Would you cheat if you were in a long distance relationship?
@shermaine1112 (203)
Philippines
April 3, 2010 11:48am CST
I know long distance relationships are hard.
Especially if you're really longing for your loved one.
It's not the long distance relationship that's making it hard,
you know what it is?
" TEMPTATIONS! "
This topic passed through my head just now while I'm having a conversation with my bf.
He said he's going abroad to work.
I'm afraid. Cause I've lost my trust due to his previous trespasses.
I'm thinking... We're together here and still he cheated on me.
What about if we're far apart?
I won't be able to know what's really happening to me.
Scenarios like this pass through my mind:
* yes he can talk to me everyday,after he flirted with some other girl!
* he can say he loves me everytime we talk,but he can date a girl at the same time
* he can say he misses me,but sleep with another girl
* he can tell me that he wanted me there beside him,but already replaced me with another girl whose within his reach.
gosh. these thoughts are so alarming!
here's the question:
IF YOU'RE A GUY AND INTO A LONG-DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP (CONSIDER YOU'RE ENGAGED WITH YOUR GIRL), WOULD YOU CHEAT ON HER JUST BECAUSE SHE CAN'T REALLY SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND YOU CAN EASILY LIE TO HER???
Happy blogging!
~.^ ciao!
2 people like this
19 responses
@pinhornudo (437)
• Brazil
4 Apr 10
Well, by my own experiences with cases like this, I say that I never would cheat on a long distance relationship.
No matter the distance, it still a relationship.
I had a long distance relationship a couple of years ago and I respected her like her did to me.
Even distant, we have to respect who love us.
1 person likes this
@pinhornudo (437)
• Brazil
4 Apr 10
A relation with no respect? Kind of horrible.
Search for a better one. Sorry to say, but I'm being true.
@shermaine1112 (203)
• Philippines
4 Apr 10
Yeah. RESPECT. So important. I guess that's what our relationship was lacking lately.
I wish he had more of that.
Wish he thinks that way too.
happy blogging.
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
3 Apr 10
I believe that if you truly love someone cheating should never be an idea in your mind. I could never cheat on the one i loved. it wouldn't matter if they lived next door or a thousand miles away. Love should be cherished and commitments like that should be honored and respected. Cheating only blemishes the relationship.
1 person likes this
@shermaine1112 (203)
• Philippines
4 Apr 10
I wish he thinks that way. I wish all people are like that. So people would understand the essence of love and commitment.
happy blogging!
@ronaldinu (12422)
• Malta
5 Apr 10
HI shermaine, I think that a loving relationship between a couple should be based on love and reciprocal trust. I believe that if you take one of them there can be no relationship. If you are concerned about him being faithful I would really ask you to reflect on your present situation. If you lack trust in him now things will not improve when he is abroad. I think you must settle this issue before he travels. Is he a trustworthy guy? Is he faithful? If yes he can maintain a faithful relationship. Did you consider of travelling with him? If I am in a loving relationship I would be faithful no matter if my partner lives with me or in a different country. However I would try to limit the time abroad alone to a short period. I would lack the emotional and physical support so much.
@shermaine1112 (203)
• Philippines
11 Apr 10
Faithful? He has some past issues about that. Currently,he's proving himself to me that he's serious now. He talks about engagement and marriage now. That's how serious he is now. Well,I wish this works for the both of us.
Happy blogging! ;)
@skysuccess (8858)
• Singapore
3 Apr 10
shermaine1112,
You have your relationship (potentially a marriage) to consider, yet your heart has conjured another space to fill in another person into the picture.
This dark secret hidden in your psyche - you must decide if it's a push or pull factor that is causing your plight.
Often, people fail to see that their relationship has already been doomed long ago, resulted from malicious causes that have inflicted irrevocable damage. Just that the decision to leave their relationship wasn't effected, until the advert of a catalysis to change (in your situation, it might be the person you have fallen for).
Our monogamy society is such that a heart cannot house love for two separate individuals, just like an ancient old Chinese adage where it says 'a mountain cannot be home to two tigers'.
You got to decide what you need and stick with it.
Remaining in the best of both worlds (or status quo) will only promise you greater misery, hardship and karmic repercussion.
Don't stoop so low as to be another cheat but leave him - move on. If you want to seek new islands, you got to first lose sight of the shores.
Take care.
Take care.@skysuccess (8858)
• Singapore
6 Apr 10
shermaine1112,
As far as your devotion and commitment in this fractured relationship is concern, I really admire your guts but I do not fancy or want to be in your shoes, here.
Pardon me, if I am being cynical here but your boyfriend really have issues where it is literally written all over his forehead that says: "You do not deserve such a cheat!" And honestly, you really deserve someone better.
I know about forgiving a person but then, this forgiveness is not a given or a mulligan. Your boyfriend has not even able to prove his changed ways and he is already moving out to work in another faraway place. I'd say, you'd not only have to learn to live without him but to really take a step backwards as far as this relationship with him is concerned. Believe me, it will do both parties a world of good especially for you.
To me, just contemplating or fantasizing about being and/or having someone other than our significant other half is already cheating. That's why I suggested leaving before moving on with another relationship here. Hope you catch my drift here.
@shermaine1112 (203)
• Philippines
4 Apr 10
Lovely response. But I think it's the opposite. He's the one who's been cheating. I've nothing to hide. I've been faithful and he knows it.
He's the one who's trying so hard to get my trust.
About moving on,I'm trying my best now.
I'm learning to live without him,but it hurts so bad.
happy blogging!
1 person likes this
@shermaine1112 (203)
• Philippines
20 Apr 10
My mom told me about the "fantasizing thing" also. She said even a mere link with another person besides your partner is already cheating. She coined the term "emotional cheating" when it comes to cheating.
happy blogging!
I sure did caught your drift! ;) wink.
@valentinesdiner (1214)
• United States
3 Apr 10
Wow, I am sooooo old school on this one.
Cheating is cheating and it will come out in some form or another - - in how she will not satisfy him no matter what she does. When the long distance girlfriendship crashes and burns (as it will), that gap that it has caused in the relationship with the real grilfriend will be there and maybe even widen.
Cheating is cheating.
1 person likes this
@shermaine1112 (203)
• Philippines
4 Apr 10
Yeah. I'm afraid of the pressure of having long distance relationships. We've been through it already. We're living in 2 cities that's far from each other. What more if he goes abroad?? gosh.
happy blogging!
@shermaine1112 (203)
• Philippines
4 Apr 10
Ohh. So the love just faded due to lock of bonding?
Good for you if cheating is not an option for you. Good one.
Happy blogging!
@livvy092002 (1032)
• Philippines
4 Apr 10
They say a guy will always be a guy.. what they mean is that guys will always have penchant for other girls even when they already have a commitment to someone. They even say that guys are naturally polygamous... it's in their nature.. but they can be also become faithful if they really want to!!!
But if i were you girl, don't mind what is your boyfriend is up to.. you will just go crazy if you would think about all the possibilities of his unfaithfulness. You have more important things to do in life, so don't get stuck with a cheat boyfriend.lol.
@shermaine1112 (203)
• Philippines
4 Apr 10
Totally right.
I'm trying to live day by day without him.
I'm starting to move on in my own pace.
But I just got so paranoid when I knew all about his cheating.
Happy blogging!
@frontvisions101 (16043)
• Philippines
3 Apr 10
I would cheat on her if i was in a long distance relationship. It's me you're asking, right? That's my answer. But It's really up to you if you can trust your partner. All men are different. Don't generalize us. I may be a pig but your partner may be capable of change. You'll never know.
@frontvisions101 (16043)
• Philippines
4 Apr 10
Well, as you said, it's not cheating if i break up with her. :)
@shermaine1112 (203)
• Philippines
3 Apr 10
Well,that's your answer. But I'm wondering,why would you let the relationship go on and cheat while you're away? Why don't you just end it up and do your thing,right?
Be single if you would only cheat on a girl. At least if you're single,it won't be called cheating but just flings.
happy blogging! ;)
@madteaparty (2748)
• Japan
4 Apr 10
Well, I'm not a dude, but I have been in long distance relationships more than once, and I have never felt the need to cheat.
If you really love someone, the thought of cheating won't pass through your mind even for a second. However, if a person cheats on you, that person will do no matter if you're near or far. Distance isn't what matters but that person's personality is.
@shermaine1112 (203)
• Philippines
4 Apr 10
I guess if true love is involve,no one would cheat.
Happy blogging!
@lipstick2009 (1236)
• Philippines
4 Apr 10
For me cheating is a serious crime and i cant promise i can forgive.
If i caught my bf to be cheating on me , i dont think i can ever trust him again.
Well i might, but it will really take a long time and i will be expecting a lot of effort from him to prove his worth.
For me, if my bf can't be honest and faithful to me while he is here , i dont think he can be a better person when he is so far away from my prying eyes.
Being a man is not an excuse for infidelity. Cause most men will say "boys will be boys".Nope that doesnt apply to the 21st century anymore.
Women today wants more equality. They can be faithful but they demand the same kind of faithfulness from their man. If not..."lets just forget about it".
(^_^)
Dont get so affected by a feminist viewpoint.
Follow your heart my dear.
@shermaine1112 (203)
• Philippines
4 Apr 10
Great response.
You're sooooooo right girl!!!
but as for me,I've been through it.
Once cheating has been done and you've lost your trust.
Nothing will be the same again for the both of you.
That happened to me and still experiencing it now.
Happy blogging!
@shermaine1112 (203)
• Philippines
4 Apr 10
You're so right. Love how you inspired me with God's wisdom. Thanks a lot.
happy blogging!
@basqui (3888)
• Philippines
4 Apr 10
Well, i cheated on my girl when she was away. Well, what can i do? She spoiled me with all those caresses and making up and making love whenever we are together so I couldn't help to find someone who can give me those things when she was away. It's just that the trust really vanishes when you do it. We are not together anymore. But i still have lots of flings.
@shermaine1112 (203)
• Philippines
5 Apr 10
ooh. naughty much! Well,I hope someday you will realize the essence of commitment.
Love isn't just about caresses and stuff. I guess you didn't really love your girl.
You're too weak to resist temptations. Well,I'm not a preacher here. hehe
But trust me. It feels good to love someone truly.
It's much better to be the good person at the end of the day.
Happy blogging!
@dr9rim (247)
• Australia
4 Apr 10
the textbook answer would be 'no. I would never cheat'
but will people really decide to cheat on their long-distance partner when the 'opportunity' comes is not so easy to answer.
to me i think we all should be more 'traditional' in this matter. if a guy/girl have a partner, a commitment, be it long-distance or not, they should act like they're in a relationship.
and trust is important in relationship. if you can't trust you partner to go somewhere for work etc, you'll start to think EVERY move he makes it bad and you actually start to look for his faults, sometimes even creating one.
@shermaine1112 (203)
• Philippines
4 Apr 10
What you've said in the last part is our situation now. Soooo hard!
hAppy blogging anyway. ;)
@apples99 (6556)
• United States
4 Apr 10
Don't really believe in the long distance thing because its not always true that absence makes the heart grow fonder especially not in a still developing relationship, being apart from the one you love for a long period of time can cause rifts and temptation's and certain people aren't strong enough to resist temptation, so I feel that if your in a relationship and you cant see that person much at all it will be much to hard to make it work. in short the long distance thing just isent my thing.
With that said, I think cheating is wrong, and I think if a person feels that they are not strong enough to be in a committed relationship of any sort then dont try to be in a relationship. I would never cheat on someone I cared about and if I ever thought about cheating and I never would, but if I did, I would brake up before any physical act was committed, I would not lie about it or try and stay in the relationship while having feelings for someone else its just not right to mislead or keep serious secrets from a significant other, its just my opion and I understand and respect that everyones views may differ from mine.
@shermaine1112 (203)
• Philippines
4 Apr 10
Yeah. we have the same point of view. Cheating is like holding sand. You're trying to hold as much as you can but sadly,only the ones on your palm will be left. You can't have the best of both worlds - and you can't have a lot of girls in a relationship.
Couples who endure Long Distance Relationships are the ones who really know love.
Well happy blogging!
@pitstryke (310)
• Philippines
20 Apr 10
I will never cheat my girl. I'm in a relationship now. We're quite far to each other.
I'm a jealous guy and I don't want other guy to be close to my girlfriend. I know she doesn't want me to be close to another girl since we do have limited time to see each other. And it's not easy to tell a lie, it will give me sleepless nights.
@shermaine1112 (203)
• Philippines
3 Apr 10
Yeah i know. Tough question huh?
But people who can withstand the pressure of long distance relationships can really have a successful relationship. People who can refrain from temptations know how to really love a person whole heartedly. I do believe that if you give your whole heart to someone,you won't be available to anyone because your heart is with your partner. Only true love survives.
Happy blogging!
@monkeylong (3139)
• Guangzhou, China
4 Apr 10
Yeah, as far as I am concerned, I think I will not cheat the perosn who is in good relationship with me, but in a very long distance place. I think I will remember him or her in my heart. I may try my best to keep in touch with him or her,but without a cheating at all. I hate the people who usually cheat others.
@shermaine1112 (203)
• Philippines
4 Apr 10
I hate cheaters too. I have my boyfriend as an example of a cheater. I wish he's more like that. I've invested my life to him and I don't deserve to be cheated. I've loved him with all of my heart. He loves me too but I guess he's too generous! He shares it with some girls too! shocks! X(
happy blogging!
@apoljuice1 (730)
• Philippines
3 Apr 10
I don't think I would cheat on my husband if we were in a long distance relationship. I've long graduated from that phase of my life and no longer see it as exciting, but I see it as part of bad karma. But If my husband cheated on me, no matter how hard it was, I wouldn't be able to last in that relationship. Although I don't start anything like cheating in a relationship, it will definitely kill me and the trust I have for him. I'd probably end up cheating him back just so I can say gotcha back. Which isn't even healthy in a relationship.
So basically I start anything to ruin a relationship. But once something goes on in his end, that's that.
@shermaine1112 (203)
• Philippines
3 Apr 10
Been through that. But I did not really cheat. My cousin and I set him up to make him jealous. And it worked. He learned his lesson and trying so hard to prevent any conversation from other girls which I'm aware of.
Well,happy blogging!
