Baby did a bad, bad thing…

My b/f doesn't like to shop with me because I like to look at stuff too. Even if I might not buy it..I might like to look. I think that males often times have the "get in and get out" type of sttitude while we like to stroll through and enjoy the shoppiing experience. I would be irritated to because I feel like it's not fair that I'm enjoying a few moments and he wants to rush. I don't think he was being mean but it's not right either.

I'm sorry to hear that your hubby did that, and it made you feel bad. Sometimes I get that funk and when my husband asks me go to out and go to the mall, especially when I don't feel like it, I end up making him feel bad because I tend to make nasty side comments and roll my eyes, or just shut up completely and show how unenthusiastic I am. I learned that it's because I'm preoccupied with certain problems at work, and I have been really bothered at the office lately with my boss and the way he perceives me. So this has been bringing me down, and i want nothing more than to be alone, and just sit at home and not think about the office. Maybe your hubby just wasn't in the mood that day. He probably just wanted to spend the day at home and just relax. Maybe something wasn't working out for him at work too, kind of like me. Although you know you didn't do anything to make him angry, sometimes because of marriage and having been together for a long time, the 'charm' is gone and you're expected to know how the other feels and go along with that. It sounds like I'm telling you that he's taking advantage of the situation, but there might be something underneath his acting up that you just need to understand so in the future, if he does it again, you'll know to give him some space, or to help him fix whatever might be subconsciously bothering him.

Hi Paula! How are you? As a female and the wife of a husband who would have blown his top and never apologised later[I would have been the one to do it] and a son who has a similar business like attitude to shopping but a very patient nature , I can relate to what you have said Paula. Women think differently Paula.To us, the fun lies in going around, looking at things, not buying many of them , looking at hundred things and getting one; if we look at plenty and buy the items we had planned to buy then we have a real fulfilled sense of shopping.Our day has been very successful.Men normally would like to be focused , go into a shop which would have the things we are planning to buy, pick the intended items after seeing whether the product is a good one and come back. I have ceepted this nature of men[when I got married initially, there were times when I had tried the patience of my normally impatient husband and he has accomodated em a lot.But later, I found that he became irritable.After that, I have realised it is not fair on me to burden him with my likes and so I either do this loittering around by myself or with similar natured women.On very rare special occasions [like buying a saree for my anniversary[once in a while when the mood takes me to go to a distant shop] or my son's marriage]I request him to come along and WARN him how long it would take.THis would be once in 5 or 8 years. Your husband was king enought o apologise Paula and this is a rare thing. Well, may be I am old fashioned in this aspect but what I am trying to tell you is that he can still continue to be angry. THis is not being mean spirited, ;it is the way men and women are wired.They think that our way of looking at things and not buying even one is a big waste of time.THey would rather sleep. nOw, we cannot say anything here because the matter is subjective and depends on an individual.

Hello Paula! I can only say that we get perplexed with unpredictable behavior of the person, whom we consider very close to us. When we 'know' a person (e.g. our partner) we expect certain things from him/her and we assume that s/he won't behave in an unforeseen manner and if the other guy does it, we feel hurt. I think your description shows that there was not any major reason for he getting upset, when he had willingly gone to market with you. I think, this should serve a lesson for you that at times 'he' could be unpredictable and you should take adequate precautions for this kind of unpredictable scene. Please let it go Paula, please do not take it to your heart, it was a trivial matter. You keeping yourself tense for this 'issue' is not going to serve your purpose much. Keep smiling and keep laughing! Have a great day! Deepak

Sorry to hear your husband treated you like that I bet your mood was crappy the rest of the day and night and even now it hurts I seriously think maybe next time you do any shopping either go by yourself or with your daughter or a female friend---men just don't like the whole shopping thing...it's a complaint they've had against us women for ages, that we're too slow and take too much time while shopping

paula dont you know by now men mostly are express shoppers, two minutes, find what they want,pay for it and zip out of there. My own husband was just like yours so we did this, he hated standing around while I tried on dresses while he held a watch almost like a stopwatch and I hated him standing there looking sour and watching his damned watch. so we decided on a time to meet. then where to meet which was usually a favorite cafe. so we were both happy as he wandered around looking at guy stuff while I shopped for girl stuff. He was just being a typical male, something in their genes seems to make them speed demon shoppers so you cannot change them, just compromise so everyone is again happy and sweet natured. Men do not like to stop and look at the same things we do, they do love to look at guy interests though.

Yes I can relate to this. Most men are not into Window shopping. We go to the shop to buy something specific, and we comeback home. We will only spend time in a shop when we need to make a choice between several brands before buying something. Like a television. We might browse through CDs and DVDs. But what we go after is always specific. Your husband was behaving like a normal male and has nothing to apologise for. Don't try to change him into a woman. Just don't take him with you when you want to go window shopping.

Hi paula, I can understand what your husband feels, and at times when my wife is shopping I get the same feeling. However, there is no way I would do as your husband, as I only have to think what my wife does for me to realize it's just a smal thing I can do in return. He should grin and bear it.

Dear Paula, I understood what you said. I think you have taken it as very serious.The women are gifted with more patience than men Some times due to the inner stress, such attitude appears which should not be taken so serious. Be merry and enjoy.

Ya know, that's the difference between men and women. It shows up in the way they handle things. For example, and you provided it, shopping. A woman goes for the whole "shopping" experience, to walk around and look, maybe touch and try on things. A man goes to get the object in question and LEAVE. The man who enjoys the whole "experience" is few and far between - and I strongly suggest if your husband is one of those, you need to make sure he's not seeing any guys on the side... (hint hint) I know its a generalization, but generalizations come from facts. You go to a guy for answers, not sympathy, you take a guy to shop to get it and go. From now on, I suggest you just leave the grump at home...

Well, obviously it was your fault... you weren't looking at anything interesting -- to him. Now, if you'd been looking at, say, sports memorabilia or cars or whatever he likes, he wouldn't complain if you spent all day at it. You might, but he wouldn't. Next time, go without him.

Lots of guys are like this. My mom was actually. Some people just don't enjoy window shopping. Still, if he doesn't like it, he could have just said something up front and not gone with you.

Hubby and I use to be able to shop together but finally we had to admit that doing so drove each of us crazy. Hubby likes to shop, he'll go many places to get the very best deal. I hate it, I go one place, pick up what I want and go home. It took us a long time to realize that we both just don't like to do the same things. Now he does his thing and I do mine. No one's feelings get hurt that way and no one gets upset. If we have to make a large purchase I let him shop first and then after he has seen all he wants, I go to see his three top choices.

I have to agree with the other responses. It is a male thing. They do not like to shop and are much happier to just get in, get what they need, and get out. However, his response and the way that he treated you and your daughter was not right at all. It is nice that he apologized to you, but it still hurts. However, I think that you need to let it go and forgive him. Life is too short to stay upset about minor things.

Sounds more moody than a bipolar! And I should know, since I am bipolar.

maybe he got some problem related to health...or some kind of uneasiness...he wasn't in the mood to walk anymore and he got tired...did you ask him later after that day?? maybe he didnt tell you that day what actually happened..but he may be in some kind of trouble...sometimes you see someone unexpected person whom you don't want to talk or see...can't say what actually it was?

paula27661, This is just human. I am sure it would be the same if your favorite sitcom is looming whilst you are out shopping with him. Read that part where the both of you were at the hardware store. An eye for an eye, I suppose. Knowing each other well enough, I am sure there's a way to come to a compromise or if not, an understanding by anticipating. So, let each other know what the both of you might want to do, time specific and if not, meet at a common place after a specific time of looking or shopping around individually.

If this is your usual thing to do, I don't see why he should change his attitude so quickly. If he didn't want to spend a lot of time browsing, he should have let you know this before leaving home. I know that it's typical for most men to shop as quickly as possible, while it's also typical of most women to browse. (Almost the same thing with the TV remote. Ever notice how men generally change channels very quickly when looking for something to watch while women change to one channel, then watch it for a bit before deciding to keep looking?) But, that abrupt attitude change was uncalled for. I'm glad he apologized but I can also see why it's hard for you to let it go. When you're having a great time, then something comes along to abruptly change that, it takes awhile to let it go. At least, that's my opinion, being a woman.

Don't take men shopping unless it for a specific item and you need his input. Men hate to look around. It's not fun for them. They don't window shop. To keep peace in the family, just tell him that you are going to the mall or the pet store and will be back around.... He can stay home and happily do whatever. You can look at all the stuff you want and both will be happy.

this is an example of typical male behaviour(im not talking about how he behaved with you but about how annoyed he got with shopping) we males dont like to browse through each and every thing slowly(specially if the thing is not in our ist of interesting things) when i go shopping with my sister i feel the same way but with my brother its much better..we just go buy and come back....but sometimes when i have to go to a computer, gaming,mobile or hardware store than i just stick there for hours searching for the right stuff.....the way he behaved with you was wrong but i think he does not like to go for long shopping hours...take him for shopping when you buy a new plasma tv or laptop he will love to browse than.....