babysitting
By lornnslady
@lornnslady (7)
United States
March 31, 2010 11:15am CST
Would you be involved in this situation???
Imagine you are a stay at home mom/wife.
You have 2 children ages 14 and 12.
You live in an apartment complex,
and a fellow tenant, a grandmother has
approached you and asked if you would babysit
her grandchildren ages 10 $ 12 three times a week.
(1 boy 1 girl)
Because of the child laws, the boy(older) is not
allowed to babysit his sister.So grandmother says she
needs "someone in the building" to babysit for her after school for 1 hr each day.
Now. here are the main details:
The father and mother of the children are divorced.
Both are in jail currently, and state has taken control of
the children.
Dad fled probation and ended up back in jail.
Mom is a meth addict, and was found living with her kids in a truck
for over a month. Mom is now in jail for the drug charges.
When will the parents get out of jail? I dont know.
Would you put yourself/your children/ your family in this risky
position, and help out the grandmother?
Would you tell her "sorry but no."
If you are a christian, does your answer go along with/ or against your
decision?
I have been put in this situation by the grandmother.
She asked my husband if I would do it, and he said I could,
but didnt ask my opinion firsthand.
He has a good heart, and felt heartbroken as the grandmother
cried on him, and he feels for the children, being once neglected
as a child himself. *but that doesnt excuse him from no asking my permission*
I don't mind helping people in need, but this is going
to become an obligation or expectation.
I feel trapped in this situation. If I say no, I will be
disappointing the children, the grandmother, my husband, and possibly
God for not helping those in need.
(darn conscious isnt helping me either)
Am I being selfish in a time of need?
Am I putting my children at unneccessary risk?
How long is this situation going to last?
1 month? All Summer? weeks? Months? Years? NO one knows.
I feel for this grandmother, and the children.
But I am angry that "someone elses problem" has become mine.
Other people SHOULD take responsibility for their own lives and actions.
This is a burden, for me, as I dont even LIKE Children, even though
I have 2 of my own (by surprise, not planned)
This situation could get bad or work out fine.
The parents could never see their kids again, or they
could break the law and find them, and my kids could end up
in the cross hair of the situation.(kidnapped, killed, hurt?)
My children ride the bus with the grandchildren,
and one of my children has the boy in a class together.
What are your responses? I am looking for any answer,
whether it has to do with God or Not.
Thank you, I just want to know how everyone feels besides my own self.
I want to do the right thing, I just dont know for who.
1 person likes this
2 responses
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
4 May 10
Hi lornslady,
I would be furious with my husband for agreeing for me to do something like this without consulting me first! As for putting yourself or your children in danger, I would say that probably isn't a big concern. I used to babysit for kids after school. It is usually for about an hour or so and the money always came in handy. The thing is that I became the babysitter for these kids and would get asked to watch them on days when there was no school or if the children got sick. If they had to leave school, I was the one they called to go get them. Since your husband already signed you up for this job, I'd probably do it for a couple of weeks. That will give her some time to find someone else. If you don't set a time limit then you are apt to get asked to watch them over the summer and I'm sure you don't want that responsibility.
@sleepylittlerose (1648)
• United States
31 Mar 10
It sounds as if the grandparent has custody of the children? Is this correct? What are the circumstances that she is not able to keep them when they get home from school? Is she working?
I understand that you have reservations because the parents have issues but the children still need the care and support of adult, probably more so no than before. They are feeling abandoned and somewhat lost as the life that they knew was put in disarray by the arrest of their parents. Hopefully the parents are taking this time to reflect upon what they have done to thier children and upon their release they will turn their lives around.
I would recommend a nice long chat with just you and grandma. Get the details of how long she is looking for you to do this, is there any compensation for you, and any other questions you may have regarding the parents release, etc.
Your question to yourself should be, if another parent (ie single mom) asked you to watch her child(ren) after school 3 days a week, how would you respond. If you can say that you would be willing to do so then you really need to look deep as to why you do not feel the same way in this situation.
Your children are no more at risk in this situation than the one I have just describe, probably less risk as you know where the parents are and how long they would be there.
I would give it a trail run. Let grandma know that you will do if for (x) amount of days and if everything goes fine, kids get along, etc. then you will talk to her about extending how long you are willing to do this for.
