Is it alright for guys to carry bags for the ladies?
By warvial
@warvial (1146)
Singapore
March 22, 2010 11:13am CST
Do you think that it is alright for guys to you carry bags for ladies? I am not referring to guys carrying ladies' bag. I mean guys who help the ladies to carry their bag during shopping trips etc.
I have heard of people criticizing that guys shouldn't pamper ladies by offering to carry their bags and many negative comments such as the guy must have wanted to desperately to carry a lady design bag or the guy must be very fearful of the lady to help her carry the bag etc...
- If you think it is not good for guys to do so, then what if the lady in question is his mom, wife or girlfriend or someone in need? Does it still seem to be that bad?
- Ladies, do you think you will let or want your guy friend or even boyfriend to help you carry your bag?
- And guys, what do you think about carrying bag for the ladies?
- What's your view on guys who carry the bag for ladies?
4 people like this
28 responses
@Biomechanoid (2923)
• Estonia
22 Mar 10
I don't think it's alright, I think it's almost mandatory for men to help ladies with carrying heavy luggage. Most of the women are weaker than most of the men, so I think that men should help women with that. It won't cause much trouble to carry womans bag while she is shopping.
1 person likes this
@Biomechanoid (2923)
• Estonia
23 Mar 10
Well, if it's a ladies bag that is used for keeping purse, documents, make-up accessories and other personal items, then I think that woman should carry this one on her own.
@warvial (1146)
• Singapore
23 Mar 10
Hi, same thoughts as many kind mylotters too!
But definitely, I won't treat it as mandatory because it might become something that I will take it for granted and thus, I will see it as a kind act and appreciate the person offering his helping hand to the person in need.
But what is your view on a guy who is carrying just the lady handbag, and I am referring to the situation where the bag is light, easy to carry and of female design. Do you think the guy should be helping the lady with her bag in this situation as well? Or you think it would be better if the lady carries the bag herself?
@warvial (1146)
• Singapore
23 Mar 10
Yes, I share the same thoughts that it's fine if we are referring to offering a helping hand when the lady is in need of one, and so far, none of the kind people in mylots think it's wrong.
However, if it's just purely her handbag, one that is light, easy to carry and of lady design, do you think it's appropriate for the guy to be carrying it for the lady? Do you think it's necessary and makes a good impression of a guy?
@mr_pearl (5018)
• India
23 Mar 10
I don't think there is anything wrong with it, if the lady is decent enough to be thankful to the guy who is helping her. I have personally been helpful to my Mom, my cousin and my ex, while shopping.. The thing is that that the mind of a lady isn't that well organized and they're bound to forget things, drop things etc. Hence, it becomes an act of a gentleman for them to carry the bags. There is nothing wrong with it!
I know there are some inconsiderate men who think it is a panzy act 
or unmanly to help a lady with her bags, while shopping. And trust me, such men can never understand women. I pity for such unfortunate men...
Have a good time! 
or unmanly to help a lady with her bags, while shopping. And trust me, such men can never understand women. I pity for such unfortunate men...
Have a good time! @mr_pearl (5018)
• India
23 Mar 10
Oh.... I wouldn't include carrying handbag in helping... That complicates the matter... I have never done that and wouldn't do, unless it is entirely necessary. Moreover, I don't think any woman would be willing to part with her handbag, for the shortest amount of time. Just my thought based upon my experience... Happy myLotting!
@warvial (1146)
• Singapore
23 Mar 10
Hi, thanks for sharing.
Allow me to clarify myself as I think I got the wrong message across. What I meant was, the people who criticize the guy as the guy in question carries all the bag for the lady, including her handbag which is light and easy to carry. They felt that it's over-pampering the ladies because the handbag can be carried by the lady herself.
Personally, I don't mind guys doing that (carrying all the bags including the lady's handbag) but I don't let my boyfriend carry my handbag for me unless it's unisex design and it's very heavy.
@gunagohan (3414)
• India
23 Mar 10
Well there is no mistake or harm in carrying a bag from ur mom when she is carrying more bags, this will reduce some load for her..
I will carry some of the bags if my mother is carrying more bags, but my mother will not allow me to carry any of the bags..
The second part,some of the boys who have a girl friend will be carrying their girl's bag to show affection and there is no harm in doing so, but i don't have a girl friend so i never carry any..
@gunagohan (3414)
• India
23 Mar 10
it would not be good to carry the handbag of a girl, it would be looking in the parallel way..
the boys should say no to handbags,
boys could carry the college bags of their girl, but surely not the handbag, because we have to think of the public looking at us..
@warvial (1146)
• Singapore
23 Mar 10
Yes, I always make sure I carry all if not most of her shopping bags for my mom too as I don't want her to be taking heavy stuffs.
And I agree it's very nice of the boyfriend to carry the bags for the ladies, but what if it's her handbag, one that is light, easy to carry and of female design. Would you think it's appropriate for the guy to be carrying just the handbag for her?
Personally, I won't let my boyfriend carry it for me.
1 person likes this
@aphroditelily (172)
• Philippines
23 Mar 10
The girls usually feel special if a guy asks to carry her bag. If it's a guy friend, it's not really common though, but it would be nice for a suitor, boyfriend or a husband to carry the girl's bag. Besides, it's being courteous and gentlemanly, nothing really negative about it.
@warvial (1146)
• Singapore
23 Mar 10
Actually for me, I didn't really think much when my boyfriend helps me take my shopping bags until this discussion that I started did I realized how caring he is towards me. It's really does makes one felt very special to be treated in such delicate ways.
When I mentioned about some people criticizing guys carrying bags for the ladies, it's because the guy carries all the bags for the ladies, including her handbag. They felt that the guy seems to be over-pampering the lady for doing that.
And for me, I won't let my boyfriend carry that unless I am not well etc because it's not something very difficult to be carried by myself.
@warvial (1146)
• Singapore
24 Mar 10
If the guy insist because he knows it's heavy or you are unwell etc, then it's a very kind act. But if he insisted without reading enough that you really meant a "No, I want to carry it myself", I will still said no because I will think it's quite weird, like he is up to no good. But it's a close friend, then of course I won't have such negative thoughts.
@aphroditelily (172)
• Philippines
23 Mar 10
Haha I guess letting the guys carry the shopping bags is okay, especially if it's heavy, and the guy offers some help. But I too would feel awkward if he carried my handbag. But it's still nice if the guy offers to carry something that looks heavy that the girl is carrying. It's a little sign of caring. Of course, sometimes my feminist side says, "I can carry this, really, I can," but I'm not sure if refusing to give it to them so would be a good thing or a bad thing. But I still appreciate their thoughtfulness.
@basqui (3888)
• Philippines
23 Mar 10
Well, a gentleman should do so. I remember myself carrying the books of my girl when i was in college. She was into nursing course so her books are many at times. Some have lots of pages but i helped her because i care for her.
I remember my bestfriend before hate to carry his girl's purse or bag so his girlfriend have to carry it for herself when we they go out. He would always say that, "It's your bag, carry it!"
@warvial (1146)
• Singapore
23 Mar 10
That's very nice of you. I bet that the girl will treat that day that you helped her out as her lucky days. Although it's not uncommon, but I believe not every person will lend a helping hand to the person in need.
Regarding the handbag, I do find it more appropriate for ladies to carry it themselves unless the bags are very heavy or they aren't feeling well.
@basqui (3888)
• Philippines
24 Mar 10
Yes, too bad we are not together anymore but we are still friends and of course she always treasures the times we were together. I miss her, she's abroad right now working.
My friend married that girl and happily living together. Oh, i forgot, he is abroad too right now working in a fastfood chain in the middle east.
@laglen (19759)
• United States
23 Mar 10
I think it is wonderful when men act like gentlemen. I wish more men would.
@sid556 (30959)
• United States
23 Mar 10
hi warvial,
I've actually never heard anyone complain about such a thing. I see men carrying woman's bags all the time. I've had guys offer to help me carry my bags. If I can manage them just fine, I may decline and thank them for the offer. It isn't because I see anything wrong with it but because I don't see the point in putting them out of their way when they are not heavy at all. I think it is a nice gesture to offer anyone that is struggling with their bags to offer to help regardless of gender. If I am struggling then I glad accept and appreciate the offer. I can't imagine why anyone would find fault with such a simple gesture of kindness.
@warvial (1146)
• Singapore
23 Mar 10
Hi sid55, it's not really a complaint. It's a negative statement that is made because the guy is spotted carrying all the bags for the lady, including her handbag which is light and easy to carry.
For shopping bags, it's a very nice gesture for the guy to offer his help to carry the bags for the ladies. But including the lady's handbag is something that some people whom I know of doesn't agree to it as they felt it's over pampering the lady.
@jlamela (4897)
• Philippines
12 May 10
I cannot understand that there are men who spoiled their girlfriends by acting as their bodyguards carrying ladies bags. But I really saw and witnessed men doing this, even in public places. I don't know why they don't have any slight reservations about this act, but personally I would never agree with them acting like a "loyal servant", it makes them like a complete fool and non-sense, there should always be a proper etiquette in treating women but should not go beyond opening doors or kissing hands. I, myself find it ridiculous watching real and good natured men go down to the level of a loyal footman of Queen Elizabeth II. I think it is okay to do it for their mom or a wife, but for girlfriends?I think it's not appropriate.
@phoenix8606 (4942)
•
22 Mar 10
hell0! nope, I don't think it is wrong and I do it all the times when i see one lady with a big and heavy bags, because that's what gentlemen do and I think it is also a matter of education, how would you react if your mother goes shopping and her shopping bads weight 10 kilo? would you feel Ok to walk next to her with a small shopping bag? I don't think so! 
I am agree with the caring of ladies bags and have always support it
I am agree with the caring of ladies bags and have always support it @warvial (1146)
• Singapore
22 Mar 10
yes, totally agree with you.
But if do you think it's perfectly fine to carry not just the shopping bags but also the lady's hand bag?
Sorry for not making myself very clear in my discussion post cos when I mentioned that people criticize the guy, its cos the guy is not just carrying the shopping bags, but as well as the lady's hand bag. They find that the guy over-pamper the gal.
Do you think the same as well? Or you think it's perfectly alright to be carrying her hand bag as well regardless of the weight of her hand bag?
@sylqqmedin (116)
• Bulgaria
22 Mar 10
If an unknown girl asks me to carry her bag for a while,I won't reject her request.
If I see a girl walking down the street and being weighed down by the heavy bags,I'll help her.It's a manner and only a real gentleman could do a favor like this.People who criticize gentlemen are deranged.Women are very sensitive and frail
creatures and guys should help them as much as they can.
Cheers!
@warvial (1146)
• Singapore
22 Mar 10
Hi, it's very kind of you to help when one is in need.
Yes, some people I know of criticize the guy for carrying all the bags for the ladies, not just those shopping bags but as well as the bag that the lady carries with her. They find it weird. They are perfectly okay with the guy for carrying the shopping bags, but why can't the lady carry her own bag and is there a need to pamper her that way?
Thus, do you think there is a limit on being gentleman or you are fine with carrying all the bags for the lady including her handbag as well?
@sylqqmedin (116)
• Bulgaria
22 Mar 10
Of course there is a border.The handbags aren't so heavy,are they?On the whole I meant that I would help if the supposed girl really needed.
@justsmile2 (56)
• Canada
23 Mar 10
Of course it's alright. Anybody who were to criticize a man for helping out (even if it's just carrying some shopping bags) has their own set of issues that they need to work through.
I know that my boyfriend always offers to carry shopping bags for me (and my dad does the same when he comes with my mom and I). However, my boyfriend also offers to hold my purse sometimes (not carry it, mind you... just hold it for a second if I'm doing something). If he were to be criticized by somebody for it, I may or may not smack said person.
Carrying a girlfriend,wife,etc's bags for them is only a simple gesture of respect and love... I don't see why anybody would think it's a bad thing to do? It's just called being nice...
@warvial (1146)
• Singapore
23 Mar 10
Yes, sorry for the misunderstanding here.
Actually the people I know of who criticize guys who offer to carry bags for the ladies, it's because the guys carry all the bags, including the light and easy to carry handbag which they perceived it as over-pampering the ladies.
I totally agree it's a act of love and kindness for the guy to offer his helping hand to the lady in need.
But what do you think if the guy carries all the bag, including the lady's handbag as well?
And what do you think if the guy is spotted carrying the lady's handbag only? (As in the lady is not carrying her own handbag but letting the guy carry it for her)
@justsmile2 (56)
• Canada
23 Mar 10
If the guy is willing (and happy) to carry her handbag, all the power to him.
I still see it as a nice act, although I would personally never request that my boyfriend carry it. If he wanted to though, I'd let him.
I know from experience, a lot of women (including myself) have large bags.. being the avid shopper that I am, I also know that they can get in the way A LOT. So, honestly, having a boyfriend to carry it for me would be a load off my shoulders.. literally.
@garamond (28)
• Argentina
23 Mar 10
I think it's all about courtesy. You have to make the lady feel confortable, and if she wants you to carry the bag, you have to carry it! I know it is not the best plan for any guy, but it's what we have to do. Also, any woman would thank you for doing that, it's a fantastic way to improve the relationship.
@warvial (1146)
• Singapore
23 Mar 10
Hi, thanks for sharing.
For me, I won't let my boyfriend carry my bag unless like you mentioned, I am really exhausted.
Sometimes, guys seems to be taken advantage off by the lady just because she asked him to do so and they find it hard to say no as it might make them look very ungentleman-like. I guess that's why some people that I know of thinks badly about guys carrying everything from the shopping bags to the lady's handbag for the lady.
@warvial (1146)
• Singapore
23 Mar 10
Yes, definitely it would please the lady if the guy voluntarily carries her shopping bags because it is a very gentleman act. However, what do you think if the guy carries even her handbag which is light, easy to carry and of lady design?
Do you think that guys should you carry that for the lady as well?
@netcoder (275)
• Philippines
10 Apr 10
its so funny to look at those guys carrying their gf bag as if they look like a man whose very nice but in fact they will not they are good only during gf and bf days but once married. oh well, maybe a slap to the girls face if she will ask him to carry her bag. and in my case i will not allowed my bf carry my bag coz its feminine bag unless im carrying a shopping bag then its alright.
@warvial (1146)
• Singapore
12 Apr 10
Nice point mentioned. Although I have not been to that stage yet, there are a number of my ladies friends mentioned to me about such situation. However, none had been physically abused for making the request and hopefully such situation will not arise. Thank you for sharing.
@momjessie82 (344)
• United States
23 Mar 10
I think it is very courteous and also polite to carry a ladies bags. While I do not agree with having a guy carry my purse, the groceries or shopping bags I am more than happy to have help with. Those people that see it as something bad or as degrading to men were not raised with the conventional views of how ladies should be treated and with high levels of courtesy and respect in them.
@warvial (1146)
• Singapore
23 Mar 10
Yes it is very gentleman of the guy to help the ladies with the shopping bags.
And yes, I don't really think I would want to see my boyfriend with my purse or handbag and thus, I limited him to carrying any of my bags other than those two.
Those people that I mentioned, I must clarify for them. They were referring to guys who helped the ladies take everything from her handbag to her shopping bags. They felt it's over-pampering the lady.
@kquiming (2997)
• Philippines
23 Mar 10
It depends on how the guys carry it. LoL, it's okay for them to carry no harm in that and definitely nothing sinful, but it's not okay in a sense that, it doesn't look good on them. And no, I won't let my boyfriend carry my bag unless I'm hurt or not able to carry my own bag. We ladies carry bags (most of the time)not just for the purpose of carrying our things with us, but also for fashion. So it's only right that we carry our own bags so long as we can.
@warvial (1146)
• Singapore
23 Mar 10
Hi, thanks for sharing. I won't let my boyfriend help me with my handbag as well unless there is a need to. I mean if it's light and easy to carry, I don't see a need for him to be spotted carrying my handbag around. Although I don't have much fashionable bags, but one look at my bag and people will know it's a lady bag which I think doesn't look good for a guy.
@gambamarcela (1011)
• Philippines
23 Mar 10
In our culture, guys are expected to carry the bags of the women if they have difficulty of carrying them. As what you said, bags from shopping or grocery should be carried by the guys since they are physically stronger than women.It would be too shameful for the guys if they'd just watch a helpless woman carrying those heavy bags. What I am against at is when guys carry a very handy bag of their girlfriends. WTF are they trying to show? duh?
@warvial (1146)
• Singapore
23 Mar 10
Yes, that's the same criticism that some people made about guys carrying the handy bag for their girlfriends. We are in for lending a helping hand to those in need but there is a fine line between taken for granted and lending a helping hand.
What the criticism was is that the guy shouldn't be pampering the lady by taking all of her bags, as in her handy bag. And that's something which I don't let my boyfriend do for me as well unless it is very heavy or if I am not well, then that's another situation.
@MasterChief93 (80)
• Malaysia
23 Mar 10
I am sure it is ok for a guy to carry bags for the ladies. Maybe when she is tired or something then i will carry the bag for my girlfriend. Sometime she even told me not to but I insists. And guys desperately want to carry a lady design bag... o.O..never hear something like that before.
@warvial (1146)
• Singapore
23 Mar 10
I see, that's very nice of you. I hope all guys are that considerate.
And yes, be amazed but there are some guys out there who enjoys carrying the lady's fashion bag which is why I don't let my boyfriend carry mine for me. Unless it's really very heavy or I am not feeling well, normally I will carry my own bag.
@zsazshie143 (77)
• Philippines
23 Mar 10
honestly.. i really adore guys carry bags for her gf/mom or any ladies... because this really shows how gentle man they are. there parents really raise them well. it shows how they comfort and respect woman. and it shows that there man enough.
