taking in a family friend
By caydensmom
@caydensmom (149)
United States
April 4, 2010 8:52pm CST
okay, my 16 year old brother has a friend that got kicked out of his ouse because his dad busted him stealing his weed. so he has been living with my mom, me, my son, and my brother since christmas. now my brothers friend "chris" (changed the name) was sitting outside with my brother across chris's old house where he got kicked out. chris's sister and dad came outside and talked about chris like he wasnt there, saying negative things. my mom was offended by what was said and posted a status on facebook hinting towards chris's family since chris's sister is a friend of my moms on facebook. chris's sister confrunted my mother and they argued. i know chris lies because he has stolen things from me as well. like pills and money. chris dropped out of school and parties and is jobless. i know my mom is doing a good deed by taking him in. but how far can this go? my mom got billed for chris's trip to the e.r a month ago. not his father. any advice?
2 people like this
7 responses
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
5 Apr 10
If he is still under age it should be the responsibility of his father and not of your mother. I think that it was very courageous of your mother to take in the boy to whom was kicked out of his own house. Now let me get this straight, he was caught stealing his father's weed? Well to me it sounds as if the family isn't really all that... well I don't want to judge but I guess I already have, it seems like the family isn't all that stable.
Remember the boy could be emancipated in which case he would need to get a job (or have one already) and could live out on his own or at the very least forced to pay rent.
May I ask what the bill for the ER was for? I mean and how expensive was it? If it's too personal it's too personal and I understand, I just know the ER can be very expensive.
@caydensmom (149)
• United States
5 Apr 10
yeah his dad chose weed over his own son how sad is that? and his mom passed away as well. he was supposed to be getting a check every month along with his sister. however since he was kicked out he was no longer recieving the money, which his dad was keeping. and the bill was a little of $2,000. and it was because he got drunk, pissed off, and punched a window. and got into a fight and his nose was punched. my mother did a great thing but my brother and his friend walk all over us. and im sick of it
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
5 Apr 10
Sounds like your little one doesn't need to be growing up around that kind of influence either. Wish you could do something about it, there's only so much a person can do to help before it's become too much.
@caydensmom (149)
• United States
5 Apr 10
my only option is to move down to my bf's but his lease dosent expire until july. and he lives only in a 1 bedroom. so we have to get a 2 bedroom. my son is almost 7 months and they are good around my son. its just my mother refuses to see my brother and his friend as moochers and stealers and liers.
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
5 Apr 10
Well, I don't see why you couldn't talk to your mom about it? Tell her about the stuff he stole from you. Perhaps your mom is just blinded with compassion that she no longer sees that the kid obviously has problems all on his own. Similarly, staying a while doesn't mean staying forever, sooner or later he should be able to step out of your house without ruining a friendship and trust.
Talk to your mom. Ask her when this drama would be over so you guys could live your lives.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
13 Apr 10
You need to take responsibility for your own life and that of your son! I know it's hard and I'm not being a jerk to you. I was 21 when I had my first daughter. I've raised four kids on my own. You need to get your name on housing lists and get out from under your mom's wing. It doesn't sound like a good and stable place to be raising your son.
1 person likes this
@caydensmom (149)
• United States
5 Apr 10
i already told her about the things stolen from me. i dont have a lock on my door plus i cant lock it because my son sleeps in there. her response was to keep it hidden. well i did. i had vicoden from the dentist after i had my teeth pulled. i only took a few, and i counted out how many i had left. there was about 2-4 taken from the bottle. i know this because he had asked me if i had anything he could get a high from. my brother and his friends steal my prozac, money, anything they can. and my mom just tells me to keep an eye on it. what am i supposed to do? keep a suitcase of all my valueable and pills and what not and carry it along with me everywhere? that i cannot do. so..... yeah.
@palonghorn (5479)
• United States
5 Apr 10
Sounds to me like your mom isn't doing him any favors. And I hope for your sake and the sake of your son, that Child Protective Services doesn't get called because of this. I'm surprised the hospital didn't call it in, underage, drunk, and hurt. I would find a solution and quick. Why did your mom get billed for the e.r trip? Has any papers been signed that gives her guardianship over this boy? If not, then the hospital shouldn't have even treated him without his father's permission. My opinion, your mom needs to wake up and smell the coffee........before it comes up missing.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
13 Apr 10
Seems like your mom has enough on her plate with you and your baby and your 16 yr old brother. Why in the world is she adding to it by taking in another kid that is troubled? If she took this kid to the Er then she must of signed papers stating that she was responsible for him and his treatment. That means she is also responsible for the bill. He dropped out of school and parties and is jobless and your mom is enabling him by taking him in. He steals pills and money. You are defending him? So your mom is supporting your 16 yr old brother, her 21yr old daughter and her grandson and also the other kid? How unfair to your mom!! She sounds like one of those people that just wants to help and take care of everyone. The only person she should have to be supporting here is her 16 yr old son! As for the father paying the E.R. bill. Why should he? your mom took over as parent it appears. Did the dad sign papers being responsible for this kid in the E.R? Did he even know the kid went to the E.R.? What was he in there for?
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
13 Apr 10
Oh well, if she gave consent then that is like saying that she is going to be responsible for the bill. I'm sure that she could get that changed up as long as she has not signed any papers being his legal guardian. Actually, if she is not his legal guardian, I am surprised that they allowed her to give consent. I used to babysit kids and I could not give consent for any treatment unless I had signed statements from the parents stating that I could. As for getting a job, I do know that it is tough. They are hard to find around here also.
@caydensmom (149)
• United States
13 Apr 10
ok this is the story about the e.r my mom didnt take him, the friend he was hanging out with took him to the e.r they tried calling his father but he didnt answer. so they called my mom, she gave consent to treatment. and i dont know where you are from but im from michigan and jobs are next to impossible to find. belive me im trying to get on my own. i dont want to be here. and my brother acts like he can do his on crap. he runs around town all the time, only comes home to eat and sleep. thats it, he disrepects my mom all the time. she trys her best but he walks all over her.
@valentinesdiner (1214)
• United States
5 Apr 10
Good luck... it is teaching a lot about charity and generosity. Your family will remember this time for a long time and this caring for others despite the cost in time and money will be a lesson learned for years.
I hope that the lying and stealing that may come again will not darken the message of caring for others. There may come a time... soon... when the cost will be more than the benefit.
Good luck, folks!
@caydensmom (149)
• United States
5 Apr 10
well i know helping people out is a great selfless thing to do. however there is a certain point where u just keep giving and giving and the person taking it just throws it on the floor and stomps all over it. that u just have to say enough is enough.
@tiguer23000 (93)
• France
5 Apr 10
hi mylot friends
The truth that most of the years with and doing many things in our battery is no longer responding benefit will do what the only solution is to look behind the reason for this from the beginning and attempt treatment. I wish you happiness and the matter is resolved with the help of God.
@ronaldinu (12422)
• Malta
5 Apr 10
Hi cydensmom I think you need professional support here. Its a situation that seems greater than you can take and professional people should step in. If the guy is a weed addict he should be weaned slowly from his vice. I am glad he found your support but he must be encouraged to stop this vice by instilling positive things in his life. He is a school drop out right. Things should be set straight and encouraged to further his education and continue schooling. I hope that you manage to sort this out since it will drain you out emotionally and financially later on in life
