Homework Woes

Yes, I can't read music and the teacher did explain something about sharps and how it is to be written but I didn't get that either. I do not sit with my son for school work (which I can help him with if he needs it)....then why should I be expected to sit with him for music of which I have no clue?

She even questioned our parenting skills when my husband said that we were 'music illiterates' and we wouldn't know if he had done his homework right or wrong (btw..it wasn't wrong..she needed him to write it neater...it's the first time he is writing notes and her asking him to write it in a neat manner is fair enough).

Forgive my language but that teacher is full of Sh!t. It is the tracher who should be teachin music , not the parents. i can see if you two were musicians and it was late at night or on the wekend and he couldn't reach the teacher then you would help. But to expect a non musician to Teach music is just stupid!

Thank you! That is what I was looking for...as a parent, I don't need to help my son in piano. It is the teacher's duty to teach, right? Last week, she wasted a whole hour giving him a lecture on this and my husband was really mad because the man who is the head was the one who suggested putting our son in a solo class because he was way ahead of the others and it wouldn't be 'fair' on him to put him with the group that was starting out. It's not like my son has absolutely no clue of the notes and scales and what not...he has a very good ear for music....it's just that he is learning to 'write' music for the first time and she did not want to take the time out to explain to him what exactly was what. I think I need to look around for another teacher...one who would 'teach' my son and not expect me to do the 'teaching'.

Oh, that's interesting. You didn't need to learn to write the notes? That is the part my son is finding difficult. He can read music but this is the first time he is writing it. She tried explaining to me where he was having a little problem..but besides the point that it needs to be written bigger than he has written, I did not understand the technical aspect.

yes you do thats not right of that teacher to lecture its teacher place to teah. Even tho my mom plays the piano and could have taght me she thought it best for me to have a teacher! I took it for 9 yers. Never wrote a note tho just learned the music that was already wrote! now my Sister teaches paino has severl students her self .

Thank you Kalaji. I totally understand what you have written and I am looking at things objectively. I also agree that parents tend to get biased. And thatis the reason why I wanted to meet the teacher and not take my husband's word alone based on what happened last week (my husband does tend to be biased). Now, to clear your doubts. my son has been playing correct tunes in correct shruthi and rhythm. When he makes a mistake, he realizes it himself and corrects it and practises again. He had been playing in the school for all the functions and daily during assembly. He has represented the school for competitions too. Obviously, this wouldn't be possible if he was playing off-key. They have a very well trained music teacher at school who was the one who suggested piano so that he could work on his left hand (keyboard focuses more on the right hand with the left being used only for chords and not for playing). He has formed his own band in the apartment complex with kids...and he is the one who figures out the chords for the songs that they choose to sing. He has performed for functions in the apartment complex (which isn't really a great achievement). He has also played the keyboard at my husband's college(where he teaches) New Year function. Last December (2009), he played the keyboard during Amrita Tv's Super Star Show (show was telecast on Dec 31st, 2009). When I say we have been exposed to classical music, we have heard more of Carnatic music. My sister is a trained singer. A couple of my cousins are good singers and sing for bands (not as a career).My husband's maternal grandmother is one of the 'Travancore Sisters' (in Carnatic music) and they are related to the 'Travancore sisters' (in dance - Ragini, Padmini and I forget the name of the 3rd). My mother-in-law is a trained singer in Carnatic music.My husband and I appreciate good music...I can appreciate different genres of music while my husband prefers more of Indian music. So, the musical background of the family is also ascertained. Anyone who spends a couple of minutes with my son will realize that he has a good ear for music. I understand the technicalities you have mentioned and I also agree that neither one of us can help him with those technicalities (and that is the reason why we need a tutor to help). We can tell him the note is off-key but can't explain to him...like what you did with your son. What we usually do when he goes wrong, is sing the note to him and we help him figure it out that way. He tends to try and play a tune he likes on the keyboard...no one forces him or asks him to do so. Though we can discern a wrong note, we cannot explain it technically. It has been 8 piano classes now. After every class, my son immediately (of his own accord) goes to one of the many pianos kept at the institute and plays a few tunes that he likes (which the main person at the institute has never stopped him from doing). Last week, when my husband had picked up our son, the teacher stopped him from playing. From my talk yesterday, his want to play and use the instrument to play pieces she has not taught is a form of 'arrogance' in my son. He had heard 'The Entertainer' by Joplin on the net and had learnt it on his own and played it at the institute. This is the piece that she told my husband that he should not be playing because it is level 3. When we first went to enrol him at the institute, he had to give a demo to the person who runs the institute. This happened in front of us. The man asked him to play any piece he wanted...which he did. He was then asked to 'read' a piece from a book and play it...which my son did. The man then asked him a few technical questions...which he answered as best as he knew. After this session, the man analysed him and said that he needs work on the left hand because obviously, he has been playing the keyboard and that is normal in such students. He also said he has a good ear for music and he couldn't put him in a group class at the moment because most of them were beginners and our son was way ahead of them..so it wouldn't be fair to our son (the solo class costs more for 45 minutes than the group class of one hour). Sorry for this long post. But I hope I have cleared many of the aspects you wanted cleared. Please feel free to ask me for any more details you might need.

Sandhy1 Hope you haev undertood what I ahev written in the sense it was meant.Parents can get biassd at times and thta is why i wrote.I also read in another comment thta the teacher remarked thta eh had been playing somethign which is in the third level. Now, music is quite instinctive and if your son has been doing tyhis 3rd level on his own, without mistake then it si admirable.But whether it was without mistake or not must be an objective assessment by a good teacher ..Check this if you are unsure or if you feel that you may not have the sufficient expertise to assess it.

Oh, I forgot to mention one more thing. At his age, he gets the notes right and play a tune by ear or by reading. But what is missing is the 'feel'. I also find that songs he has heard often, he is able to discern the feel compared to new pieces or songs. But that is something, I feel he needs to work on and that will come only with listening to more music and practising diligently. Though he does practice, it is more of his interest (as I see it) than a systematic woking towards a goal. THAT is where , as a parent, I feel I need to help him.

Yes, we are upgrading his keyboard (which will help him to play the piano too), getting CDs on Western Classical music and also downloading some from the net..so that he is exposed to it and understands the nuances. Yes, it would be nice to learn along with him if I am interested too...but i'm not. I don't see why I should learn along with him just to make him learn. If my parents had to learn everything to teach me, I probably wouldn't have had an education. My father had no time and my mother couldn't do it. Last week when my husband had taken our son to the class, the teacher told him the same thing..and she told me the same thing yesterday. In fact, she explained a part that my son had not understood...and I didn't even understand as much as he did(obviously, since I didn't even know what the notes meant). I told her I was confused. When she spoke about 'sitting with him and making sure he did his homework right', I told her that I've never had to do that since he was in kindergarten. And she was surprised that my son was that 'independent'. She also said that he was 'arrogant'. I might agree that he is a little 'over confident' but he's never been arrogant and no teacher has ever told me that he is. In fact, he is one of the most well-mannered kids in the school (might be different at home...but he does remember my rules outside the home). I plan to try and follow her advice for a bit...but if it gets too much, I might just stop with the classes (we are paying quite a lot for this class and I don't want to keep fighting). I have a 3 year old at home and we are homeschooling the older one...so, I have my hands full without having to learn music too.

My husband is mad...and going to give them a piece of his mind...we are paying quite a high amount as fees (we actually don't mind the money as long as he is learning something). My husband was out of town when I started this discussion. He's back now. Found another place...and our son's been there twice already for classes. Since we've already paid the fees for the next month at the first institute, our son is continuing there and the new place for this month and then the month after, he continues only with the new class.

I cannot imagine why my comment here got deleted, but thank you for the update. I'm glad your husband is back to help you resolve this. It sounds like a good resolution.

Thank you, Cupid. I do not have any formal training in music either. So, I am not aware of the details and the technical aspects. At present, he is going to an institute and we enrolled him after talking to the person who runs the place and this man also checked his calibre before suggesting a solo class. This was because most of the students there were beginners and my son was way ahead of them (the man's words,...not mine). He said it wouldn't be fair on my son to be with the lower group...so he can go for the solo class till they were a handful of students who my son would be on par with and then we could move to the group class.

Thank you, Cupid!

HMM, SV wish u and ur son all the best Take care

I don't think it's a new idea. I think I know where she comes from. Most of the conventional convents and schools in Bangalore follow this. If a child is falling behind, they expect the parents to do the teaching. I do not believe in that...then why bother to pay them money and send my son to their school/class? I might as well do it myself. I've never done that myself and don't even expect the parents to teach my students the alphabets or numbers (which all my parents know). I always tell them, teaching is 'MY' job...but the help I need from you is to spend time with your child, play with them, understand them, help them to be observers, cut down on television time, feed them healthy meals, etc. These are the things I expect parents to do. My son has not demanded a change of tutor yet...we didn't want to give him the idea that it is his call. There are certain lines we draw at him taking decisions..he has the freedom to tell us how he feels and then we think and decide what to do about it...sometimes discussing with him when we feel it's appropriate. But I can see that he doesn't enjoy this teacher.

i JOIN WITH THE RIGHT OPINION M/S.SREEKALA PUT FORTH.

I agree with you, they are responsible to do the teaching work otherwise why they are charging high fees. I know your son is too small to take decision but if he is not happy then you should think about it seriously.

That has always been my point. My son is bright enough to grasp things quickly and if he doesn't, he makes sure he asks the person teaching him. And I've always encouraged him to be independent in his work...even when he does ask for help, I don't help him with the homework problem, but would try to find the part he hasn't understood and get him to do the homework again. It's very rare that I've had to do that. So, I didn't see the point of trying to help him with something 'I' had no clue of. This is when the teacher questioned my parenting skills. As a teacher, I've seen parents help their kids with homework...even when the work is done by the child and the parent is just sitting as a moral support or a guide, I find that this tends to continue for years together upto highschool. Children then expect the parents to sit up with them when they have exams. I'm going to do no such thing...it's pointless! My husband is out of town. We will be looking for a new tutor as soon as he is back.

I'm not sure the free tutorials would help my son. He is 9 and might need someone to really explain things to him...little details that do not come across in these free classes. I did ask his teacher and she questioned my parenting skills for not wanting to help my son with his homework. She expects me to sit with him and really 'help' and 'guide' him...which I am not sure I am the best person to do. Exactly, it is my son and not me learning. I've never had to help him with school work (which I can do if he needs it) but I prefer him doing it on his own and it shows me that the school is doing a great job of teaching him...because he has understood what he has to learn.

Yes, I've been busy. I've quit working..am homeschooling our older son...and at the moment the little one is also home till he starts school next June. So, you can imagine how busy I am! Coming back to the topic, the teacher has not asked me to take classes...but she expects me to know or learn and help him. When I was there yesterday, I saw another mother who had joined the class so that she could learn along with her son (from the conversation, I understand that there was hint of her joining as a moral support and she accepted). Anyways, I do not want to take the classes because I'm not interested. Why should I be forced to learn something I don't want to? For the sake of my son? My parents never had to learn anything to teach me and I did fine learning on my own. It's the drive of the student that is important. As far as my son goes, we are going to upgrade his keyboard to a higher version (whee he can play piano notes too)..but tell me ..how many people who learn the piano have a piano at home to practice? We also are exposing him to Western Classical music and making sure he practices (but he hardly seems to have done any learning here in 8 classes). For a child who learnt to play the keyboard on his own..and who immediately tries to play a tune he hears and likes, I don't think he needs any push from my end (he has enough drive). In fact, when he played a piece of a great composer he had just heard and liked, she stopped him and told my husband 'How CAN he play this piece...it is taught only in the 3rd level'! Now, we won't stop him if he is doing it on his own, will we?

lol.. this music teacher works at an institute where he has joined. He has a keyboard sir and a guitar sir who come home to teach and he's quite friendly and comfortable with the two of them. In fact, he does teach his 'keyboard' sir a few things:) And the guitar sir also is very responsive to my son's needs. I don't doubt the piano teacher's credentials..though I've never heard her play...but I think she might play well but not a good teacher to someone like my son.

Hi SV.....So it looks like you got your hands full with homeschooling...But the music teacher you have appointed appears too greedy and very business minded...You say she has already roped in one parent to give moral support and it appears she is roping in more parents .She appears to be a scheming person more interested in increasing the number of pupils she has rather than teaching her wards.....and developing their talent...I very much doubt her credentials......and her knowledge of music too for that matter........If you dont look for a new teacher your son may end up having to give her some lessons as well.......considering his mastery with the instruments......