will you force your friend for getting married?
By umit_umit
@umit_umit (1984)
India
March 30, 2010 11:52am CST
well my friend is 38 once he gor married and now its over but now says that will not marry as seen all there is nothing in this,does not wants to go again about marriage!shall i force !or leave to ones own condition!has he taken a good decesion!what do you say??have you gone through this???
8 responses
@emzymemzy (89)
• Philippines
30 Mar 10
nope! I wouldn't force my friend to do things he doesn't want to do. I won't overstep his decision of his life. I'm just a friend who can give him advice and be happy for whatever he decides for himself. that's what friends are for. I'll respect it!
just try to empathize with your friend and you'll see and understand his situation and reasons. tell me, what if the whole situation between you and your friend were reversed, what should you do or how would you feel if your friend forces you to do something you don't like to do.
be happy if your friend's decision made him happy. just support him and be there for him.
@umit_umit (1984)
• India
30 Mar 10
well his family is forcing him to do so to form ones own as he starts going here and there comes to my house everyday!and even my wife does not like this!now like a wanderer!how long he can move like this!!
@umit_umit (1984)
• India
31 Mar 10
well friend emzymemzy thanks really all of you for the decesion!!really it have made me clear now what to do!!
@emzymemzy (89)
• Philippines
30 Mar 10
hmmm... if his family is forcing him to get married, then that's another matter. your friend is in a decision-making situation. a very hard decision to make that will have a drastic change of his life. your friend is in the right age or mature enough for him to decide what's good for him. In making a decision there's always a consequence. he must be responsible and be a man to face all the consequences. and as for you being a friend, you're there to help him do the right thing and give some advices that you think it's right for him. again, just support him, be there for him when he needed you and let him decide for himself after giving your advice. let him see the pros and cons or the consequences of whatever action he must decide on.
let him take as long as he can to make a decision, because it's not easy. But if I were on his situation, I will honestly tell my family what I really feel about them forcing me to get married and my views on it. Even if it hurts them, I will tell them that it is my life and I'm the one who face all the consequences of my actions. Give them my reasons for not getting married. For me marriage is a serious thing. Funny because my friends told me to get married and I'm now in my thirties but I still enjoy being single. I decided not to get married yet because I'm not ready emotionally and financially. and when you force yourself into something that you don't want to then mostly the consequences are you're not going to be happy about it and it's doom to fail. Good luck and God bless.
@common_man (1799)
• India
30 Mar 10
Hi friend,
one should always remember that to get married again or not is individual's decision. As a friend you can explain him why you feel he should get married again. you can persuade him to understand your point of view. Once you are sure, u have put forward your point and he has understood, your role as a friend is over. Let him make his own decision weather to remarry or not.
Some times person feel dejected and lost after a break up and may take time to return to normalcy, u should make attempt to persuade till he comes to normalcy, not after that. it one should never force any one to get marry, or get marry again. The final decision is his.
@common_man (1799)
• India
31 Mar 10
Parents have feeling that getting married again will probably make their son happy. but they might be failing to understand his mental condition. Hope things will be fine soon.
@umit_umit (1984)
• India
31 Mar 10
really he says that do anything dance,freak out,make your partner happy is all useless!nothing is everything is a waste!one day you will see that the partner is not in the home!well really dont know what to do!
@umit_umit (1984)
• India
30 Mar 10
Do ypu have suffered this phase!his parents have made him so stress about their own emotional satisfaction they are just kinds to do anything and get married!so they are telling me!he says i will not enter the house!GOD knows!what will happen!
@myramae19 (667)
• Philippines
30 Mar 10
hi there
It's good that you're concern to your friend about getting married, but marriage is not something that you can say so or decide to a friend...your friend is the only one can decide about him getting married again
But, I think you could just tell him that how wonderful to have and build his own family
But, I think you could just tell him that how wonderful to have and build his own family@umit_umit (1984)
• India
30 Mar 10
well he says i have tried my best but invain!now dont want to go all the hassels!again!let see!well thanks for the advice!happy lotting!
@minotaur87 (769)
• Singapore
31 Mar 10
I don't think you can force anyone to do whatever he doesn't want to do. All you can do if to persuade the person or maybe plan opportunities for him so that he may have chance to get to know people that he might want to marry. Sometimes, it may not be the most wise choice to get married so your friend may also blame you for his entire life if you give the wrong advice. So always try soft approach and let nature take its course.
@umit_umit (1984)
• India
31 Mar 10
thanks friend,i have finally cause oy your suggestion i will now take adecesion!
@besthope44 (12123)
• India
30 Mar 10
Well, you dont have to force, as you cannot make people do something without their own interest. So as a friend you can talk to him, suggest him that to reconsider, life at outside looks nothing, only when you live, it has meaning, so convince him but dont force!
@umit_umit (1984)
• India
30 Mar 10
true life when lived has got some meaning!true friend wil not force!
@frontvisions101 (16043)
• Philippines
30 Mar 10
Just let him do whatever. He might be in some sorta negative phase and he might need some time off being married again. Just let nature take it's course.
@umit_umit (1984)
• India
30 Mar 10
well true he is very negative says i cant do the same now!true nature will take a ture!very true!!
@p3ks626 (6538)
• Philippines
30 Mar 10
I think someone should not be forced to do something that they dont like. If the person is not ready to do something he should not be forced cause the results are not going to be so good. Its better to do something that you are prepared for cause you will know for yourself that you will really be able to do it.
@umit_umit (1984)
• India
30 Mar 10
wel friens its true,my friend says let me not force anybody i will see what is better for me!says that hardly matters to me to live alone many does this!will my friend can live whole life!what do you say?
