I need a friendly advice!

This sounds scarily like all those episodes of Law and Order: SVU and Without A Trace and the like. Sadly, there are people in this world that will manipulate, use and abuse others for their own profit and sick pleasure. I would advise your friend to get out before something bad happens and while she still can.

The best thing she can do for herself is to not be dependent on him financially or for any reason. He is controlling her with money and she is allowing it.It is good that she does not have kids yet because that would only add to his control. She needs to get a job and stand up for herself. She is only a servant because she is allowing herself to be in that position. She has to take control of her own life. It's the only one she has and she is letting him control it. If she is afraid of him then it isn't love. Show her this thread.

i don't think your friend' husband is the person who really loves your friend. i guess he just want to find a person who can serive for him. it is definitly selfish, he doesn't deserve your friend. my sugesstion is leaving him as soon as possible, and find the right person to spend her rest life.

It's up to your friend if she's going to decide whether to put up with his ways or to stand up for herself. If she doesn't want to stand up for herself then whatever you say to her won't work.

First of all I don't want to add more pain to injury but why did she marry a guy that she only meet and know in the internet? I think her husband is a scam. That what he looking after all. A woman that he can use. I think she must talk to a guy. But if she think that guy will turn violent. Then she must talk to a lawyer or go to Philippine embassy for help. .. She must know the guy first before she marry that guy.

If she's not happy then she has to do something about it. If she could talk to her family at home then maybe they could come up with a plan. Is her husband hurting her physically? if he does then she should find someone who can help her there.

That is a risk that happens even when you marry someone you meet in real. So, hers is not an isolated case and I wouldn't say it is the result of an internet romance. My cousin is planning to marry a Filipino who he met on the net. They have already stayed together without marriage in India as well as the UK. They might be getting married at the end of this year. Coming back to your friend's case...this situation is quite common in India even when the marriage has been an arranged one. I can also understand her fear. His words and actions might have totally eroded her self-esteem and she feels like no one can help her....and she wouldn't be able to tell her family knowing that besides being sorry for her, they might not be able to help her. Would you be able to talk to her family to let them know? Maybe that was what she was trying to do...looking for help..or wanting you to tell her family because she didn't have the courage to do so.

that is the risk of having someone of different culture and not knowing the real person. similar stories can be heard from other filipinas who married other nationalities. but there are happy stories too. i think the question is, what is keeping her to stay with the guy? if it is financial security, then she can work and have it. if it is love, then reap the joys and pains of it. if it is about relationships, she can have someone who will really understand her and let her be.

Unfortunately there is a bad stereotype of women from such places like the phillipines and some other countries in certain places. I'm sure its not the truth but I've heard lots of thing said like they are pushovers and will allow themselves to be treated badly and thats why some men from other places go after them. Some of the men say that that thats not true but I know that some do marry over there because of that stereotype. Your friend shouldn't be afraid but look into the laws about her rights and how to protect herself. If this man is treating her that way, then she should feel blessed that he doesn't want to have a child with her. That would only prolong her issue and make it worse and bad on the child.

let her family know through you of her situation. as for her, she probably is resigned to her fate. we may never know but her actions do indicate this.

That is really hard because your friend is already married with the person. Differences usually are settled when they go out and right before they get married they should know already the ins and outs of eachother. Since the husband is an australian, she really has to learn how to communicate with her husband and have a good relationship with him and talk about finances, etc.

I wonder this is love between them, If I am that girl who should considerate well before she leave for Australia, When she is at home, Her relatives can help her if she is in trouble, But If in Australia, Nobody can help her. I suggested the girl to know more about the guy, sounds strange....

I understand the situation and your concern about your friend's situation. There are two options; (1)to get away or (2) stay waiting. Off course since they are married, then she could always ask for freedom through divorce. The other option is to stick around and wait for a change of his husband's decision and plans. But that doesn't guarantee if he would really change, really up to her on how to deal and let her husband understand what she wanted. I wouldn't want to blame her for the cause of problem. I know that by the time she committed herself to marry the Aussie probably she was hopeful or perhaps, inlove with him. But my point is that; a year or two is not even enough to know the person and a time to think if he/she is the right person you could spend the rest of your life with. Also, knowing that there is an issue with culture, that must be put into consideration before a firm decision to marry. And they just had 3 months. Needless to say that she never knew the Aussie well before they got married. Anyway, it would be best for you to tell her that if she's no longer happy then be free and move on. She has the right to be happy and a good vision to help her family is also great. After ending it up, what had happened to her would be a lesson learned and helpful enough in picking the right guy in the future.

well i think the husband of your friend don't want a family maybe the guy had experience something bad about family maybe you'll friend ought to ask the guy about his family background cause the fact that they just meet through chatting then after 3 months they decide to get married in the expand of 3 months time im pretty sure your friend don't know many fact about certain things with his partner,and maybe the guy is thinking that if they will have kids maybe the guy is afraid to lose the attention of his wife maybe the guy is jealous for attention.

My boyfriend's sister married a German. They both have the same situation because the guy doesn't also want her to get pregnant because he doesn't want that his wife would lessen the attention that she's been giving to him. But the German was generous and supportive to her. I think your friend should break up with that man. He's no use. If things can't be resolve by means of a calm conversation, she should find ways to get rid of that man.

She needs to get out of that situation... It sounds like her husband was looking for someone to take his mother's place.. Someone that would take care of him and ONLY HIM.. I am not sure what the laws are in Australia.. But my suggestion to you would be is to either figure out a reason for her to have to visit in the Philippines in person... or Figure out a way that you can set something up to go their with meet up with some locals.. and go get her the heck out of there before its too late...

I do not sense anything wrong goin' on. There was no sign of abuse or maltreatment. He wasnt angry at her nor punched her. She must be fed up with him and didn't expect him to be so self-centered but then it is normal that a man needs the help of a woman. The only exception is when the husband cannot give something in return. One try I suggest to your friend is to tell her husband that if he really loved her then he must prove it. That's for now I think.

I pity your friend so much. It is just as if the foreigner married her to be his maidservant. He doesn't really love her. Because if he did, he would give her wife freedom. tsk tsk. Your friend should get out of there as soon as possible and have a divorce. How old is this guy? Does she really love him? Because if she is being tied up like a dog, the husband also has a bigger chance of having a mistress. If the man is already old, maybe she should wait, the money will be hers anyway, she can build a bigger business if she'll wait.

This is a situation of an over-possessive husband. I think she needs to sort things out with her husband and speak clearly with him. IF this works out it is fine but if it does not, then she needs expert legal advice to get her out of this problem. I guess a Lawyer would obviously help her. Nobody has the right to interfere in somebody's living and imprison them. Its a violation of human rights. My suggestion would be 1) Face to Face Talk IF it DOES NOT work out, then 2) Legal Help.. Happy mylotting..

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