I feel like my boyfriend lying to me...

Hi ccarabuena! As a girlfriend, you have the right to know what's happening to him. You have to be open to each other. For him, instead of getting angry, he just acted like he was really guilty and was really doing something fishy. Why is he so defensive, you're just asking if he is still texting her ex-girlfriend or not. I'm sorry to say but it seems like he don't really love you that much. For me as long as you are letting other people go on your way, it will not be a good relationship. Specially if he is still communicating with his ex-girlfriend. I know this is not the relationship that you are wishing for, so it's up to you, if you can take this kind of relationship, remember you are still boyfriend/girlfriend. If you want to give up, I think you have enough reason to do so. So good luck! Happy myLotting!

Hmm.. The first notion I got is I think it would all be best if you and your boyfriend stopped texting about these stuff and start talking about it face-to-face. I mean, it's unhealthy for each other to start defending each side through sms because of the following reasons: 1. Messages in sms are typed and we all know that though we know the person very well, we don't hear the tone of their voices when they type each word. Thus, it may be as if you're nagging him when he reads the messages etc. 2. It's difficult to fight through sms because facial expressions are necessary, a hug would solve a lot of worries and insecurities. Further, I have been to that situation, men tend to be in the 'defensive' mode when talking about the ex's. It does not mean they're not over their ex's, it's just weird that you'd be talking to the ex. Also, I think both of you have to really sit and talk about this, both should not be that open in terms of talking to ex's anymore. Yes, they could be friends, but it's different when it causes a fight between the two of you. Plus, the mere fact that you and him are talking about separating because of such just simply means that forever is not yet in your hearts - it may be in your minds, but obviously both are not ready for it. So, as an advice? Well, I wouldn't say quit. I won't say expect either. Let this ride as it is, enjoy the moment and just let it stand. Stop being ready to fight and stop stressing out yourselves. When there's a problem or a symptom of a problem - it is better to avoid reacting before you get to see each other. As for reporting, it wouldn't be reporting anymore if both would no longer feel the need to explain everything. Instead, it would feel like sharing. We were like that before too, he felt he was obligated to tell me everything, while I wasn't really thinking about that. Soon, without me initiating the topic, he would just tell me - not out of obligation but because he wanted to share his day with me. Don't worry, you guys will figure it out. For now, enjoy the relationship. If there's nothing to be enjoyed about anymore - well, life is too short to be miserable.

Hi, ccarabuena. It sounds like your boyfriend may still have feelings for his ex-girlfriend. Why is he constantly texting her?? If he is with you, why is he still contacting her by texting. It sounds like he has something to hide. If I were you, I would find out what it is. And if he is lying to you, it is better that you kick him straight to the curve.

For me my advice is he is not a good husband to be because he cheated you in that way if you purse your self to love him then your whole life would be many agony in him.

Is the force that led him to text his ex girlfriend the same urge that led you to post this discussion? Do you have fun posting this discussion? Did he have fun texting his ex? All of this is just a matter of pleasure to ourselves and we cannot resist it. It looks dull if he stops chatting with his ex and it would be terrible if you not post this discussion. But thanks to his "improper behavior" and this discussion, we myloters had learned so much.

I'd like to think that your boyfriend is immature and he is doing something behind your back. Fine, get mad if he wants to. So he thinks you're accusing him, so what? But to actually threaten you with ending your relationship? Honey, if he's going to go that far, then it only means that he does not appreciate you relationship that much. I'm sure it's hard to hear this kind of point of view from a lot of people, and we all have the same point of view. One of the myLotters recommended giving him some space, and backing off. i think it was Lipstick2009. That might work. don't text him for a few days. See if he misses you. Something was probably going on with him. Don't try to find out because eventually he'll let you know. So be patient, give him some room, and do yourself a favor and give yourself some room. Oh, and one more thing. DO let him know that if he wants to break up because he thinks you don't trust him, you're going to let him. I doubt he will go and do something like that to you. You don't have to let him know that you suspect something's going on because it might fuel his anger even more. But let him know that he can't bully you around just because he doesn't like what you asked him.

Are you and his ex girlfriend friends? its strange to me that SHES texting you and asking how he is...if my boyfriends ex girlfriend did that i would straight up yell at her. I think you should also sit down and talk to your boyfriend but now days its hardly ever expected for men to tell the truth if in fact they are being dishonest and sneaking around. I also wouldnt say anything back to the girl because that will probably just keep her/get her more interested in this man...relationships are one of the most complicated things ever! good luck!

If I am wrong, I am sorry. I think you are not being honest with yourself. I think it would bother you, if he and his ex-girl friend were still talking. I think that is why you asked. If it really would not bother you, why ask? If it does not matter, why do you need to know? It it does bother you if he talks to her, than admit that to yourself. It's ok to be bothered by that. If I had a girl friend who broke up with some other guy, and she was still talking to him regularly, that would undoubtedly bother me. It would bother me a lot. Now if it really does not bother you, then don't ask, and don't bring it up. Think it through. If it does not bother you, then let it go. Be happy with your boy friend. But, if it does bother you. Admit that, and say that to your boy friend. Say it bothers me if you talk to her. I would. If I were him, and you were talking to another guy, I'd say: "honey, it bothers me that you talk to this other guy. I makes me feel uncomfortable. I wish you would please stop talking to him. I know it shouldn't bother me, but it does." Make sure you speak directly to him. Don't txt this. Don't say it in passing or over the phone. Have a face to face, eye to eye talk. Speak plainly. Don't talk talk talk either. Say exactly what you mean, and mean exactly what you say. Now, if he refuses, or if he gets angry that you ask him this, that is a sign he does not love you. What he is saying is, I will not sacrifice this little thing for you. But love IS sacrifice. So he doesn't love you. What he is saying is, how you feel doesn't matter to him. You should let him go, and move on. A pretty girl like you, will find someone better who really cares.

Some people are just guilty as charge. But just one question. How did you deliver your question? Sometimes we ask this type of question but back on our mind what we really want is different. That maybe your BF is so defensive because he sense that deep inside you don't want them to communicate to each other. .. But if things goes worse. Don't worry I'm available..lolz.

I think we have to be open to our relationship to last long, trust them. I think also that your boyfriend must not communicate to her ex-girlfriend so that your trust will be 100% to him. Maybe he is busy to handle everything.

So what's the reason why his ex-gf texting you about him? I just cannot understand why her ex is so concern about him still as they were already part their ways,.And what makes your boyfriend so defensive when you asked him about his ex?And to is it very obvious how so coincidence you were exchanging text with her ex then he texted you at the same time? For me a lot of questions on my mind while reading your story. For me if there's nothing to hide why need to feel bad just answer yes or no there's no need to speak a lot,I just cannot tolerate guys like that, I'm sorry to say, and if ever that my boyfriend still texting his ex-gf , I must prohibit him from doing that, I really cannot accept that,for the sake of their friendship, I think I don't feel alright, Ex is ex not anyone.And his saying he did not stop you from texting your ex bf why you need to stop him??Meaning he still communicating with her ex gf,and why he need to return same questions? His not really a man to trust Im sorry I don't trust this kind of people and personality..If he didn't do anything wrong why he acting like so defensive.Try to talk to him about this and see what he is going answer you or else keep a bit distance to him, for a while,give a little space see what moves his going to do.

I think that your boyfriends was paranoid and very defensive. He barked at you even if you did not even accuse him of anything. Talk things out and ask him why he reacted that way.!!

Well it's not harsh. but the queation is why did he reacted so well? if he knows it frron himself that he's not doing something wrong to make you feel bad then why did he get mad? well on the part of your boyfriend he thinks that you dont trust him. that you are suspecting him. if there's nothing suspicious between your bf and his ex gf then why bother? let it be. dont be so malicious and suspicious, observe first. if you caught them on act cheating then you dont deserve him. but i dont think a man can do that thing to his partner is he loves his partner so well. dont think too much. dont get jealous. okay?. :)

You better explain to him that you dont have that point of thinking as on how he comprehended your interrogation. I, sometimes also misinterpreted on how I directly ask question which sometimes causes fight. But no matter what it takes, I always explain my side. Sometimes we dont mean to asks questions that makes them feel irritated.

he does sound like a drama king.If got furious by such a simple question then there is something which he is hiding.Truth is bitter thing. Yes he need to open and transparent with oyu if you guys decide to spend life with each other.If he is refusing to do that i bet you are not going to sustain with each other for more time. You also have mentioned in your post that you feel neglected znd not loved.This indicate you guys arent that much close and bonds between two of you are weak.You either need to give your relationship some time and see if it get strong or move one.Dont waste your time much.

I am 100% convinced your boyfriend still loves your ex and would never want to lose her in his life. You have the right to feel that way, I myself would react that way if I were you. I'm sad to say this --- but I don't think he really really loves you. He's not being real. Drop him. He's not worth your time and everything.

I think what you and your boyfriend is having right now is communication breakdown. Do you remember the times before when you can talk about anything and not fight at all? Things would have been different if only he said yes or no or "is it ok?". But no, he just blurted making everything a big deal. I would assume you are not possessive and you have been patient always with him.If i an right, i suggest you back out a little and leave him alone. For me a graceful exit is better than being treated like a fool.It's hard when you are in love, but that's how it is sometimes. There are lots of nice guys there.So many men, so little time. Haha

You obviously do not trust him, so what chance is there. But then again, if he still wants to ciommunicate with her, and you seem the possessive type, what chance is there. Find a Boyfriend that doesn't want to hold on to a whole lot of old gfs.

Every couple dreams to last a love affair long. If you desire to end it up this early because of your belief, think about it twice. If twice is not enough, think about it more and more. Keep an open communication between both of you. Evaluate the relationship if there is much more reason to keep it going. If you think that it's a hopeless case, end it. Be productive as much as you could. You should remember that you have your own life too. However, to make a relationship last long, an intense evaluation is needed. But the most helpful thing is prayer. Ask guidance from God of the things that should be done.

Hi! I do not mind if my boyfriend is still in contact with his ex girlfriends. I have become closer friends to my exes and I will not hide that from him. But it is important that you know what is going on. Your boyfriend being defensive is a bit excessive and I am not surprised that you are now doubting him. Why get mad when he has nothing to hide, right?