" but some women are black, .. not beautiful ." What did this person mean?
@Hatley (163776)
Garden Grove, California
April 7, 2010 10:31am CST
I wonder sometimes if we posters really are careful enough in wording our discussions. I read this sentence in and out of context and still do not know what the poster meant, Now this person is posting this in a discussion of why do women want to make up and make themselves look beautful, etc. Nothing wrong with the topic but in making a statement about some women are black and putting not beautful in the mix of the sentence, does this not come close to putting down black women on a global forum where there must be lots of black women. Do we have any right to discriminate here in a forum open to all people from all over the world? I really do not know if this person meant what it appears to mean or if it was just carelessly worded. My question to all is would all of us not need to be more careful not to word any discussion to sound like we are discriminating against any race, relegion or what have you? I do realize when you have English as a second language you may have problems translating but given the touchiness of racism is it not best to have someone who can help you translate and avoid sounding racist?
16 people like this
42 responses
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
7 Apr 10
Hi, Hatley. That does sound very discriminating. It is like this person is saying that black women are not beautiful. Not to sound so arrogantly, but I am half black and I am considered to be very beautiful by myself and to many people.
I don't know what this person meant, but it sure did not sound very nice and appealing. It is true that you have many women that are of different races that are not so beautiful, it not just only implies to black women. I don't know why this member said this, but it is very hateful and racist.
I don't know what this person meant, but it sure did not sound very nice and appealing. It is true that you have many women that are of different races that are not so beautiful, it not just only implies to black women. I don't know why this member said this, but it is very hateful and racist.4 people like this
@jerzgirl (9291)
• United States
7 Apr 10
Admittedly, I don't know the context in which this was used, but I can't help wondering if they were referring to the once popular phrase "Black is Beautiful" and maybe were saying that it isn't necessarily true, without realizing that the phrase refers to more than appearance alone. There are people who look better with makeup, there are people who look more like hookers when they have makeup on and there are those whose appearances probably can't be helped short of surgery. But, the idea that a group of people is beautiful is a psychological or sociological image rather than a physical one. In fact, as one responder says, EVERYONE is beautiful. But, again, I don't know what the conversation was about - pro-makeup, anti-makeup, whatever - to know if I'm even close to being accurate. We have so many idioms in English that others learning don't know aren't literal - if this person isn't a native speaker, they may be taking the phrase literally.
3 people like this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
7 Apr 10
hi cream and jersy girl I answered this once but my comment went by and by. I think this person who made a discussion wondering whywe woman want to use make up and dress up and so on and on does not really understand some of what he wrote but if so he should get someone to translate the English meanings of any idioms and also to check for racist remarks. I have a feeling he really meant it but hope he did not mean it.
3 people like this
@GardenGerty (160488)
• United States
8 Apr 10
Like Jerzgirl I thought of that promotional phrase. I was afraid I knew who started this discussion but the more I read the more I know it was not the person I suspect, who often says things that make me go "Huh?". Some people do not like makeup, and in some countries even a light color, if not "white" is considered to be a black person.
2 people like this
@hora_fugit (5863)
• India
7 Apr 10
I too think it's problem of translation.... and pretty bad! I'm not so sure about using word 'dark' instead, too? So a translator for me too 
But it does show that we need to word our thoughts carefully. Why, only a second glance over the sentence could have told the poster that something is wrong!
I don't understand why people want to be fairer, even me...
But it does show that we need to word our thoughts carefully. Why, only a second glance over the sentence could have told the poster that something is wrong!
I don't understand why people want to be fairer, even me...@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
7 Apr 10
hi hora fugit and voldroz I think it was too, but why are all of us wanting to change our skin colors, if God made us we must all be pretty darned good in the colors he chose.yes we are best suited the way we all are as you saidVoldrox. thanks for thumbs up here.
4 people like this
yes i agree with you hora_fugit.. after fairness creams came out for women, so did for men...! it's all business.!
We are best suited the way we all are.... 
@vandana7 (100123)
• India
8 Apr 10
Hey Hora, did you ever read Mills & Boon stories? At least the ones that came about 30 odd years ago. The heroes were mostly Spanish, or Italian, at times from one of the middle eastern countries, always tall, dark, and handsome. That I think was racist! Pity nobody sued the company. They'd have got lots of money. :)
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (160488)
• United States
8 Apr 10
I am so glad that MyLot is a multinational forum, it teaches us so much. It does lead to some difficulties at times, though. I have read of other posts where the idea of being light is important. Not just in one country. And as someone said, here in the US people used to tan, excessively. My aunt developed vitiglio from doing it. Some people find makeup unattractive on everyone as well. I am pretty certain that not everyone has an English speaking person to confer with, and that is why we get some of the messes we do.
2 people like this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
9 Apr 10
hi gardengerty I do not know now what I have got myself into as one
poster was really tearing into me, and now maybe I should have
left this alone but its all out here now, and my intentions were
of the best, and not meaning to stir up some sort of trouble.
I did not accuse this person of anything but maybe not wording it the way he meant it so that it sounded biased and probably was not meant that
way. s urely he could have found an English speaking person in all of India. he seemed to be pretty well educated too. well hope I was really wrong. should not have started this discussion I guess.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (160488)
• United States
9 Apr 10
Hatley, this discussion lets us all explore some cultural differences, and it is okay.In a way I wish I had gone to look for the original post to see what I thought of it. Do not be upset, it is an honest discussion
2 people like this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
9 Oct 11
hi gardengerty for a person who is always lamenting about users not commenting on their responses they get,I should be ashamed as I find a lot of responses I did not comment on as someone
revived this so am now catching all of them. shame of me.
revived this so am now catching all of them. shame of me.1 person likes this
@laglen (19759)
• United States
7 Apr 10
I think Hatley, that it was something lost in the translation. Maybe their country doesnt have the same racism issues or what seems offensive in English isnt in another language. I think unless the person specifically stated clearly that black women are not beautiful, I wouldnt be worried. If anybody did say that, I would chalk it up to ignorance. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
2 people like this
@laglen (19759)
• United States
7 Apr 10
ok, I finally found the response you were talking about. I was on the right discussion but had to fund the response. Something to keep in mind. Some cultures of color, believe that the lighter their skin the better and more pretty they are. This is true in a lot of African communities. The person who said this is located in India. This is a country with various shades of skin. This may be the case. I am NOT saying it is ok, I am just trying to clarify the rationale.
3 people like this
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
7 Apr 10
Ironic you'd say this laglen about the lighter the skin the more beautiful. as a white person who grew up in the era of sunbathing, it was my goal to become as dark as possible to look good. This might be just a matter of beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
But now as I am grown, I see beauty in in skin color, but what is on the inside. For I have known ugly and beautiful people of both colors in the way they act..
3 people like this
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
7 Apr 10
* that is suppose to read, "I see beauty not in skin color."
3 people like this
@celticeagle (165954)
• Boise, Idaho
8 Apr 10
I am at fault on this. There have been several times that I read mine after I post and am embarrased by some mistake I over looked. Ugh! Hopefully the person you speak of did not mean what it seems to imply. I think alot of times people just expect us to know what they meant too. I hope this will serve as a wake-up call and we will all be more careful.
2 people like this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
8 Apr 10
hi celticeagle I liked to have thought this indian did not realize how that sounded to the black people on my lot and I commented that this remark might not be taken right, and maybe should be cleared up as
to what he really meant
2 people like this
@celticeagle (165954)
• Boise, Idaho
8 Apr 10
You would certainly think so. They must not care. Not enough to proofread obviously.
2 people like this
@vandana7 (100123)
• India
7 Apr 10
I am a brownie, and I have no issues about it Hatley. :) I mean I am not touchy about the color of my skin. :) I know I am loved by my papa and I have some very good friends, and god, and that is all that matters to me. :)
! Kathy.
@Polly1 (12645)
• United States
7 Apr 10
I think all women in general are beautiful, doesn't matter the color. I hope the poster wasn't trying to be racist, that is something we don't need here on mylot. We have people from all over the world, different colors, nationalities, religions. For the most part I believe we are all respectful of each other and our different beliefs. Lets hope the person finds this discussion and explains theirself. I do think we sometimes do make mistakes the way we word some things, sometimes we get in a hurry and don't preview or post carefully enough. Plus we get the typos, I'm a good one for that.
2 people like this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
7 Apr 10
hi polly today seems to be my day for dumb typos so just gave up after a while hoping all my friends will be able to read what I really meant. I think really since this person is Indian he just has different views but it would not hurt him to ask an English speaking person to proof read occasionally just to catch an error like that.
3 people like this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
8 Apr 10
hi gabs yes thats the way I saw it whether or not this Indian meant it that way or not thats how it came out, ugh. we have have beauty whether on the outside but hopefully also on the inside. I have known a few handsome people who were so mean its a wonder they did not show it on the outside too,he he.
@dpk262006 (58676)
• Delhi, India
7 Apr 10
Hi Hatley!
I agree with you that discrimination on the basis of colour
or religion or any other such factor is not appreciable, here
on this platform. I firmly believe that beautifulness has
nothing to do with anyone's colour. Beauty lies in the eyes
of a beholder. Also, the one is who is beautiful from inside
is beautiful from outside, as well. Outwardly beauty/appearance
has no meaning if one is not beautiful from inside.
@tess_quinain (1149)
• Philippines
7 Apr 10
i hate discrimination. It's not a good thing to practice. Let's treat everyone fairly.
I hate that person who wrote that. Maybe, he/she meant it that way. Probably.
Stop discrimination!!
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
7 Apr 10
tess I really do not know. I know discrimination is horrible and I do hope nobody does that on mylot as we do not want that here. we are all welcome here, every race and we must not do anything to jar that feeling
at all. we must be careful of our words.
2 people like this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
9 Oct 11
Kathy you are so right we should not hate anyone and we need[peace and tranquility here in mylot as we are from all over the
world and we should welcome that.It is a small world
after all. I love meeting my friends from other countries
and I learn so much each day too
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
8 Apr 10
I think we all have a certain degree of being discriminating but somehow we choose to keep our nasty opinions to ourselves because we don't want to hurt people here.I guess he was just being honest with his opinons but there would have been a subtler way of expressing them without sounding too discriminating.
For me there is no point though of saying that a person is ugly or pretty because we are all equal in the eyes of God and he doesn't measure us by our faces but by our deeds.
2 people like this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
9 Apr 10
Theresaaize yes I do know that but I really do not think we should
air it here, not appropriate at all. you are so right beauty really
is that that shines from one's inner worth our sweetnesses and kindness not by skin colors or anything else.
1 person likes this
@Ritchelle (3790)
• Philippines
8 Apr 10
this stems from the saying that black is beautiful. personally if it is the hue, black, am all for it. i wear it all the time. if it is the color of one's skin, one's race, am also all for it. the most beautiful women in the world belong to this race. so, when someone says what you said it probably means that one may belong to this race but isn't beautiful all the time(as is the case with all races).
2 people like this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
9 Apr 10
hi ritchelle yes thats probably what he was thinking about, and I swear that to me all people are beautiful in their own ways, all colors as to me beauty comes from within, from ones character, not ones good or bad looks an u gly outside might will cover a beautiful character radiating good will, kindness all things that are good.
2 people like this
@1anurag1 (3576)
• India
7 Apr 10
I think really the racism exist and a person who dont want even to speak, some time also speaks unintentionally.
i think he did this but did not want to hurt someone. as in a way he raises a wrong thing.
i am also not white i am not even black,
i am a human and better than animal. who dont just see the race of any to talk or communicate.
i think no body dont ever think when he or she needs a good doctor and he or she is from different race or community.
2 people like this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
7 Apr 10
1anurag1 you are so right, when we are ill the skin of any doctor does not matter, he or she is there to help us and we should have only respect for him or her. We honor all races on mylot and reach out and talk to each other and share our lives. I think perhaps the person may have issues with skin color but he must be careful here how he words things to avoid hurting some one, maybe he just did not realize that.If God made us why are we concerned about the colors of skin of anyone,God only does good.
3 people like this
@bystander (2292)
• Philippines
10 Apr 10
i haven't come across that discussion topic, but going by what you are saying, i find the one who posted that topic quite irresponsible. how can one make a sweeping statement like that, even if the presentation may have been grammatically garbled (another sign!) or logically incongruous. we should be more careful and responsible in putting forward topics for discussion... racism should be out... also, prejudice... gender bias must never be tolerated also... etc. etc... one cannot hide in guise of inadequacy... neither can one hide under the cloak of assumed ignorance... that's a moral crime...
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
10 Apr 10
hi bystander to me it looked to be bordering on racist and I was just
wondering how many black people might view that and be offended. He
may not have meant what it looked like,but I left a comment asking him if he meant that to be a racist remark and that on an open forum this might not fly.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
12 Apr 10
hi bystander I may have stirred up a tempest in a tin pot but my only concern was that this might have been misinterreted and he did not mean to make it sound racist. sure he has a right to his own opinions but not to air a racist remark on my lot with all the various countries visitin here everyday.
@bystander (2292)
• Philippines
12 Apr 10
you have a point there, hatley. whoever that guy/gal that made the post may not have intended making a racist remark, but ignorance does not spare one from the responsibility for things he/she does or says...
1 person likes this
@mr_pearl (5018)
• India
7 Apr 10
The statement which says that some women are black and... etc... is the weirdest and cheapest one, I have ever read. had it been only about complexion then 60% of women in my country could never have married...
For me, it is not complexion. It is all about good looks, a proper and lovely smile and a decent personality... That is enough.. I haven't yet thought about complexion... Wonder, are we still suffering (minorly) from racism???? 
1 person likes this
@mr_pearl (5018)
• India
8 Apr 10
I trust I know the person who started that discussion... I have not read it fully, but I have read its heading... There are weirdos around Hatley... And worse, we can't do anything about it... 
If I had read the discussion fully, I would have posted my personal opinion in there, pointing out the objectionable comments... Hope you have done it already... Take care..
If I had read the discussion fully, I would have posted my personal opinion in there, pointing out the objectionable comments... Hope you have done it already... Take care..1 person likes this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
9 Apr 10
hi mr pearl I did do that as I felt maybe he had not meant it that way. he is a very odd person to start out with. and seems to have opinions carved in stone, but thats his right of course.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
7 Apr 10
hi mr pearl I thought so too a nd did not really know just what
to make of it, really weird and unkind, we should care more
about what is under the skin of each of us instead of thinking only
of outword beauty. I do so hope we are not suffering evem a little
about racism here, there is no place for it at mylot.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
7 Apr 10
I'm going to guess that it wasn't intentional, but you never know. You do get a lot of attitudes on here from all around the world. Still, not everybody who comes on here from a foreign country has somebody who can help them make sure their post is right before they post it....
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
7 Apr 10
hi dawnald I am so hoping too that it was not intentional but
again no I did not know for sure, it just seemed oddly worded'but surely he could have found an English friend to proof read it, or so I
would hope, maybe not. I did comment that he may not have realize that
could be misread into something that would upset some people.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (100123)
• India
8 Apr 10
You know Dawn, this is the reason I go to great lengths to write long passages. If I write short responses, I might end up using words that hurt somebody. :( I really admire how you all respond briefly, without hurting anybody. I have read so many of your discussions by now, and not a single word out of place. :)
2 people like this
@feijiangjun (245)
• China
9 Apr 10
Well , I can confirm that the poster is just careless rather than he or she have racial discrimination. I say sorry for the poor poster to those dear black friends . I think the meaning of the sentence " but some women are black, .. not beautiful " is that he or she consider a woman with black skin can hardly said to be beautiful. It is as normal as black friends may say "some women are white ……not beautiful"
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
12 Apr 10
hi fejjoiangjun I am a white person but have friends of all colors here and I just did not really understand where this person was coming from, so maybe I an just misreading what he meant. but to me I could see how some people might think it was racist.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
9 Apr 10
feijiangjun if only he had not phrased it like that or better yet kept his prejudices to himself and not put it out there for our black friends to read. I do not really think that black skin is not beautiful, if thats his take I am sorry for him and those who think white is not beautiful folks that is what is known as racist, it does not belong here on an open forum to all countries at all. keep those racists ideas to yourselves think what you please just do not write it.
@feijiangjun (245)
• China
11 Apr 10
I think I can understand your feeling, racial problem is very serious to you and I think I would better not be got involved in such a topic. You see ,in my country there is hardly racial problem and discrimination. In my concept ,white and black are only nouns of color. However ,now I can understand why you are so serious about that sentence. You and all black friends deserve an apologist ,a sincerely apologist and respect
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
10 Apr 10
hi andy of course people are allowed to voice their opinions and for goodness sake you are avoiding the real issue, it is not popularity it is being prejudiced against black women that I was concerned about as this is an o pen forum, I do not think mylot admins would want us showing our racist tendencies on a forum open to people from all over. how would you like to have your race, whatever it is, made fun of and sneered at?; I am not stopping anyone from anything, just asking is that meant as a racist
remark, and is it wise to make it here?freedom of speech does not allow for discrimination.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
12 Apr 10
andy you and I are bound to not agree so fine, you have a right to your opinion and I have a right to mine. sure there are racists, whoopee
'is that good? no. It is not what I like, forget me for goodness sake, if you want to be nasty take this someplace else. I am not going to fight with you here.I am just saying this is an open forum, and according to mylot admins we are not supposed to insult, flame or belittle people here. I will not argue with you, as aNything I would write would be something you are going to disagree with. I am not attacking anyone.You come back with more of this I will report it.
@andy77e (5156)
• United States
11 Apr 10
Then that's not freedom. The whole point of freedom of speech is to allow freedom in what we talk about.
Whether you like it or not, some people are racist. Whether you like it or not, that's their right. Or do you rather think we should discriminate against people for their opinion? Doesn't that defeat the purpose of not discriminating?
I would suggest you at least be ideologically consistent. Either discrimination is wrong, and therefore wrong that you discriminate against people with opinions you do not agree with. Or discrimination is ok, and stop attacking people for discriminating opinions.
Unless you want to be a hypocrite, discrimination is either always wrong, or always ok. It can't be wrong for them, but right for you.
1 person likes this
@climber7565 (2579)
• United States
9 Apr 10
It is true that people here, in light of language barriers, neglect to pay attention and write just because they can type. Good writing must be neutral at most, unless intentionally meant to attack a particular group or subject. I don't want to speculate but is probably one of those times when the author thought and totally skipped typing the necessary missing term.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
9 Apr 10
hi climber I am hoping its just a mismanagement of words and he did not mean to discriminate against our black friends here, as this is an open
forum and mylot admins states it is open to people from all over the'
world so we should all have at least respect for each other here.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
10 Apr 10
hi climber yes we have a large group here with all sorts of people but really mostof us seem to respect each other and thats so wonderful given that we are from all over the globe. beauty should be seen from the idea of the total person no matter what color of skin or outer looks, a gorgeous face on someone who is mean and unkind does not do it for me.
@climber7565 (2579)
• United States
9 Apr 10
Hi Hatley, I am with you on that thought. Well you know there are all kinds out there and we hope its a mistake. People are so likely to stereotype.
1 person likes this
@geqiandeyu (84)
• China
7 May 10
it is ture in our mind,white(colour,not race) looks beautiful than black.even in china,we say,oh,your skin looks so nice..just because she using face cream. that is why whitening cream so expensive.Michelle Obama maybe very beautiful in western eyes.but i don't think so.i don't want to pretend justice.
i hope Obama won't angry with me,i know he love her.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
7 May 10
hi but I think a lot of black women are beautiful and it doesnt make me think black is not attractive,after all beauty is as beauty does, and the inner person brings out the beauty or the ugly depending on their character and personality.
black women are beautiful and it doesnt make me think black is not attractive,after all beauty is as beauty does, and the inner person brings out the beauty or the ugly depending on their character and personality.@geqiandeyu (84)
• China
8 May 10
you make me recall that movie.i like it very much
1 person likes this
