When a person is tense, he passes this on to all around him--Do you agree?

Hi, Have you felt a kind of uneasiness sitting in front of a person always complaining peevishly about something? And have you felt the superior sense of serenity while being with a sagacious person? Then you will probably know the difference between those two sensations. Yes, when you are tensed you are just spreading tension in your surroundings. When you are worried or sad, you are making others around you nervous and sad too. This is why some people prefer to be strong themselves first. They are often called selfish persons. But I think if one has a genuine urge to help others, one first need to help oneself. How can one make others strong if one is not strong oneself? A weak and sentimental person will always make others weak and vulnerable. What do you call it, an influence, or, an induction? But it works indeed, slowly but surely. The method of getting rid of all tensions and worries is often deliberate. This is a time when you stop gaining strength from external factors, and start being little introspective. There, you give more importance to self realization, a perception that no matter what you do, you will always be alone and independent. Freedom is the true nature of human beings. We just forgot this key thing in the humdrum of our prosaic life. As soon as a man gets back to his original self, he gets detached from the outside world. With this detachment comes a certain indifference, which in turn makes you independent of the outside trouble. A truly unperturbed soul is pure and holy, and it always spread peace and happiness in its surroundings. Thanks for starting this wonderful discussion. God bless you

I think the term they use for this is emotional contagion and negative emotions are the most contagious. I try to make conscious efforts not to pass my tension on to others because I don't want to be called an energy vampire. I dropped some friends/acquaintances out of my life because they all they did was bring me down with them. It wasn't healthy.

Hey kalav! I am the nervous, tense person who is easily thrown off balance! I can be hyperactive at times too! And some of my friends are the same so we kind of clash at times and drive each other crazier! I have one friend who makes me very nervous and uptight to be around her because she is bipolar to the extreme! I am just a victim of Major Depressive Disorder and don't have the mood swings! I am the one who makes myself nervous usually and it is something that I honestly can't control. It is a part of my illness. I do take meds for it, but the only help somewhat! So, I try to stay away from my friends that I know are the same way as I am or I will be even worse!

Yes, when you get tensed you will definitely pass it on others.My father usually do like that.I don't get tensed generally. When I am tensed I try to be alone in my room and never want to be with friends because in that situation I may shout at them and finally it ruins our friendship.I love to listen to music during such situations.But all this happens in very rare occasions.

I guess that's true. I also felt that its really need to pass one stress to another. But I'm a type who accept and absorbed stress but I'm not releasing it to others. I'm like a sponges only absorbed.

If that is a friend, I will suggest something that will make him/her cool or relax. If not a friend, I'll just listen and confirm the reasons without giving any thoughts or suggestions. I prefer a quite environment and everybody around me know that. Reason I seldom get annoyed on tense people, they always stay far from me.

Yes, especially when the behavior is passive-aggressive, then it becomes unpleasant for everyone.

Well depends from person to person. Most of the people do tend to pass on the tension to others and it doesnt help anyone, creating more problems for everyone. If you consider me, I never try to show my tension onmy face. So people dont knoe if I am tense or anything. If someone is tense in fromt of me, and sharing it.... instead of me getting tensed too. I think from the solution point of view. and try to provide him with some appropriate advice!

Hi kala, It depend on who the person is? If it is someone close to you then their tension does pass on to you. I am sure I too must be doing that to others close to me.At times I may not even be aware of it .I can sense when a person is not his normal self even if they try to hide it....sometimes they may not want to burden others but, in spite of that I am able to sense that there is some stress, and this automatically makes me tense too...It can the case with me doing the same to others ..

Hi kalav, This is really difficult to digest tension that is passed or imposed on you. It requires a lot of patience and strength of mind not to be affected by others tense condition. To be frank if I am entrusted a task and it is not accomplished in time tension starts boiling inside me. I feel sort of guilty or incompetent and this affects the whole task. But if I am permitted to take my own way and time I have the ability to do the best. Yes, you are right that we need to cultivate the power to resist the outside pressure. Nice discussion.

I'm personally include figure easy to nervous and anxious but I'm never show my nervousness or anxiety to others. When I get nervous or anxious, I just multiply pray to the God

i guess thats one way for other people to release tension from within as sometimes i also do that. like if im angry or mad and someone will talk to me even if they are smiling, i will just shout at them to their surprise. i guess people already know it specially if they know its not really your characteristic to do that so they know that your not in good mood.

that's not true for me. I don't get tense when someone next to me is tense. I just mind my own business unless they talk to me. But i don't get tense either while talking to a tensed up person.

There are times that i feel so tense that i just cant help it but to pass it to others. I know this is particularly bad but i just dont understand why. For example my girlfriend and i had a fight. Then here comes a friend of mine trying to cheer my up by the way he knows how,i easily get irritated with just bout any effort that anybody might do when im feeling tense all the time.. I might seek professional help bout this too ;)

Yes I completely agree. When I see others stressed or nervous it immediately affects me. And I've to confess when I'm stressed I pass my tension on others, even if it's not their fault. I hate to do that but I can't help it, it happens a lot when I'm working on something due soon. I just want to get it done and stress everyone else around me. What really bothers me is when I'm stressed people encourage me and say: it's going to be all right and I'm like: no it's not! I can't get it done. That stresses me a lot more.

A very good discussion. Basically i am a strong person and i do not get tensed at small instances of life.But i do get affected when someone close is passing through a difficult phase in life.It could be from my family or from friends. I make sure not to pass on my tension to others and always manages to leave the professional tensions at professional front and family tensions at home. When i am tensed ,i make sure to discuss it with my partner who consoles me and supports me.

Well thats true sometimes, say i am in good mood and my friend in a bad mood. I would be happy to share and something and if he would be tensed for some reason and he would show his anger on me and i will go into a bad mood. But its good to show out, so one can feel better. Again not always, it can pass. A good friend can handle the tensed friend by passing his good to him.

As you said when I was young I used to get tense but nowadays I really do not know but looks like I am a changed person infact I dvice people when they get tensed. The days when I get tensed my hubby really cools me down.