well I know this is going to sound like this is typical your side my side of the family. It truly is not I get along with most of his famly and his sister is my best friend on the whole world. I will be friends with anyone. Ask any who know me and they will tell you if one can't get along with me then you can't get along with anyone. Our problem is his daughter she was early teens when we got married and she told both of us that she didn't want us to get married no mattr what. She liked me and would visit me and my children before the marriage. She just didn't want her dad to get married. That was 12 years ago and I have been there for her through thick and thin when noone else even her dad was not there for her. She tells everyone that I am the only one that will help her with all she needs and she still does not want her dad and me to be married. Living within 10 miles of her is very hard and she is always at our house trying to cause trouble. I don't understand this at all. I know my husband won't back out of her life for good and I would never ask that of him, as I wouldn't ever do that to mine. My children are also grown and living their own lives and they visit but it is always to let me be with my grandchildren. We are in our late forties and early fifties. I feel it's time for us to have us time. We have that in the other county and never fight when we are there. Everybody has disagrements but they are always talked through and now everything is out of hand. Thank you for your response I need all advice I can get.