you always get the best compliments once you are dead

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i remembered the time my grandma was on her last months of her life. nobody gave her a birthday treat, nobody visited her on chirstmas, new year... no one except us who took care of her her children in the city never even bothered showing up even if they were called (they are busy, stuffs like that). can't blame them because she was one of those persons who are not easy to like. by the moment she died, everything is good on her, it's as if they really cared a lot for her (sheesh, like i believe that...), saying stuff like how they missed her and they loved her sooooooo much. now they are throwing a feast-like celebration on her birthday, the day of her death and the day of the dead (all soul's day). it's been a norm for man to respect the dead, give them the best compliments when he/she is still alive days after his/her death and give her a feast or a celebration to show that they missed that person but why can't we when they are still alive?