if you don't have nothing nice to say... don't say it at all...

Hi Zsazshie, I have two close friends in the office and we have always been honest with each other. What we like about each other is that we tell each other the truth about what we think especially if in the end one of us will be harmed or embarassed if we just keep to our selves what we think about each other's idea, action or even outfit. Let's say if one of us really look so haggard and not good we would tell that directly by saying, "You know what you look so haggard and it makes you ugly. Look, your beginning to have lots of pimples. Try to relax, go to a spa and have a facial." But of course we say that to each other with concern in our voice. You can also detect if the person is concern or just want to make you feel bad. One of my friends told me that she does not like the outfit I wore in our office because it makes me look old and told me not to wear it again. I was not hurt as the girl who told that to me was one of my very close friends. One of my friends was really mad about someone in the office. She asked me to read her email which she will be sending to that person. I read the email and told her my opinion. I told her the email does not sound like professional. It seems like she is against the person and not about the person's idea. It was true. If she will send the email to the entire population of our office then our officemates might think bad about her. She ended up sending an email and deleting it. We ended up having coffee instead. That's how me and my two friends get along well. We've been friends for almost three years now. We always give each other constructive feedback and we are each other's critics in

I rather tell the truth than give negative comments at someone's back. I could say that I am an honest friend in which I really speak my mind. If I see something negative towards my friend, I will really inform her so that she will be aware. Beside giving criticisms don't have to be offending. By stating first her positive sides and giving the negative tactfully, for sure she will understand.

We should knoow enough to not say anything if we can't say anything nice. Sometimes this is hard for us us. Keeping a strong opinion to ourselves is just too much to bear. It has to come out. Taje care with your choice of words. The feelings of others are just as important as what you may have to say.

when i will meet my friend i want know his details then i accepted my best friend list.

tell the truth. They'll live and improve. or else just give them a weird look. hehehe

I think i have to be honest on her, since she's my friend after all. You will say like, "you know, you may feel wonderful about your dress right now, but it seems for me its not your fit. You look better on a dress more modern, etc.." If she feels like not accepting my opinion, then its okay.Its up to her, as long as I was just being open and was just judging her constructively.

If in embarrassing situations, saying directly might ruin the whole relationship indeed. But it doesn't mean that you shouldn't have an input, and just pretend you never saw the flaw. There are several tactics. You can be a diplomatic and approach the person sincerely by entering the discussion with an excuse..."You wouldn't mind if I told you something that might seem embarrassing for a second, would you?". And if the first reaction is of joy, then you can proceed. If first reaction is of retreat, then better stop. You can make the remark look like a joke, but this might depend on the other's sense of humor..."You dressed to kill today! Do you plan to make any victims?". Generally works with men, women are more sensitive. You can just address the issue indirectly, simply by talking about another person who wears the same kind of ugly dress... "One of my friends came with a blue, long dress (emphasize blue, not long) at the party, just like my grandma would". But for this kind of approach you have to make sure you have the ability to disguise the thing completely, otherwise there could be some fight involved Generally it is said that we must not avoid the truth, even if it is not good news, but language (verbal, body, mimics) is flexible enough to be able to save us if we actually decide to put it on the table. We shouldn't hurt people's feelings, but I wouldn't hide the truth though.

Hi there, i was thinking, i can't be like that, i can't just stay silent when i don't think it is right, or if i think there something i comment about, if my girlfriend thinks she would look good in that dress and if i find it wasn't looking that good i would politely and frankly tell her she isn't looking that pretty in that dress, she won't be angry or hurt, she would appreciate the honesty and would also learn to trust much more, if we start to hide things that way then probably they would get the feeling we always agree to whatever they feel is right and that is not a good thing, i want to be commented on too, i can't always have friends who always say good about all the things that i do, i am lucky they tell me from time to time and criticize, i am open to criticizing but only if it is said honestly, if she would look 60 years old i would let her know that, it might be that only i see it that way and others don't, i would let her know my original opinion about it rather that keeping quiet about it, even if she would ask i would tell her it is exactly the way you suit in it, try something else on, something like that, the most important part is to tell things politely and honestly and they would certainly appreciate you are being so open about it.

Hi there, i was thinking, i can't be like that, i can't just stay silent when i don't think it is right, or if i think there something i comment about, if my girlfriend thinks she would look good in that dress and if i find it wasn't looking that good i would politely and frankly tell her she isn't looking that pretty in that dress, she won't be angry or hurt, she would appreciate the honesty and would also learn to trust much more, if we start to hide things that way then probably they would get the feeling we always agree to whatever they feel is right and that is not a good thing, i want to be commented on too, i can't always have friends who always say good about all the things that i do, i am lucky they tell me from time to time and criticize, i am open to criticizing but only if it is said honestly, if she would look 60 years old i would let her know that, it might be that only i see it that way and others don't, i would let her know my original opinion about it rather that keeping quiet about it, even if she would ask i would tell her it is exactly the way you suit in it, try something else on, something like that, the most important part is to tell things politely and honestly and they would certainly appreciate you are being so open about it.

I'm a very honest person, so I have no problem about saying my real opinion. Many people get offended by that, and I have even had arguements because of that, so with that over sensitive people, I just refuse giving my opinion, as that's better than to lie.

hi zsazshie. not a bad idea after all. it saves us from a lot of unnecessary argument and unpleasantness. it saves us from hurting someone else. and what if we have to eat our own words one day...

Sometimes I'm like that, but sometimes i can't help myself especially if it's a friend and telling the truth is important. But in that case, where my friend feel confident in what she's wearing, well, feeling confident doesn't compare to wearing something ugly. It's always okay to feel confident and be able to do what you can do. I guess in that case, I'd look for something else for her to wear, add something to her wardrobe. And that's when I'm going to tell her that choices might look bad or not. I won't waste time with sugary anythings. She's my friend, and I'd rather she heard it from me than from anyone else.

For me, I will say any word to my lover and my kids, but for other person, I will prefer to say nothing, because sometime, they are sensitive, if i said what I want to speak out, They will think I am fastidious person, So it is better to be quiet.

I'd rather say the truth. If you don't do anything, nothing will change. But still, the way to tell it has to be nice.

Well for me , i would say bad words to the ones i love because i would like them to change the Bad habits yea .

It is never good to hurt someones feelings in any manner because of their appearances, or what they are wearing etc. Before we make any comment we must put ourselves in their shoes and see whether we would like it if someone commented on us. My dad would always praise people and make them happy and would keep quiet otherwise. that trait has also come to me and so i too also like to see others smiling happy. If there`s something not nice in others then i keep my feelings and comments to myself.

i definitely would say anything that i think would be of help to others or would let the other person know what i feel about what he/she did or said. rather than talking about the person behind his/her back, which i believe is unethical. but, definitely, i'll try to use words or actions that would not hurt the other person's feelings (although this is not actually what happens most of the time, especially when i am irritated or i'm speaking with my pet peeve).

Hi zsazshie143,Yes,I agree with you,It is quite good to keep quiet than to hurt people saying not good.It is always my concern to respect their feelings.Happy mylotting.

I think it really depends on the situation. There's a difference of playing blind and being nice. I think that we know what to do at situations like this. If you think that you feel that you need to say it why not? Sometimes we hold back, so that we can't hurt them... I think that's fine..

it would depend on the circumstances. but i'm a very honest person, yet i would never hurt anyone's feelings unless it would be worse to do otherwise. Like if a friend was being cheated on and I knew about it, i would definitely have to tell them, because it would be worse for them to continue in the relationship. than to be hurt just in the shortterm you know? but your story about the dress reminds me of something. my mom was going to buy this horrible jacket, which was at the second hand store under "costumes", and she was prancing around in it infront of the mirror, and i said, no mom, it's totally outdated. (trying to avoid hurting her feelings), well, she scoffed at me, and turned to the woman watching her, and asked her. well, the woman just kinda agreed with mom cause she din't know what to say. so finally i had to say, mom, she was just being poliet. i could not let mom go out of the store looking like a clown. i think she woulda been more hurt by the snickers and looks she woulda gotten wearing it.