My father left his church.
By blue65packer
@blue65packer (11826)
United States
April 3, 2010 11:43pm CST
My 86 year old father quit is church he has been a member of since he was born! I couldn't believe this when I heard it! I at first thought it was a joke! No it wasn't! The church,which I grew up in,is a joke! My father can't live on his own since he had a mine stroke last year and had a few other health issues. He is a widower and he lives with his girlfriend who is a widow. Anyway the church got wind of this and told my father they didn't like the living arrangements! The father and his girlfriend are living in sin in the eyes of the church! My dad had to go in front of the church board and explain himself. He did but they didn't by it! My dad got pissed off and left the church! The only one his ever belonged to! I think this is stupid,rude,unforgivible,senseless and a joke! My father is not in neeed of a nursing home for goodness sake! Myself and my siblings don't live close enough,except the younger brother who still has kids at home,to take care of my father! My old church expected my father changed this! Give me a break! They owe him an apology for being idiots! My old church never were very helpful or caring in the past. Now I find out it has gotten worse! This is one reason,of many, I don't want to belong to any church! Unbelievible!
2 people like this
8 responses
@arvindnair (45)
• India
4 Apr 10
i agree with you completely, this is totally unacceptable behaviour from an institution which people depend on and look up to for giuidance, difficult to believe.....a very sad situation to be in especially in these times when more and more people are loosing faith in the institution because of scandals and problems within the church....
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
8 Apr 10
You are right! This situation is totally unacceptable! This church is way not from perfect! When I moved away and when my younger brother joined his wives church we both were excommunicated! I have also heard over the years the church didn't help people in need who had asked for it! My old church has a really bad problems! I doubt they will clear their act up anytime soon!
@donclaudio (110)
• Philippines
4 Apr 10
You can not find a perfect church. if you find a perfect one, and you will become a member. That church will not be perfect anymore. Always put in your heart that you are attending church because of Jesus Christ and not because of anybody. Your faith will not grow.
@donclaudio (110)
• Philippines
9 Apr 10
I hope and pray that you can find a church where you can exercise and help you grow your faith as a good Christian
@snoopyfan (1312)
• United States
4 Apr 10
I am sorry that happened to your father. It is not the reason you don't want to go to church. You have not wanted to go for a long time. You end by saying you don't want to belong to any church. Just because one group didn't treat you with respect doesn't mean all of them are like that.
There are a lot of wonderful churches with people who are there to help. My church was nothing but supportive when my mother had a stroke, was in a nursing home for a year and then passed away. They would visit her and I had 110% support from not only my priests and deacon but the whole office staff and many people who went are in my church.
That was 6 years ago and I still get support from them and they are always there for me.
It sounds like that church is sending the wrong message and that is also very sad. We are called to be respectful, loving and kind. We are to try and be like Jesus as best we can.
You have to remember even the devil can get in a church and cause his evil and nastiness to spread.
I hope you still have faith in God even though you have had a lot of bad experiences with the church. Please don't be mad at Him because man can be very stupid at times.
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
9 Apr 10
I did try another church which i joined and was a member for 5 years. I didn't like it. I felt the church only cared about getting all the money they could out of their members! I found out they were not helpful and did not do enough or anything to get the people of the congergation togehter that were single! I found out to the church didn't have an open mind about anything and I didn't like that! So I don't trust churches. I believe in God and you don't need to go or belong to a church to believe in him. Growing up being pressure to go to church while growing up and attneding a k-8th grade christian school didn't help either! I still carry those things around with me! It goes deeper then you can imagine! It is the 21th century. Churhes needs to get with the times!
@snoopyfan (1312)
• United States
9 Apr 10
So the real reason you are against churches is because you were forced to go when you were a child. The doors are always open. Sounds more like you have a lot of issues with your childhood and they way you were raised and using the church as a excuse.
It really doesn't matter to me if you go to Church or not. I already know how great the church is and nothing you can say will change my mind.
God bless and I hope you get all the help you need to deal with all of your issues.
As for your comment the church didn't help you or get all the single people together you could have come up with a program and asked the church if you could start it. That is how ministries are started by the people who go to the church. We have all kinds of activites at my church and my community is awesome we are not all about money.
It sounds to me you are the one with the closed mind.
Good luck
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
4 Apr 10
Remember that the Church is different from the groups within the Church. The sanctity of the church is not always carried out by the members. One good example would be the time of Jesus when the Pharisees (the heads of the church) weren't really taking by heart the teachings of the Lord, it doesn't mean the Church was at fault, it was the people in the church that was to be judged.
So, your father leaving the church isn't really him living the faith. He just left the 'group'. Faith is in your heart which is why I'm not really active with those groups because religion is about the individual and how the teachings of the religion or faith transcends through the things you do to yourself and to others.
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
8 Apr 10
I didn't look it at that way. My dad didn't leave his faith. He just left the "group" who were being jerks! I don't belong to a church and have not for along time. One reason is I see things like this happen to people that don't deserve this! I might dislike my dad in alot of ways but the church was being ridulous about this situation and should be ashamed of themselves!
1 person likes this
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
11 Apr 10
Well, who can blame them? These old folks (most of them older - or closer to stepping to heaven's gates in age) are far too busy to being good because as I said 'they're close to heaven in age', which is why any sort of 'sin' or anything that goes against their beliefs would not be tolerated.
You cannot blame them, neither could your father. It doesn't mean they're wrong, neither does it say it's right. It's about preference really.
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
6 Apr 10
Hi, blue65packer. These people at his old church should let God judge him and his girlfriend. They should not look at your father's personal sins and dismiss him from his own childhood church. These people are not the real deal when it comes to religion and the true meaning of God. In God's eyes, all is welcome in his temple.
If your father has sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, then let God and only him make this decision on whether to judge or punish your father. This is between him and God not his church members. Judge not lest thou be judged!
These church members are hypocrites!
If your father has sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, then let God and only him make this decision on whether to judge or punish your father. This is between him and God not his church members. Judge not lest thou be judged! These church members are hypocrites!@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
9 Apr 10
Yes. That is good point. The church members ar hypocrites and they should be ashamed of themselves! Churches should not judge members like they are God! They shouldn't judge anyone,period! You are right God is the one who is doing the judging! If God feels my dad has sinned he'll something about it. God will do that with the hypocrites at the church,also! Same on them!!
@madteaparty (2748)
• Japan
5 Apr 10
Good for your father! I mean, no church has the right to tell your father how to live, so I am glad that he can stand up for himself and take the right decision in the right time 
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
9 Apr 10
Thank you! You are the first person to say that! I was very happy to hear my dad did this too! No church can tell a person how and where to live! That is not right and very rude! I know he made the right decision and he does,too! More people need to stand up to their church! Amen!
@albert2412 (1782)
• United States
4 Apr 10
We used to go to church where we lived, but people in the church nearly always mistreated us. They would walk away from us after and before services and not invite us to their parties that they would have. They hurt us very much by doing these things to us. They made things even worse when they mistreated our two sons. When our oldest son at age 12 years old became autistic soon after getting the mmr school shot containing mercury, things got even worse going to church. People did not sit around us or talk to us a lot. To get rid of us (I think) someone even falsely accused us of stealing our own Bibles! We stopped going to churches where we live and now have church services at home.
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
9 Apr 10
That is the way I feel about my father's church. I had heard over the years the church didn't help the people who needed it. Especially the ones who really needed it. When I attended that church I felt people were cold and lifeless. It sounds like their are still like that and uncaring. These are some of the reasons I don't and probaly will never join a church again!
@donclaudio (110)
• Philippines
4 Apr 10
What is your religion? You must believe. If you will not, what will you believe? As long as what the church teaching is accordance to the bible, that is good.
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
8 Apr 10
It is a Wisconsin Lutheran Church. The heck with the bible! I believe the bible,the Old Testament is mostly of made up or exaggerated true stories! Things change! This 2010! Not like 3,000 years ago! My father is old and his girlfriend isn't either! He is 86 and she is 73! Let them live out their lives the way they want to! I believe the church wants my ailing father to be in a nursing home were he won't be happy! Even if then are living in sin,big deal! HE IS 86 AND SHE IS 73!!! What the heck is the big deal! I'd really like to know?
