I want to kick my cousin
By laurenban
@laurenban (194)
Philippines
March 23, 2010 12:00am CST
Okay, forgive they title, i don't mean it literally.
My cousin one day texted me saying that if i will allow her to stay at our house for a week or 2 until she got a job. She lives in a different city from us and she is trying to apply for jobs here in our city. Of course i said yes, she is welcome to our house.
But to my dismay she is living at my house for more than 2 months now! She found a job but didn't get out of my house and find her own place. She promised me that she will have her own place as soon as she got a job.
The problem is: staying at my house and would not even care to do little chores and one day while she was ironing her clothes she left the still-hot iron on the floor and my little son touched it. Darn, my son's hand got hurt because of her carelessness. She is getting to my nerves! She didn't even buy her own food and would rely on us. All she do is lie on the couch and calling her boyfriends in the phone.
All i want is to her to leave my house, but i got no guts to say it. I don't want to destroy the good relationship we have with the family...Would you please give me suggestions on how to deal with her.
7 responses
@ghieptc (2522)
• Philippines
23 Mar 10
Hi laurenban, It seems you agree that she can stay at your house until she find a good job. Maybe she wants more time to establish herself. I think you can use a diplomatic word without yelling at her or hurting her pride. You accept her and give your hospitality but deal with him how far she will going to stay because the household expense is high. Can you ask her,Do you mind to share some of the expense? or Maybe you can rephrase this wording.
@ghieptc (2522)
• Philippines
23 Mar 10
Maybe you need a third party who will do the talking with indirect message about her situation.Indirect approach is that only you need so that your message will carry to her understanding with the use of friends or third party. If she got the job then the deal is already done, she must move on now.
@ghieptc (2522)
• Philippines
24 Mar 10
I think it will resolve soon because it will react on her conscience about the message. She must be independent because she already got job. It's not easy to be in a house that not yours because there will be a lot of problems. It's time to her to move on & face the reality of life.
@laurenban (194)
• Philippines
23 Mar 10
i told my aunt about this (not her mother) and she said she will help me with my cousin..i hope this will resolve soon.
Thanks to u.
Just kidding!...Well, you can always tell her to be more responsible and act more or just leave. I think she'll feel bad but she'll realize it soon enough.
@laurenban (194)
• Philippines
23 Mar 10
i would like to try my wu-shu on her..lol! just to knock her off her senses and leave my house.
@laurenban (194)
• Philippines
23 Mar 10
oh yes! thankfully i got somebody who shares the feeling.
my cousin is very abusive with our things. and the fact that she don't even buy her own stuff to use really irritates me. even just the food she eats she don't bother to buy. how's that? i mean i am not rich enough to support her whole expenses. she even ask me she wants to borrow money from me. i didn't give her because i know she wont pay me back. using our stuff, eating our food, deliberately ignoring us..is too much, and now she wants money? what awesome attitude she got!
@sherrypeck19822001 (228)
• United States
23 Mar 10
Sit down and set guidelines. Talk to her like a mature, respectful adult.
@laurenban (194)
• Philippines
23 Mar 10
hi sherrypeck19822001!
the problem is, she don't respect us.
and is very inconsiderate, the fact that she didn't bother to talk to us and using our things without permission.
@candyfairy21 (2039)
• Philippines
23 Mar 10
I think you need to have some serious talk with her. Do it gently bit be firm with what you want. By the way is your husband okay with it? Just remind her that she needs to move out of the house because that was your agreement. If she does not want to... ask her to contribute with the chores and also contribute in terms of cash. Maybe not too much but at least she shares.
@laurenban (194)
• Philippines
23 Mar 10
My husband sometimes is bothered with her because she didn't buy her own stuff like shampoo, or soap, or toothpaste..that things should be her personal stuff but she shares all of that with ours. All i wanted is she should provide for her own needs and not rely on us.
@softwere508 (5)
• China
23 Mar 10
How about tell her mother about what she have been done in your family!Gentle words,of course!And most parents know what to do . Just personal advice.
@laurenban (194)
• Philippines
23 Mar 10
I don't know what to do about her really. Thanks! I will follow that advise.
@starlitn (67)
• New Zealand
23 Mar 10
How about telling her you don't mind her living with you, but you would like time to yourself now with your son? Set her another time limit like a month or so but thats it. And keep to it. Sometime's you have to be cruel to be kind. Just an idea on my part.
@laurenban (194)
• Philippines
23 Mar 10
Thanks for the response. I should not allow her to stay at my house if i know she is like that. And now she won't even talk to me! I really don't want to be cruel as she is a family but i really wanted her to leave my house.
