love with one, fun with other?
By vine88
@vine88 (1031)
India
April 8, 2010 3:12pm CST
well, this thing is happening now a days. Partners are cheating each other. It's not good in relationship. It's better to make fun, with whom you love. What should a husband and wife should do, to make their love strong. I amaze, and heard many stories of man who love his wife and make illegal relations or make fun with others girls? Why this thing happening? What should husband and wife do to stop this illegal relationships?
7 people like this
29 responses
@jinjer168 (1596)
• Philippines
9 Apr 10
That's what i truly don't understand really, i can see many couple having this same kind of problem wherein the husband will tell that he really love his wife despite that he's having an affair with others. That should not be the case i guess. If you really love someone you must not do anything that could hurt him/her.
What should wife and husband to do stop this illegal relationship? It's plain and very simple, just follow the golden rule that says, "do not do unto others what you don't want others to do unto you."
1 person likes this
@rinzgca (316)
• Philippines
9 Apr 10
Yes, that's true. A lot of bad acts have been happening around us, including adultery, that roots to being selfish. Some people do not think about their acts and its consequences. They do not connect that their activities would eventually have a negative or positive effect on them as well. Thus, for the sake of living for the moment or having pleasure for the moment, they exchange temporary happiness to permanent unhappiness.
Of course, everyone is tempted to cheat. I agree that it must be hard to keep the zipper on if a sexy lady comes in and starts chatting you up. But what's important is how you act on your temptation. Do you give in or not. If a husband or wife truly loves their partner, they will not give in. Instead, if there is something wrong with their relationship, they will fix it. Not escape the problem by finding what they want or need from each other in other people.
@cobrateacher (8432)
• United States
8 Apr 10
Hi, Vine!
I really don't understand it. I doubt that anything could tempt me to cheat on my wonderful husband, and we've had many, many years to find out! I suspect those who do cheat are insecure, and "conquering" someone else gives them a feeling of strength...
1 person likes this
@climber7565 (2579)
• United States
8 Apr 10
I agree on this with you, has to do with insecurity and also feel is immaturity, lack of values and unbalanced priorities. NO self respect let alone respect for the other member in that relationship.
1 person likes this
@laglen (19759)
• United States
9 Apr 10
We have our fun together. He is my best friend and my lover. I have no desire for anybody else. I can enjoy time with friends and family, but for the most part, I love time spent with him. It is a shame when people start looking out side of their marriage. I think unless there are major issues, it is a mind set, sometimes you have to remind yourself WHY you fell in love.
1 person likes this
@dloveli (4366)
• United States
9 Apr 10
The problem is that people arent taking relationships seriously as they should. Love is such a special feeling. Once you get it its hard to maintain. People tend to grow lazy as the time goes by. All those romantic times become distant memories. When a couple becomes complacent if they dont catch it in time, they'll lose it. People take each other for granted. When this happens people tend to look elsewhere. This is not always the case. Sometimes people dont believe or respect manogamy. In this case these are not the men or women who should be in a committed relationship. dl
1 person likes this
@louierrific24 (1114)
• Philippines
8 Apr 10
Third-party relationship is normally blamed to the one committing dishonesty but looking at the bigger, clearer and more vivid picture it can root from both sides.
Sometimes being honest involves a question of trust. Why would I be honest if she does not trust me? I'm not saying that it's a reasonable reaction and I'm also not justifying dishonesty but for sure men/women thinks of that.
Open question;
"What's better, you trust me because I am honest or I am honest because you trust me?"
1 person likes this
@xiapengyu86 (26)
• China
9 Apr 10
There is a saying that the home flowers is not as fragrant as the wild ones.I think the case you mentioned is a hard to change.
1 person likes this
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
11 Apr 10
If this type of relationship were illegal here in the States half the population would be in Jail. my guess is that the married person loves his/her spouse but they don't feel the closeness or the passion they once did.But instead of trying to work on it with their partner, they find a passion with someone else.Or They Never felt the closeness and they Finally found it with someone else.Or they cheat because they can. There are many reasons.
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
8 Apr 10
Hi, vine88 Plainly, a man and a woman need to be faithful with each other. They will have to be only for each other. They can't expect to share their beds with other people. If they do this, then there will be no cheating on each other. They also have to be able to resist and avoid temptation when it comes. And they have to be good and ready to settle down with just one person. If they are not, chances are, they will cheat in the end and they may just be unfaithful to the one that they are with.
1 person likes this
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
9 Nov 10
The most important thing that needs to happen in relationships so that this sort of thing will not be happening between a husband and a wife is that there needs to be good communication in a relationship. I've seen based on my own relationship and also the relationships of my friends that there are stronger relationships where neither spouse is tempted to philander when there is good communication. However, when there are shortcomings in communication, it seems like there is more likelyhood of seeing philandering in the relationship.
@mavieserrano728 (670)
• Philippines
12 Apr 10
The problem is what if both are in denial and would not accept that they are cheating? Because the next question will be, why are still staying in the relationship they have if they are both too busy entertaining somebody else instead of nourishing their relationship and spending time together? The best way to stop it is admit then accept then learn how to forgive and forget. Meeting half way. Spending more time with each other and do stuff that both of you enjoy.
@caliya (1169)
• Philippines
12 Apr 10
i know a few people who do stuffs like this. i think it's ugly and should not be tolerated. i don't want to get involve with a relationship full of deceit and lies. i am completely honest and faithful and i like to think and hope that my partner will also be honest and faithful otherwise it will be the end of the road for us.
@grecychunny26 (9483)
• Philippines
10 Apr 10
a relationship comes to a point that man will cheat with his wife because she saw someone whos more beautiful, more cheerful, more sweet and more attractive. I guess it happen because one in the relationship have no time for their wife or husband, or they lost communication because of work and other priorities. I guess it is both their responsibility to let the love flow from them even if they have to take care of different things, or i guess when they have activities do it together. Cheating is a decision, some cheat some are not. they have all the answers on how they can make their relationship strong.
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
10 Apr 10
i don't think this is simple. if one used to cheat the other, even if one knows about the cheating so we say, let him/her be. we cannot stop one from doing what he/she loves to do. but we can always give them a choice, stop cheating or leave.
@hagirl (1295)
• United States
10 Apr 10
People just do not have morals and values anymore.... They often forget the vows they took on their wedding day also.... I agree with you one needs to make fun with the one they love.... Sometimes you have to be inventive but isn't that what love is all about anyway....
@bystander (2292)
• Philippines
10 Apr 10
that's more an aberration than real, vine. more of breach, than the rule, as others would put it. a good relationship doesn't make a cheating wife, nor a cheating husband. there's no sense in stopping what hasn't begun... so, it's better to nurture one's relationship than deal with the problems of a relationship gone haywire later...
@besthope44 (12123)
• India
9 Apr 10
Well i believe its due to the lack of love and self control towards oneself. And i believe people who dont believe in true love will no way considered as human beings. They will be punished by the almighty!
@770876 (151)
• Malaysia
9 Apr 10
respect and understand , support with the love one, Fun with others is not good ideas for a married person. In my opinion, That will make them into trouble.
